Apologies for my tardiness in posting. Mother Nature was conspiring against me.

Here we go…

Previouslies
*Jeff wins the power of… “What? Coopdedah?” Yep, he’s the Wizard. Jeff receives this news in the DR while the other hammies work themselves into a frenzy over the wizardly powers.
*Michele and Russell fight. Chima and Russell fight. Chima wins HOH and Russell is screwed.
*Russell DR: I am so screwed. Grrraaarrr! Russell want to smash.
*Wizard Jeff DR: (this looks so forced): Chima, your HOH is worthless and I win.
*The Piv stops by to further torpedo his career.
*Chima nominates Russell and Lydia.

Who will win the power of veto? And how will the mystery power affect the game? *bites nails

Opening montage segues into another rehash of what we just saw before the montage. Chima nominates Russell and Lydia again.

Lydia DR: Waaaah.
Russell DR: Waaaah.

Wussycats (Jessie, Natalie and Chima) gather in the red room to pat each other on the back. Barf. The mac dwellers commiserate in the KT. Lydia does her best “woe is me” face.

BB is playing the “there’s something afoot” mystery music. Wussycats confab: Jessie declares Jeff to be the wizard, Chima agrees. Natalie (who I’m assuming just likes to disagree with anyone) argues that he won’t use it.

Jessie DR: Jessie want POV. You… can’t… play… (silence) to win. If you don’t get to play at all. (No need to embellish, just an exact dictation of his DR).

Natalie goes back to the fantasy in her head that she’s some kind of competition threat and demands that Chima pick her for HG’s choice. Jessie gets pissy about this and leaves.

Have Not room: Russell pleads for his life with Wizard Jeff. Jeff seems agreeable.

Jeff DR: Power, power, power. I gots it. You wants it.
Russell DR: Oops, now that I’m on the block, I have to kiss some ass. I sure wish I hadn’t pissed everyone off last week.

Michele and Russell rehash the fight while playing pool. Russell gets frustrated, Michele looks confused. Michele falls on her “I don’t remember” defense. Michele gets mad and storms off to tattle to Chima. Russell FAIL. He really sucks at mending fences.
Womyn power meeting in the HOH: Michele, Chima and Natalie. I think it’s hilarious that Lydia is never invited to the Grrrl Power meetings.

Russell gives Michele some Ronnie treatment as she walks out of the HOH.
Russell: You’re a psycho and a liar.
Michele: No, you’re a liar. And she throws in some Chima-isms for good measure.
Somewhere in America, RatFinkRonnie is smirking and I cringe.

HGs gather for POV selection.
Kevin DR: Wait, am I playing a game? I want POV.
Jessie DR: Wizard power is going to fuck me! Me, me, me! Also, me!

POV selections are as follows:
Chima picks Natalie.
Russell gets HG choice and picks Jeff.
Russell DR: Jessie, you suck!
Lydia also gets HG choice and picks Kevin. Yes, we’re all so surprised.
Chima picks Michele to be the host.

Jessie DR: I’m breaking up with Russell. It’s not me, it’s him.

The HGs are dressed in chicken suits and enter the BY. Michele is dressed in overalls and looks kinda adorable.
The rules are these: the HGs have to pull an egg up through some chicken wire with their fingers, carry the egg across the bacon-shaped platform, and place the egg on the egg stand. First to get 12 eggs will win veto.

Lydia DR: Kevin loves me.
Natalie DR: I smell.
Chima DR: I hate Russell.
Jeff DR: It so doesn’t even matter if I win or lose.
Kevin DR: I have small hands.
Russell DR: I’m screwed.

Kevin scores first. The competition monster, Natalie drops her egg. Russell and Jeff score soon after. Lydia gets one.
BB throws some feathers at them to the detriment of no one.
Natalie grows frustrated because she sucks at everything she does and Jeff rubs salt in her wound by taunting her.
Jeff: What are you going to do? Throw an egg at me? You can’t even get one out.

Natalie DR: I suck and smell.

Kevin and Russell are cruising right along.

