Here we go! My first broadcast recap. This should be interesting…

Previously on BB: Renny wins HOH!! Sparkle factor +9.
Renny guns for April. Renny asks for pawns. Everyone wants Oily to be nominated. BB insinuates that Oily has enough of a brain to mastermind the Jerry nomination.

Who will win POV tonight?

Everyone wiggle your fingers and make the way back machine sounds: It’s BB Black and White Theater, starring: the nomination ceremony!
Nomminee #1 April: you a tough cookie (you are ugly)
Nominee #2: Jerry: you nominated me in week one (you are old)
With that said, we are adjourned.

Jerry mumbles some stuff in the DR: Big boys don’t cry or some such.

Renny DR:April is the target! She’s in Renny’s way of ½ million.
April DR: My feelings are hurt. Boo hoo.
Oily DR: My plan worked! I am not on the block against April.
Dan DR: Why? Not happy with the noms. Renny made a deal with Oily.
Renny could have broken up the most powerful couple. Renny failed.

Secret SR confab with Memphis and Dan. Gotta win POV or Renny will put them up.

April and Oily. Love music time. April cries. Cry, April, cry! Oily comforts. Gross. Oily is going to win POV and save her. He thinks that Jerry is the best person to go against.

April is playing the Dan vulnerability card, then goes all bitchface on Oily who is trying to help her out. Hate her.

Keesha and Renny in the HOH. Renny sparkle factor -2. She looks kinda rough.
Renny likes Oily, so she doesn’t want to put him up.
Keesha DR: what is Renny thinking?

Renny hints at the Godfather mode she went into all week, saying that no one is safe. Keesha doesn’t even feel safe. Damn if I didn’t recap this same convo all week on the live feeds.

Crazy Jerry time, complete with funky music. Oily DR’s that Jerry is losing it.
Jerry prattles on to himself. He says he misses his family and puppy. He keeps on talking to himself. I think Jerry would try to leave the room if he had to listen to Jerry.

POV time!
Everyone looks glum on the couches.
Renny picks Dan.
April picks Keesha.
Jerry picks Oily. April and Oily rejoice. Everyone else looks pissed.

For some reason, Renny continues with her bad judgment and chooses Manny to be the veto host. Dear OGG, help us all.

Oily and April cuddle in the sauna and cackle over Oily’s selection to play veto. Oily psychs himself up and April smiles that Skeletor smile.

Kesh, Dan and Memph HAVE to keep Oily from winning. Keesha is being all , “Renny might put me up!” but I don’t think the boys are buying it.

Memph DR: Renny is a loose cannon. He’s deboarding the Renny train after this HOH.

COMMERCIAL

Manny comes in looking frightful. Oh, it’s foreshadowing for the haunted POV. There's creepy crawlies and a general spooky look to the BY.
There is a giant python and Oily kinda freaks. Then Oily really freaks when he sees the crow.

There are voodoo dolls for all the HG’s and Renny is all weird about it. She knows people who practice real voodoo, y’all.
They have 5 minutes to observe everything in the BY.

Box of Madagascar roaches: April half-assedly pokes her hand in the box. Keesha doesn’t even bother.

Jerry DR: He’s going to fight like hell for the POV. He’s a scrapper. He’s like a street fighter. What street would that be, Jerry?

April DR’s that the strategy for the game is to win or have Oily win. Why even bother stating something so obvious? Another reason to hate April. Dumbass skank.

Manny: the object of the game is to earn 3 points. The answer is an amount. You can stay or fold after answers are revealed. Blah, blah, you ‘re eliminated if you’re the farthest away from the right answer.

Q1: Total length (in inches) of the “serpent”. What we non-BB people know as a big-ass snake.
Oily, Dan, April and Keesha fold. Jerry gets a point. Renny goes out first. (April DR’s that she is excited)

Q2: How many pins are stuffed in the voodoo dolls?
Oily and Dan fold. Jerry gets the point. April is out. (Oily DR’s that it’s up to him)

Q3: How many cockroaches are in the tank? (BTW: Manny says nukular, not nuclear. Moron.)
Dan DR’s that he can’t throw this comp.
Jerry folds. Dan gets a point. Keesha is out.

