Previously on Big Brother: Jeff and Jordon’s summer romance is about to be torn apart as they are on the block together, With his life on the line, Jeff tries to get Gnats vote, and Kevin starts to question Gnat’s trustworthiness. Jeff makes one last plea, but as the vote was tied, Kevin chooses to evict Jeff. Gnat wins HOH (ugh).

On to the show: We begin the show with a repeat (much to our sorrow) of Jeff’s eviction. With a last kiss on the check for Jordon (come on Jeff!), Natalie tells us in her shrill that she’s been waiting for this opportunity to evict Jeff since he used the Power to get rid of Jesse it felt great. Jordan, wishes it had been her that was evicted and “I’m all alone now, and it sucks.” Our last words from Jeff “it sucks.”

Kevin’ watching Jeff’s picture goes to black and white tells us that if he had “approached me for a vote, I probably would have kept him”. Yeah, sure Kevin, we all believe that one. Just like you promised not to put Jeff on the block
In the diary room, Michelle says that now that Jeff is gone she “has the biggest target on my back because I’m the strongest competitor in this game. I’m scared I have to win this HOH, or I’m’ pretty sure I’m leaving.” Well, actually you have to win the POV, but that’s another story.

Now we move on to Natalie winning HOH from last week. Natalie carries on jumping and screeching, it’s more exercise then she has gotten all season and she won because she is so honest, (at least we didn’t have to hear again how it was for Chima). Yes Natalie, we all know that your honesty has brought you this far in the game. Yes Natalie has shown us she is a true competitor in this competition “there’s no more acting like she’s a weak competitor. I have to make a name for myself in this game.” Whatever Natalie. Kevin sums it up about right: “Natalie celebrates like she won this eight-hour endurance competition. She acts like she’s a strong competitor, but she really hasn’t won anything in this game. This one she lucked out.” Well, Kevin thinks that he’s safe this week. Michelle is bummed that she “lost to an 18 year-old”. And Jordan thought this was her competition to win, to avenge the eviction of Jeff.

Switch to Natalie alone with Kevin by the picture wall; Gnat and pledges that they definitely have a final two deal “Don’t ever doubt it”. Go ahead, trust her Kevin: “You’re going to try 100% in the veto, right?” Nat ” Of course”. Whatever. Natalie wants Michelle gone this week because SHE stands in the way of the final two. “If we win the veto, we go to the final two.”

Jordan is now on the gray couch of sadness in the green room tears in her eyes, a lost Jordon: “Right now, all I want to do is keep my distance from everyone…I don’t want to be a part of any scheming. I just want to be left alone.”

Kevin and Natalie are now in the Red BR room, and Kevin notes that Jordan is at least “hanging in there”. Natalie sleuth whispers to Kevin that he’ll be going up. Kevin “This Bitch is putting ME up??? “ It’s been 5 minutes and 25 seconds and Natalie is already suffering from HOH-it is, do I have to slap the B*tch up?” Natalie insists it’s just a ploy to throw the others off that they are working together. Yeah right, no one will figure that out.

The unveiling of the HOH room. Thankfully a short segment. Shedding her usual basketball shorts, Natalie is in a bikini. No further comment. We get a glimpse of her boyfriend. Surprisingly, he looks like a regular guy; red head, polo shirt and jeans in the picture. Stinky’s most precious gift in the HOH room? A blanket, that smells like her boyfriend Jason. Luckily BB leaves the scene there. Kevin –you are the next and last HOH.

Next to the kitchen where the girls have congregated. Natalie tells J and M that she is going to put Kevin up. She will tell Jordan and Michelle “anything they need to hear to think they are safe”. She then informs them that she will put up Kevin. “Kevin is a strong, fierce competitor, and if he goes to the finals he will win.” Nat swears, her deal was only to final 4, and she has honored her deal. Michelle points out for the millionth time this week, that she has no friends in the jury house (please take me, just think about it!).

Luxury competition! Natalie and Kevin pair up for one team, with Jordan and Michelle on the other. Wearing bikinis (well, except for Kevin) they head outside and find two boutiques. Each team has 10 minutes to match five items of clothing. Any time left over is for a mad dash to grab clothing for themselves. With 3 minutes and 28 seconds left, they can shop till they drop in the house. They can keep everything they can put on and wear. The girls make good use of their time, however Kevin is obsessed with the clothes on the mannequin and wastes most of his time undressing it. Kevin can now die happy.
We move on to Michelle and Kevin in the HOH. Kevin says there is no way he can win against Natalie, and he has to get rid of her. He thinks the two of them should pair up, to get rid of Natalie. Michelle is as non committal as she can be…. hmmmm….. yeah…. hmmmmm…..I really do want to make it to the final three. Michelle continues not to commit. Kevin proclaims in the diary room that he needs to think about getting rid of Natalie. Ok Kevin, did you discuss this with Natalie?

Jordan in the pool “this is just stressful.” Natalie to Jordon “I haven’t lied to you at all and the only way we have a chance is in a final two together.” Whatever you say Stinky.