Chima DR: Just a cackle at her own joke.
Natalie finally gets one egg and she wants a freaking parade. Yep, she’s a competition monster.

Lydia DR: Kevin is totally going to win for me.

It’s a three-way race at this point between Kevin, Russell, and Lydia. Russell tries to shit-talk Kevin but to no avail. Kevin prevails and wins POV despite freaking out and almost losing it.

Kevin looks like he’s just been elected prom queen, he’s so happy.

Kevin DR: Oh, crap. I might have to use this on Lydia.
Russell DR: I’m screwed.

Kevin and Lydia do a Chilltown dance in the WC in celebration. Kevin suggests the idea of not using the POV and meeting with the Wussycats to ensure Lydia’s safety. Insert Lydia pouty face here.

Kevin DR: I’ve managed to float through the game this far with my Ghost Strategy. If I use POV, then people may actually remember who I am.
Russell DR: I’m screwed.

Jessie/Russell confab in SR. Russell throws Jeff under the bus, backs over him and runs over him a few more times. Jessie cries about not being able to play for POV and the wizard power.

Jessie rats out Russell to Jeff. Jessie puckers up and kisses some wizard ass.

Jessie DR: Wizard powers suck when I don’t have them.

Jessie tells Jordan the same story about the sucking of Russell.

Jordan DR: I don’t like Jessie.

Jeff and Jordan confab in the hammock. The gist: Jessie is a turd. Jordan dreams of HOH and Jeff lays the groundwork for the fireworks on Thursday by suggesting a Natalie/Jessie nomination.

Russell DR: Fuck Chima.

Uh oh. BB went there. Chima tells Russell he should have been on America’s Top Terrorists and the season of unaccountable bigotry continues. Chima tries to backtrack and explain that it’s not a slur because Russell is terrorizing everyone in the house.

BB plays a “Russell is a bully” montage.

Natalie, of course, has to say some dumb shit to try and be relevant.
Chima and Russell escalate into another screaming match. What is this, like the 10th time they’ve done this? Terrorist, Racist, Terrorist, Racist. Back and forth. There was a pot/ kettle comment in there (used correctly), which I’m sure confused Jessie to no end.

Luxury “prize” time. The Haves gather to watch Jeremy Piven’s paycheck in the HOH. Russell and Chima start in again. Queen Chima is not happy that Russell is there and I’m sure she went to production to try and get Russell put out of the reward.

Have Nots whine in the BY.

Russell DR: I loved, loved, loved the movie. Call me, Jeremy Piven!

Lydia bitches to Russell about Kevin. Poor Lydia, I can’t believe that someone is refusing to take care of her.

Lydia DR: I’m justifying throwing Kevin under the bus.

Kevin confronts Lydia about blabbing about the POV. Lydia whines and does her best sad dog face. They move their meeting to the bubble wrap room and the lamest fight ever commences. The two try to out sad-sack each other and the fight escalates into some more boring footage. You can’t polish a turd, BB.

Time for America’s vote: What should the Have Nots eat for the week?
1. Jalapeno peppers and pepperoni
2. Squeeze cheese and kimchi
3. Sweet pickles and anchovies
I would vote for the kimchi because that will freak them the fuck out.

Requisite memory wall perusing by our POV winner, Kevin.
Kevin DR: Oops. I may have to actually do something.
Chima DR: Do as I say or you’re a terrorist.
Lydia DR: Boo-hoo.
Russell DR: I’m screwed.

Veto meeting is called. Lydia looks like she’s going to cry. Russell looks like he’s going to stab someone. And the speeches:
Russell: You won’t use it on me anyways.
Lydia: Please? Please? Please?

Kevin uses the POV on no one. Lydia pouts. Chima smirks. Kevin grovels.

Lydia DR: Kevin sucks and now I can throw him under the bus with vigor.
Russell DR: Maybe I’m not totally screwed?
Jessie DR: America, you suck for not letting me cakewalk to F2. Me, me, me.
Jeff DR: The wizard, you’re looking at him!

Stay tuned for wizard fireworks on Thursday.