Q4: How many ounces of blood are in all the containers on the table?
Dan totally read both Oily and Jerry and stayed while they folded and got a free point.

Q4: How many nails are on the bed of nails?
The tension music plays and April is freaking out.

Dan, Dan, HT’s man wins the POV.
And thankfully, Manchelle will stop talking. Geez, that was the most painful hosting I have had to endure. This includes Natatas from last season.

Jerry is bummed, dudes.
April is waaay bummed. She will do ANYTHING to get Dan to use the POV on her.
Anything. We all know what that means.

COMMERCIAL

Manny and April comfort Oily who really sucked at the POV. Jerry zachs in and they are semi-nice to him.

Talk of making a deal with Dan. April has “things” she can give to people. Yeah, I don’t think Dan wants any herpes. Oh, she meant the gold bars. Bribe-gate! It is real.

Dan DR’s that Renny really fucked up by not putting up Oily. He wants to make things right.

Dan and Jerry secret confab in the SR. Jerry is very humble in front of Dan. he tries to tell him that he didn’t use the POV last week, thereby saving Dan’s sweet tushy. Nice manipulation of facts, old man. He’s back to the street fighter motif and he kinda apologizes for his Judas comment. Jerry is all about Dan and Memphis now. Oh, how the worm turns.

RCoS time with Dan and Memph. Who would Oily put up? Dan DR’s that Oily is hiding behind April. Dan would rather make a move than sit around and be booted. Way to try and lead us astray, BB.

Dan has a visit to Renny’s salon. Renny is all bitchy about Dan being a little hesitant. Dan prays while Renny cuts his hair. She says she will scalp him if he continues praying. In the end, Dan loves his hair. And thus ends the comedic relief segment of this episode of BB.

OH MY GOD! They made the table smaller! Dan says goodbye to the lazy susan.
Keesha, the broken record, DR’s that this game is changing sooooo much.

April approaches Dan in the pool and sneaky music plays. Bribe-gate commences. And we have confirmation. April did straight up offer Dan the money. Oh, and she also offered her word but who cares about that. Dan lied a little about talking to Jerry

Dan and Memphis confab #158763648. He goes to talk to Renny about her possible deal with Oily. Renny denies. Dan plays devil’s advocate to try and see who Renny would put up if he uses the POV. She gives him nothing and seems mad about the whole conversation.

COMMERCIAL

Obligatory walk to the memory wall. A bonus close up of the POV box. Tension music builds and swells as we all wait in anticipation: will he or won’t he?
Dan DR: Risk vs. reward.
April DR: Waah! What if Dan uses it on Jerry? Waah!
Jerry DR: I hope he uses it on me! (regretting that superfluous POV speech aren’t you, old man?)

Dan announces the veto meeting.
You guys know how this part goes.
Jerry: I’m 75! I’m a crotchety old man! I’m a street fighter! I called you Judas. My bad.
April: (with fake humility) I know you won’t disrespect Renny by using the POV on me (wink, wink). She respects Renny for putting her on the block. What an idiot.
Dan: Respcet, respect. Bribe-gate. Tough decision. I’m not using the veto.

Veto goes back in the box. Too bad, so sad.

Closing DR’s-
Dan: Bribe-gate gets people in a tizzy.
Jerry: BB house is a hurricane. The game is going to get violent. (The BB house is going to have no utensils in it by BB15)
Oily: I sucked at the POV. I hope I can convince people that April doesn’t suck. As a person, I mean.
April: (warning: don’t be drinking anything when you read this) She’s a realist. Bwah!
She knows she’s going home.

Roll credits.
Damn, that was hard!
Sorry it’s so long, folks.