Previously on Big Brother:

Steven gets voted out...new alliances are being formed......Keesha wins HOH....and all sorts of other stuff....Who will Keesha nominate for eviction and will the Gang of Eight (BB announcer guy's nickname, not mine) be able to keep working together? Find out tonight on Big Brother 10

(cue the Never Ending BB Theme Song That Never Ends)

:: BB B&W Past-O-Vision effect:::

Steven: I'd just like to tell you all one last message - suck it, bitches

The reactions of the gathered Hammies are shocked, shocked I tell you. Don't believe me? Well then just listen to what they had to say:

Manchelle: I was flabbergasted.

PeePaw: That was a personal attack, in my opinion. Not just to the women - he called us all bitches

Dan: My plan to "seem" like a weak player is working beyond my wildest dreams

Angie: It makes you feel lonely when the people you were closest with are gone now and you kind of feel like an outsider.

Keesha: It was very hard to see Steven go. I just felt like if I voted for Steven, everyone in the house was going to come after me.

And isn't that what true friendship is all about? Being there when it's convenient and safe for you to be there for them?

Libra: If we had kept Steven, the alliance of 8 people would have been destroyed so in the end we decided it wasn't worth it

:::switch to "The Present" in stunning Big Brother ColorVision:::

Keesha cries it up in the DR about how wrong it was for Steven to be voted out - to be targeted even. Guess who she blames it on? Go ahead, guess. That's right - it's the Evil Evil Angie who Evilly wears the Evil Hat of Brian the Evil to Evilly taunt and torment. That same Evil, Evil Angie who "let" Steven take the fall for her the Evil web of evil she has Evilly spun throughout the house. But she is happy she won the HOH. She was so excited. Renny was so excited that she said she was excited, too. Bitchface smugly laughs her laugh of smugness saying that "it" (whatever "it" is) just keeps getting better and better. Even Manchelle is happy as the order of pre-ordained evictions have been going apace and will seemingly continue to go apace.

Keesha, though, could see the worry on everyone's face when she won the HOH - especially Evil, Evil Angie - the same Evil Evil Angie that bailed on Steven when he needed her the most and left all the pressure for saving him on Keesha.

Skippy lets that claim just pass by and we now have the opening comedy act of the evening - Dan, in the DR, claiming he threw the HOH comp. Dan, it's not throwing the comp if you don't know the answer to the question.

BB shows the post-HOH celebration where everyone is jumping up and down, congratulating Keesha, and looking happy. I detect nary a worried face.

Back in the DR again, Keesha claims as HOH she has all sorts of people coming out of the woodwork to be her friend but she isn't forgetting who was there for her before winning the key. BB then cuts to the Hippie Bedroom where Keesha waxes nostalgically about the glory days of hanging out with Steve, all of an hour or two before, and how he was her pressure release valve (while he was under pressure of elimination a snarky recapper might add). Keesha then says she doesn't know who to put up.

Libra, in the DR, cries out for Keesha to keep her "cujunes" and is worried that Keesha is sleeping with the enemy. The enemy? Jesus, it's only week three and we are calling out phantom alliances involving PeePaw, Dan, and Angie as the enemy? By week 8 anyone against Libra will probably be equated with Al-Queda.

BB then shows a secret stategery meeting with Jessie the Pinhead and Kentucky. Jessie says that Keesha has to understand that he trusts her. Kentucky tells Jessie the Pinhead that Jessie and himself are the only ones that Keesha does trust. Oh, Kentucky - it's so much simpler slinging drinks than figuring out the BB house, isn't it?

Next we have Keesha in the prissy bedroom as Libra dances in to celebrate Libra's, I mean Keesha's, victory. Libra is so excited she could cry and next week she has Keesha's back. I guess that's using the time honored BB strategy of assuming the win in next week's HOH because you have to have it. Libra leaves and then Keesha says "revenge". Hmmmmmm....is the game afoot?

Keesha then begins to show signs of the well knows HOH Reality Distortion Syndrome by claiming her HOH win is the house's worst nightmare and people should be worried. She holds people responsible for Steven leaving and she has some news for the Big Group - she gets to make the decision and she is changing the game. Woooooooooow...big talk Keesha...bet the people who were instrumental in getting Steven nominated are going to be in big trouble, right? Can't wait to see what happens next.

Unfortunately, it is the time on Sunday's Big Brother when we see the new HOH's room. Everyone acts (and I want to stress "acts") excited. Keesha is excited and the girls start screeching and screaming and cooing over all the pictures. Dan observes that of all the things in the room, Keesha is most excited about pictures of her dog Gizmo. (Gizmo? Stuck in the 80's much Keesha?) which Dan refers to as Keesha's baby.

