I confess that despite my excitement over an extra BB season, I have found very little time for the current crop of hamsters. Work, broken computer, and regular life stuff that I generally try to ignore in favor of BB have refused to be denied the past few weeks. I’m just starting to catch up on the goings-on inside the house, so please forgive me if I recap with all the naiveté and wide-eyed innocence of a young Amanda. In fact, feel free to do the voice in your heads as you read. So here we go:

Tuesday, March 4:

We’re treated to a rehash of lesbogate and the vote switch that Allison and Ryan caused last week, saving Matt and Natalie. Joshuah is said to feel bullied by The Big Switch and apparently we’re to believe that’s the reason for his rages. He’s not really unstable or a pissy little bitch. We get more rehash cakes, Allison’s attempt to cozy up to anyone who might help save her, and the nominations (Matt/Natalie and Ryan/Allison). Who will win the Power of Veto and will they use it?

Matt and Natalie’s relationship is explored. BB Announcer says it’s “one step forward, two steps back.” I wonder which direction a blow job goes. For her part, Natatas sounds fairly reasonable when she DRs about her confusion over Matt’s schizophrenia. If you just heard her and didn’t see her continue to chase the guy, you might think she was sane and/or had a modicum of self-respect.

Joshuah and Sharon both pat Joshuah on the back fat for his nomination speech. He didn’t attack Allison. He stayed calm and factual.

Everyone is assured that Allison is the target this week. Matt is confident, but feels it’s “imperative” that he stay in the house. Imperative for whom he does not say. He DRs that he is not to be messed with. Heh.

Chelsia really wants Matt and Natalie gone. Adam is so surprised that he has again escaped nomination that his eyes threaten to pop out of his head. Sheila says the thanks go to Allison for being a worse human being than either she or Adam are, thus allowing herself and Adam to fly under the radar for the time being.

James and Chelsia talk massages. Natatas is there and all over that and Mattie cringes. We see some more clips of Natatas throwing herself at Matt and more rejection by Mattie, who DR’s that he just doesn’t know what to do. I guess his previous strategy of treating Natalie like a receptacle for his skeet didn’t adequately convey that “No, thank you” message.

Natalie, denied again by Matt, turns to Allison for some strategy talk – whichever couple wins POV will take themselves off the block and then campaign for the couple left on the block. Allison reminds Natalie, and Natalie later affirms in DR, that Matt and Natalie owe Allison and Ryan for saving their worthless hides last week. Allison also tries to stir up some more ish by suggesting to Natalie that the two of them should stick together all week, have fun, and laugh a lot to drive Joshuah and Sharon crazy. Diabolical, that one.

The POV playas are HOH Joshuah/Sharon, noms Allison/Ryan and Matt/Natalie, and randomly selected Sheila/Adam. Cuh-ray-zee James will host.

The Veto competition is some Cupid-themed affair with both partners connected by a pulley system. One partner moves along the ground to retrieve puzzle pieces and bring them to platform where the other partner waits. As the player on the ground moves back and forth, the platform player is hoisted up in the air and lowered. All the anatomical males are on the ground, while the females wear Victoria’s Secret-style wings and get raised up to assemble a puzzle in the air. The final step after the puzzle is completed is for the airborne partner to take an arrow and plunge it into a heart suspended near the puzzle.

Teamwork definitely counts in this one, and Natalie has the game figured out quickly. She instructs Matt in his movements and they work well together. Allison also figures out both the coordinated movements needed and the puzzle, but elects to emit ear-splitting shrieks at Ryan. Still, Allison is close to the victory, but Natatas beats her to the heart and wins.

Chelsia is pissed, Sharon is frustrated, Adam and Sheila are resigned to their fate and bicker about each other’s hatefulness, and Natalie is ecstatic. Because she won the POV, you ask? Sadly, no. Natalie is ecstatic because she pleased her partner (heh) and that’s the best reward she could have. Matt is happy and would likely agree that pleasing him is the best thing that could happen for Natatas, but poor Mattie is apprehensive at the same time, as he knows he’ll be expected to put out. Allison feels… eh, who cares.

We get some of Matt’s game strategy ~ he is all things to all people in the house. He sets out to appeal to Josh’s gay side and it’s totally intentional, y’all. Then it’s on to Allison. For her, Matt has a shoulder to cry on. Allison obliges. Ryan gets some straight-up good old-fashioned man on man friendship.

Sheila has her bitch-face on and throws some nasty attitude at Adam while James snickers. Adam brings Sheila down. Adam calls Sheila a man-hater (and I cheer). Sheila says she doesn’t hate men, she just hates almost every thing they do, think, or say. She DRs that she and Adam are like an old married couple ~ sometimes she loves him and other times she can’t stomach him.

Sheila bitches some more at Adam, but not getting the response she wants, she starts talking to the wall. The wall answers in Adam’s voice, telling Sheila to give Adam a break. Adam handled the whole thing surprisingly well, showing some humor and more tolerance for Sheila’s almost palpable hostility than I would have expected.

Matt visits Sharon in the HOH to “charm” her. Natalie comes looking for Matt and Sharon sends him into the bathroom to hide. When Natalie leaves, Matt and Sharon laugh and Matt asks Sharon if he’s a bad person for not being attracted to Natalie. Sharon tells him he’s just honest and there is some awkward, scripted flirting. Mattie literally lunges at Sharon in the HOH bed and subjects her to some awkward, tight-lipped kissing. Apparently proud of this display and the fact that Sharon was able to suppress her revulsion for the cameras, Matt later crows about working her. Sharon later recounts the episode for Joshuah, equally proud of working Matt.

Natalie tracks Matt to the HOH, accuses him of hiding from her, and asks about that massage again. Matt caves in and says, “Maybe later or tomorrow,” and leaves. Score! Natalie tells Sharon that Mattie pushes her away because he is just too turned on by her.

Awww, Natatas is down in the dumps. Matt takes her aside for a talk. She asks him why he’s so mean to her when she just wants them to get to know each other. Matt apologizes, then turns on that so-called charm he mentioned earlier, telling Natalie, “You’re my boy.” Heh. Natalie, somewhat surprisingly, does not take this as a sign that he loves her. Mattie quickly backpedals and says he means they’re friends. Natalie continues telling him he’s mean and he agrees. Natalie elicits a promise from Mattie that they can get to know each other as friends and Natalie begins planning her trousseau.

Allison and Joshuah talk about why Joshuah hates Allison so much. Turns out it’s because she’s a gossip, a liar, and a manipulator. Allison does that really grating thing she does where she tries to nitpick something that’s already been said as clearly as it can be said. But whyyy? Joshuah wisely and smugly walks away.

BB has left a note for the hammies. Sharon reads it to the gathered houseguests. When they hear what sounds like a 1960s sci-fi movie ray-gun, they’re to gather in the living room immediately and wait for an announcement. Expect the unexpected and all. Much speculation ensues, but I don’t care enough to rewind and detail the hammies thoughts on the matter. Allison DRs that she hopes it helps her, as she’s “between a Josh and a hard place.” The Skippy who wrote that one for her should be fired.

Joshuah makes some odd comments about girding his love handles for battle as he prepares for the veto ceremony. The ceremony is held and Matt and Natalie take themselves off the block. With little fanfare, Joshuah and Sharon put up Adam and Sheila. Adam DRs that it was the right thing for Joshuah and Sharon to do, but if they stab him in the back, then he’s going to freak out on them. I look forward to it.

Who will be evicted? Who will be the next HOH? And what’s the deal with the ray gun? Find out live! tomorrow.


Edited because it was easier for me to edit the recaplet than to start from scratch.