Pandora’s Box: In the HOH, Natalie finds Pandora’s Box. She opens a blue envelop, which says that opening the door could result in something good or bad for her or the house.

The choice: a visit from someone outside the house, on the screen, her boyfriend Jason

The penalty, she can’t play in the veto

Knowing, it leaves Kevin to play for himself, she opens Pandora’s Box. That’s your true blue partner Kevin, will do anything to get you both to the final two!

It’s killing me. Kevin looks so normal! I expected, I don’t know, at the least a gang banger or something. Jason, dressed in a red shirt and neat black slacks rose in hand, embraces Natalie, basketball shorts and grungy tank. OMG, he gets down on one knee, and proposes, hands her a rose, and ring, a twisty tie. Natalie actually smiles! Her yes is qualified by the fact that she “gave up a lot” to see him.

Jason hands her yet another blue card. They can have another 15 minutes together if she is willing to have the rest of the house a little annoyed. Not giving a damn about her fellow housemates, she goes for another 15 minutes. A 250 pound “Baby” dressed in a blue onsie and bib attacks Michelle Kevin on the orange couch calling them Mommy, and starts chasing them around the backyard. Meanwhile, Jason tells Natalie that her dad is proud of her, and has given them his permission to Marry. Jason as for permission on Premiere night (I can’t handle much more of this) Downstairs, the baby follows M and K into the house where the encounter a three foot tall cat! A copy cat that repeats everything they do and say. The copy cat attached himself to Jordan, and was annoying the crap out of her. Back upstairs vowed not to tell anyone about the engagement. It will hurt her in the game. Really?? That you chose yourself over Kevin? Back down stairs and 5 foot tall roach appears, squirting a bottle of bug kill. Enough of that.
Upstairs in the HOH, and Natalie declares to K/L/M that she “just got screwed royally”. She informs them that she can’t play in the POV and there is a final two reversal, so she can’t win the half million, just because she opened the Pandora’s Box. She claims she was locked up, chained, and handcuffed. Kevin’s reaction the diary room, “Bitch your lying. Something good came out of this, and you got it.”

Later, everyone else is outside except for Natalie, trying to figure out the convoluted story she told. Even Jordon knows she is lying. They have a theory that only she can win the half million. Natalie wonders out and they question her again. They get, don’t ask me about it. Way to win the trust Natalie. Kevin walks out “I’m not buying what this bitch is selling”. Your putting your final 2 on this one Kevin. Kevin and Natalie meet upstairs in the HOH. Kevin says he has to get to the bottom of this, and tells her that this doesn’t make any sense. “We all know you, and if you just lost $500,000, you’d be breaking windows. It’s just not adding up.”

Natalie decides to “come clean”. Cause you know, she just can’t lie. She heads back downstairs, and declares “y’all just got got by an 18 year-old”. And “I know you all believed me, right?” Oh yeah, they all believed her (not a one, not even Jordon) She then admits that she got to see Jason and tells them the story of the proposal. Not a single one looks like they believe a word she is saying. But Natalie has the evidence of the twisty tie ring, so it must be true. And, cause Stinky would never lie. She goes around the room trying to get Kevin, Jordon and Michelle to admit they believed her first story. To quote Kevin in many a DR session, Yeah, Right Bitch! Or Michelle “I swear I’m living in a bizarre world.” Kevin is convinced at this point, her name isn’t even Natalie.

I have to say this has been an agonizing episode. It was difficult to watch let alone recap. Especially since I am a scientist like Michelle and have no sense of humor when it comes to writing. But, we have FINALLY made it to nominations. As we join the house guest in the BY, Michelle proclaims she would be surprised if she does not go up. Jordan doesn’t really believe that Natalie is being honest (Jeff told her not to believe Natalie or Kevin) with her so she could be going up too. Kevin is pissed at the lying bitch, knows he is going up, and has only himself fighting in the upcoming POV competition. Just before the nominations, Natalie claims that she’s hiding her loyalties and so he has to put up Kevin. And Michelle and Jordon don’t have a clue she is working with Kevin. Yeah right, you are just that good Natalie!

Natalie is looking totally ridiculous in the HOH bathrobe, sunglasses, pool rack, and a red plastic crown. She has just one key of safety--Jordan. She nominated Kevin because “you say that the big brother game is like a game of chess. Well, Kevin, I just thought three moves in advance, and you just got duped…I‘m going to try to beat you to the punch and get you out before you get me out.” Natalie nominated Michelle “strictly for personal reasons. I feel you are a backstabber and a liar. You tried to make a deal with me last week, and said if I was to vote to keep Jeff in this house you’d guarantee me in the final three. Michelle, if I make a deal with you, then I’m making a deal with the devil.” If Michelle is the devil, you my dear Natalie are Satan.

As we close, Natalie says she’s “playing the house like a fiddle”, and that Michelle is her true target. And who doesn’t know that Stinky??? Kevin is frustrated with Natalie, she doesn’t have her back in this game. Michelle claims that this devil will not take Natalie to the final two.

On to Tuesday and the veto.