I immediately wonder if Keesha's "baby" gets treated better than Libra's babies? Hmmmmmmm.

Anyway, everyone musters up a bunch of fake interest in someone else's life for the requisite time period required to make sure you don't become a surprise eviction nominee for disrespecting the HOH. Bitchface points out that Keesha has a letter in her HOH goodie basket and every one leaves to let Keesha read her letter in private except for Renny. Bitchface, stick her bitchy nose in with a bitchy observation that if she gets a letter she would want to read her own damn letter by her own damn self, but of course Renny stuck around. Primetime Skippy lays a BB edit smackdown on Bitchface's bitchiness by immediately showing Keesha asking Renny to stay while she reads the letter and, in voice-over, saying she chose to have Renny stay because Renny has always been there for her in the game and being the one person she has trusted from the beginning and still trusts right now. Keesha reads and cries...Renny comforts and talks about how she sees Keesha as a daughter figure in the house. Renny goes on to tell Keesha that she can't trust Libra and Keesha agrees. Renny goes on to say that Bitchface thinks she is running the house and she would stab Keesha in the back the first chance she got and before we get any further...

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

It's April coming up to the HOH. Primetime Skipster shows Renny in the DR bitching about April rushing up to the room to save her ass, says that April is all boobs and blonde hair and a major pain in the ass. Back in the HOH, Renny vacates the room leaving Keesha alone with April

Keesha starts complaining to April that it's so hard (shade of Dani Donato) to be HOH because she has to come up with nominees right away. Right away - you've got a whole day before nominations? April agrees with her how hard it is. Then Keesha says that she is not going with The Plan. April says she knows, she doesn't think she would either. April, in the DR, says that as soon as Keesha said she wasn't going with the plan then she knew that they had to go against the strongest players.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

in comes Bitchface

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

in comes Ollie

Keesha starts laying out the plan but before she does so she says she needs agreement that they are going to do it. She's putting up Angie and she wants Angie out. Keesha then tells them the "real" reason that she wants Angie out and it's a personal reason - Angie let Steven hang out to dry and didn't have his back. Furthermore, Angie would put them up in a heartbeat if she had the chance. April chimes in that Angie is a big threat to their group and she would put up Kentucky with Angie because he would vote to keep Angie.

The increasingly power-drunk Keesha, in the DR, talks about all of her options available to her including the option of putting up Bitchface and Bitchface doesn't even know she is a possible target.

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Kentucky is informed that Angie is going up. Kentucky says it's Keesha's decision but Angie would not have put up any of the Group of 8 - she would have stuck to the plan. Keesha says that Angie is a huge threat to her - a HUGE THREAT. Kentucky says that Angie would have put up Dan and Jerry and that there are a lot of people who are threats to a lot of people at this point

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

It's Renny with Angie at the door...they are dismissed without entry

Angie goes down to the sauna room where Jessie and Manchelle are hanging out. Jessie asks if she went to go in the HOH and didn't get in? Angie says yes and tells Manchelle and Jessie that they are grilling Kentucky right now. Angie lays out to Jessie and Manchelle that "they" (and "they" are LibrApril and Ollie) talk shit about Keesha and as soon as Keesha wins HOH they camp up there and tighten their grip on her to make her do what they say. It makes Angie sick, she tells them. In the DR, Angie says that it's obvious they were talking about her up in the HOH and that's why they wouldn't let her in.

Back in the HOH, Keesha continues her "Steven paid the price for Angie's deeds" argument. Kentucky says that Keesha is making it a bigger deal than it is, which Keesha denies. Kentucky then says that he wouldn't go gunning for someone that isn't targeting him right now. Keesha says she just wanted him to know where she is coming from and asks that he keep the conversation private (although Ollie, April and Libra are in the room when this goes on). Kentucky goes downstairs and informs Jessie the Pinhead and Manchelle immediately of the talk. They are all dismayed. Jessie wants to push the Libra angle. Kentucky says he doesn't know if it's for sure that Angie is going up but that Jessie should probably go talk to her but to make sure he doesn't tell her that they have talked.

Meanwhile, back up in the HOH, Keesha is busy building up votes. First up is Dan who she tells that she has saved for this week against the wishes of the house and asks for a free week if he wins HOH next week and his vote against Angie. Dan readily agrees and stresses his trustworthiness. Dan kisses ass and Keesha acts like they are natural allies.

