As usual, BB is running late on Sunday night, this time due to football. Eagles won, so that's good for the Gryn household. On the other hand, the Dodgers lost to San Francisco and that makes me cranky. I tune in to a large shot of Morley Safer looking like DEATH warmed over and then we go from bad to worse when Andy Rooney comes on. He is doing a tribute to Walter Cronkite and as usual it's mostly useless, but at least he combed his hair for this one into a fetching Hitler-like do. There is no help for the Gandalf-like eyebrows, however.

Previouslies start. If you want to know, read copssister's excellent recap for details.

Aaaaaand we're off to a recap show. Which I have to recap. So what happens? We start with a recap of shit we JUST SAW!!!!!!!! IN THE PREVIOUSLIES!!!!!! GAH!!!!!!!

Sorry, abuse of punctuation. I'm like Jeff with all the abuse going on here.

DRs of Jordan and Kevin pondering who to choose if they win the final HOH. Don't care.

Final supper at the mini-table. They have champagne and Kevin proclaims it "expensive." Nice of FUG to go for the $10 bottle of Cook's. Slogan: "Champagne so good, they christen ships with it!" They pop the bottle open and eat their final meal. I'm not even interested enough to tell you what it is, and you know when I don't notice food I am way bored. The final three start pulling a Survivor-like "Ghosts of Hammies Past" but they are reading a script the whole time and Natalie really sucks at it so most of the talking is by Kevin and Jordan, which is okay by me.

Flashbacks: Jessie entering the house. I vomit. However, the editors on loan from TAR make him look like a complete asshat so that's good. The best part is him in nightvision with Manson lamps for eyes, talking to a fast asleep Lydia and Natalie. When he realizes his droning has put them out, he says, "I'm a catapillar and until people hear my story I can never be a butterfly." Dude. If you need to wrap yourself in a cocoon, then you should stop ripping off your clothes at any given opportunity.

Flashback: Casey is one angry banana. I feel recheated he went so early. Speaking of going early, Braden and LaUUra are nowhere to be found in any flashback.

Flashback: Ronnie hides in the HOH and when he has to emerge he is chased by Big Bad Bully Russell, sporting a Fu Manchu 'stache he grew in about three and a half hours. After that we are treated to Kevin going ballistic on Ronnie, getting in his face and screaming like a mad man. Then we see Ronnie crying like a girl. And I say that as a female who tends to cry a lot. Stupid fucking Ronnie. Easily most hated hamster this season and makes my top five for sure.

Flashback: Jeff time. I'd like to recap this part of you, but am easily distracted. Pretty! Hi Jeff! Call me! What? I'm married? Crap. Hi Jeff! Call tismissella!

Flashback: Lydia's obsession with Jessie. Watching her watch him sleep is even creepier. Awesome editors add the psycho sound track and when she leaves the room, Jessie "wakes up" and checks to see if there is a horse's head in his bed with him. No, Jessie, but I see a horse's ass.

Flashback: Cootie Taw time! A great moment in BB 11 and fun to watch again as the Pretty slowly stands up, Jessie's neck veins bulge out and Chima's ass puckers even more than its natural state. This segues into the Mourning of Jessie, which takes so long there is a commercial break in the middle of all the wailing and rending of garments.

Flashbacks: Jeff gardens shirtless, Natalie is afraid of dragonflies.

Flashback: Chima's awesome meltdown. Tossing the mic, refusing to go to the DR and then we have the Voice of FUG, speaking to Chima like she is a preschooler who refuses to use the potty. "No need to sit, you're going out this way." Rewind, repeat, rewind, repeat. Awesome.

Flashback: Michele's night terrors. Well, some are terrors, some are a little more...ah...intimate in nature. The segment ends with Michele calling out "BURST!" which completely confuses her roommates and the audience. I suspect she was reliving the Pop the Zit challenge.

Flashback: Jeff and Jordan relationship time. Like Web Soup, this is the palate cleanser, which makes the Widows of Jessie "Things You Can't Unsee." Lots of footage of cute Jeff and cute Jordan, a diary room together, talk of going to Hawaii where Jordan will have to "do it" with Jeff (what an abuser!). Jordan thinks they'll be snorkeling all day, Jeff has no plans to leave the hotel room. All I can say to that is, "BURST!"

Flashback: Jordan/Russell chest bumping. Whose boobs are bigger? That should have been a survey this season, but I guess LaUUra would have run away with a write in vote. Anyway, Russell thinks calling Jeff out for not fighting for his woman is a good move, but Jeff clearly owns Russell's ass and is great at handling the asshattedness that is Russell trying to be a tough guy.

FINALLY we are coming to the end and we see a group hug with the three hammie survivors of BB11. Survivor! Survivor Samoa starts on Thursday, THANK OGG! I'm so D-U-N with this season!

Tuesday can't come soon enough.