Next up, it's Bitchface who Keesha calls out privately for constantly doubting her. Bitchface admits that she might have targeted Keesha's friendship with Steven. Keesha tells Bitchface that she needs to be careful with her mouth.

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Skippy, having grown tired of game talk, takes us to the Hippie Room where it's April, Libra, Manchelle, and Keesha speculating on the Food competition. April speculates about an "icky" eating comp in which they have to eat pigs feet.

Manchelle jumps in and begins to expound on the greatness of the spare parts of pigs such as feet. Manchelle says such things as pig's feet, ears, tripe, etc. are common in Portuguese cuisine and she loves them. She then begins to tell a ridiculous story about going to some Portuguese Pig festival in which they had a pair of pigs dressed as bride and groom and manipulated around as if they were dancing. To top it all off, Manchelle demonstrates the dance of the bridal pigs. It's wacky and worth checking out for a chuckle on youtube.

Keesha and April are grossed out by the idea of eating spare parts ot the pig. Keesha then asks if Manchelle realizes that the pig has the intelligence of a three year old child - which I guess would make the average pig smarter than the average houseguest. In any case, it seems that since the pig supposedly is as smart as a three year old that it's disgusting to eat them or to make their carcasses dance or both because Keesha seems to quite put out with the whole idea of it. April adds in that she won't mess with pigs because they are really really mean and they will eat you.

That's right - when it comes down to man eaters like Jaws or Hogzilla, I'll take my chances with Jaws every time. Pigs eat people, y'all.

In the end, the increasingly insufferable power-drunk Keesha pronounces that it sounds like that pigs NEED to be mean.

And now is the time for the food competition and gollie gee willikers, Wally is it a doozy of a competition set to a 50's sock hop theme. Let me set it up for you. There are two oversized spinning turntables in the backyard. On top of each turntable is a laundry hamper of socks (no one specifies if they are dirty or clean so I'm choosing to believe they are dirty and smelly because that's the way I roll). Separating the two turntables is a wall with 45 rpm singles on both sides. The records are located underneath various food categories and under each category are 9 records.

The Hammies are paired and each are sorting through the laundry basket of socks to find a match and place their half of the match under the same number record under the same food category. They can't see each other so they have to communicate by yelling to each other. Some pairs do pretty good - Jessie/Manchelle, Jerry/Bitchface, Memphis/Angie. Two couples suck - Ollie/April and Renny/Dan.

Ollie and April suck because April grabs a sock and starts shrilly screaming at Ollie to find the match. The longer it takes him to find the match, the more shrill and angry April becomes - claiming that he isn't listening to her. Dan comments that the two have the chemistry of the Honeymooners and he half expected Ollie to say "One of these days April, to the moon"

There is one particularly priceless moment as April and Ollie fail to get a match as time runs out and April throws down the sock she's holding in an angry pissy fit motion and exasperated screech that I had to re-run and watch with glee several times.

Renny and Dan suck because Dan can't hear Renny and Renny doesn't pay attention to anything anyone tries to tell her. She gets confused and flustered and just starts yelling out stuff to Dan who can't hear her and then switches off to something else. Even when they do manage to find a match - their inability to communicate results in them putting their socks in different locations on the wall. It doesn't help that once Renny gets confused, every other girl in the house decides to start screaming instructions at Renny at the same time - only further confusing Renny as to what's going on. Skippy adds to the fun by adding wacky circus music every time Renny is in the competition.....Oh that crazy aunt Renny, she's just like a 50's sitcom.

In the end - their accumulative efforts result in getting Beef, Chicken, Deli meats, Apples/Bannanas, Avocado/Corn, Squash/Broccoli, Cookies/Brownies, Beer, Juice, cereals, Pumpernickel, and (SURPRISE!) Pig's feet. Dan and Renny's failed effort would have resulted in wine which Renny laments not being able to get for the group.

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it's showmance time and BB spys in on our showmance partners, April and Ollie in the sauna room. April tells Ollie that she loves to read. Ollie tells April that the books he has become more "affiliated" with lately have been self-improvement books.

Ollie, I suggest your next "affiliated" self-improvement book be on English vocabulary.

April LOVES self-help books. She's read a lot of Co-Dependency No More and has done a lot of journaling. It's completely changed her life around - not that she would call it a miracle. She then tells Ollie she's always been very independent and doesn't need a boyfriend at all.

April, I suggest you borrow Ollie's vocabulary book and become affiliated with the definitions of "co-dependant", "independent", and "boyfriend".....then start seeing a therapist - frequently.

Ollie starts talking about how everyone always has things to work on to improve themselves..him, her, everyone...he has lots of stuff to work on...April wants to know what and tells him to open up to her...Ollie says he always thinks people are after him and people think he is paranoid...Ollie says you see signs - like a roadtrip on the highway and you see a "work ahead" sign. Do you just keep going into the work or do you find a detour? April says that has nothing to do with relationships. Ollies says yes it does and he always sees them and if he doesn't heed the "road construction" signs then he is going into trouble..April says there are "road construction signs and there are slow down signs and you have to know the difference between the signs...Skippy cuts in Ollie in a DR session saying that he sees red lights, yellow lights, road construction signs, bumpy road ahead, curves ahead (with a "if you know what I mean") but right now he sees Green lights with April.

I just wish I would have seen the "nonsensical and tortured metaphors/analogies ahead" sign before I tried to make sense of that conversation.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

April is up at the HOH room where Keesha lets her in and tells April that she doesn't like being by herself.

Bitch, the first half of this show was about you bitching about everyone trying to get into your ear and acting like they were your friend and not leaving you alone for a second and then, one day later, your whining about not liking being alone?

Anyway, Keesha and April start talking about nominations. Keesha doesn't know who to put up beside Angie. April again suggests Kentucky. April says that Kentucky has already won the car and the car is worth 50,000 dollars. That's like finish second place already. It's not fair for him to be able to win the 50,000 for second place on top of that - then he could win 100,000 dollars. That money is THEIR money. Besides, April says that Keesha can tell him that he isn't the target - Angie is. Keesha is still afraid to put up Kentucky.

Next up, Keesha calls in Jessie to the HOH. Keesha tells Jessie that she is putting up Angie. Keesha wants a promise that Jessie will vote out Angie. Jessie wants to know how she knows that Angie is coming after her. Keesha says she just knows. Jessie then says that Angie hasn't won anything and he thought that Steven, Angie, and Keesha were all close. Angie shakes her head no. Jessie then says if your going to change things up then you need to put up the people you KNOW are coming after you, like Bitchface. Jessie goes on to count the votes to show her that Bitchface would go out easy if Keesha put her up. Keesha knows that everyone wants Bitchface out, that's why she isn't putting her up against Angie. Jessie says Keesha should put up Bitchface and Dan then

I'm not sure how that is supposed to help when she just said that she won't put up Bitchface because everyone wants Bitchface out.

Keesha is shaking her head while Jessie is talking but she's not making direct eye contact.

In DR, teary power-drunk Keesha engages in some hyperbole by saying that she knows what she is going to do and when she does the "other side" is going to be shocked....shocked I tell ya!

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It's the standard HOH boiler plate speech from Keesha about how nominations work. After ten years you would think BB had enough faith in the audience that they didn't have to repeat the obvious over and over again.

Pre-nomination DR talk:

Kentucky: targeting Angie is targeting me

Angie: I'm a target but I hope Keesha thinks there are bigger targets than me

Jessie: I'm pretty safe..she can put up Dan for the house and Libra for herself

Bitchface: I'm loyal but I can be a bitch and I hope that Keesha doesn't hold it against me

Keesha: I want the two people I nominate out of the house...the houseguest will be sorry they messed with me (who messed with her?) and I believe they don't even see this coming.

Nomination Ceremony:

Keesha, teary yet again, says she had a hard time and doesn't feel like she has two enemies but she HAS to do this

Dan's key out first
Renny
April
Kentucky
Ollie
Bitchface
PeePaw
Manchelle


Keesha says she nominated Angie because Angie put a target on Keesha's back talking to her about saving Brian (hmmm...kinda like the one you wanted to put on Angie to help you save Steven?) and it's not fair that Steven took the whole brunt of everything and Angie just feel through.

Keesha says she nominated Jessie because he is a huge threat and he sent one of her very good friends out of the house last week

to be fair, he only made the nomination while everyone else, including you Keesha, actually voted Steven out.

Post nomination DR:

Dan: It's my coming out party...laying low, being week, being loyal, etc all paid off and I'm finally safe for a week

Angie: It's not over yet

Keesha: I nominated Jessie because he was arrogant and full of himself. Am I not the HOH

wow.."Am I not the HOH"....potKeesha meet kettleJessie

Manchelle: Keesha opened a can of worms and it's on like DonkeyKong

you know what...that one is so embarrassing on it's own I won't even dignify it with snark

Jessie: Come on Keesha. Really? Really? See ya at the competition, hope you lose