One last drive-by before I'm outtie, too.

F1: Dick, who sucks, talking about Coolio. The rapper, not the HTer.

Here is where I would insert a joke about Eric being Gay. But I feel I must make a sincere apology to all of the gay men of the Earth. I kept looking for the right word for squeeky-voiced-ass-licking-girly-boy who is afraid to see even part of a woman's breast and who looks better in a dress than the original female owner and who annoys the ever loving shit out of me every time he talks -- which is constantly. That was a run on sentance in much the same vein as Eric's non-stop bash babble. That's not gay. Whatever his sexual leanings they clearly don't drift toward anything human. No. I was wrong to use the word gay and I am so very sorry that I used it.

What he is, is fucked in the head by rabid bats. If anyone has a shorter version of that - that's the word I need.

bwahahahaha!!!


moved from the screencap thread because Jasi asked so sweetly. Plus, it's my job and stuff. ~tooletta

Yay for Cindy, who not only posted in the highlights thread for us, but has an excellent avatar!

Cool shot of Amber, face down in the bed. Her mic, clasped on to the back of her baggy sweats, has settled in to her but crack, nestled between her mounds of backfat. Her boyfriend in Vegas just headed to Tiffany's for a two-carat rock.

Rick the Dick is sporting his usual apparel choice of black "band" t-shirt and raggedy jeans.

Lately there has been a little too much "You people..." and "This board thinks..." happening recently. Please avoid those sweeping generalizations that cause undue anxiety and the taint of insult to other HTers, no matter which side of the spectrum they fall under.

We love ALL HTers. Those that love DICK! and those that hate him, or those that hate/love Jen, Dani, Eric, etc. We want to remind everyone to love your fellow HTer, even if you think their opinion is the dumbest thing since Booger proposed to Krusta on national TV.

Remember: We're all in this quagmire together, at least until September 18th.

Jess says "Now everyone is going to see Diva". Reflexively I pop to the bottom of Hamstertime.net looking for signs of The Enemy. No doubt she is heading my way for my Unam1ous recap.

Ambore again says she looks 6 months pregnant, Is she trying to get Jam to pay for her third fake abortion?

1:30 am HT
He says he thinks he's the most hated person in the house right now. "More than Dick?" she asks incredulously. ("What's incredulously?" Amber mumbles in her sleep somewhere downstairs.)

I was cranky because I can't sleep and then I read this. Thanks for the laugh!

ETA my appreciaton for this:


Thanks to Buntsign for recapping last night and for this gem:

Dick accuses Jen of stealing ther precious quarter (well she dooes look a little Chinese)

I should abstain from this poll as the acronym NOW is in the title. However, I voted for DICK! because I can.

Dick accuses Jen of stealing ther precious quarter (well she dooes look a little Chinese) but no-the item in question is still right fucking there.

I voted for Gary. I wrote the name "Gary" on my monitor with a sharpie, scribbled in a little button, and clicked on that. Gary for the win!

Of course, now my monitor is fucked, but, you know, better than voting for one of these other asshats.

I voted for Gary. I wrote the name "Gary" on my monitor with a sharpie, scribbled in a little button, and clicked on that. Gary for the win!

Of course, now my monitor is fucked, but, you know, better than voting for one of these other asshats.

Zach heads off to Wal-Mart to return his defective Eric doll. It won't stop talking.


Heh. Zach heads off...
Ha, I crack myself up again.

Has anyone ever seen the Spongebob episode where Squidward is trying to round up the gang to become a marching band so he can vanquish his old nemesis, Squilliam? He says something about when you're not smart/qualified/good (whichever word) but want everyone to think you are, just do it LOUD. And Plankton yells, "THAT IS CORRECT!" That's what Eric reminds me of when talking to Julie. Either that, or on Fairly Oddparents when Cosmo says he heard something about helping your memory by yelling things, and he screams, "I LIKE PIE!"'

ERIC LIKES PIE, y'all! THAT IS CORRECT!

(Forgive the cartoon references. I have an elementary schooler in the house, woop woop, holla!)

The Eric's Balls Show (featuring Zach in a Unitard Which Will Be Sadly Ignored to His Regret) quickly breaks down.

Eric says he's stupid about the HoH questions, he's "retarded." Most/many "retarded" people have empathy overload, in leiu of egomania. So actually, Eric, the Special Olympics bocce ball team from Arkansas would have kicked your ass in the HoH competition this week. Fuckwit

Joy. They're back and Eric is talking about how much it must suck to be a woman. Well, yes, Eric. With men like you in the dating pool, it's pretty fucking unfair.

Joy. They're back and Eric is talking about how much it must suck to be a woman. Well, yes, Eric. With men like you in the dating pool, it's pretty fucking unfair.

She taunts Amber that she is screwed with no alliance. (laughs) It's very funny. I laughed. Because .. I hate all of them and now they are eating each other like hermit crabs do when they've got nothing else to do on a saturday afternoon. Good times.

Fist punch to the air. Go SOAP BUBBLE!!!!! You fucking RAWK!!

Apparently Jameka's hair has gone to bed because she has it wrapped up in some sort of bandana doo-rag thing. Rather then wake it up to have a converstion with she has choosen to talk to her clothes today because they are awake. Serioiusly she has been discussing things with her new clothing for the past 20 - 30 minutes. I don't know if it is strategy or not because there is a lot of mumbling and half finished sentences. Jen's name has not been mentioned so Jam and her clothing are not Jen bashing, I can assure you of that. It has become a more of a fashion show/interview/a little bit of scolding so as I mentioned earlier, I believe it is safe to say that she is not discussing strategy with her clothing.

The back of the shirt appears to have some sort of Cat emboidered on the back. The cat appears to be smoking green beans but I could be mistaken. In keeping with the usual grubby look, Dick wears this lovely ensemble along with jeans with the stupid ass bandana hanging out of the back pocket.

Why, you ask, does Ronnieroller continually provide us with a commentary on the outfits of the house guests. I do so because there are only so many ways for me to recap the Donatos ripping on the other houseguests. And why does Dick keep saying "my eye" and rubbing at it? Did he accidently walk in while Amber was changing or something. If that were the case, it's too bad Jen used the bleach on Dick's cigarettes when we have and actual medical emergency.

Or dear lord Dick actually sprinted across the back yard. He put the meat on the Barbeque and ran across the yard back into the house. Like a girl, he looked like a girl when he ran. That's it he's gay.

Dick is just about done with his cooking. Oh I get why he ran across the backyard. He's the Galloping Gourmet. That's it...Gay

I know, I'm starting to sound like a broken record. I hereby submit my application for the Ronnieroller fan club.

Skippy then switched to Zach, walking on the treadmill. It's either a female or gay Skippy tonight (I make no judgement!)...pervs in on Zach's sneakers, and works his/her way slooooowly up Zachs body.

Abruptly, my bunny dreams end

Amber out of WC, and Skippy follows her around. Through the wee room (Dani - Are you OK? Amber - I'm fine), to the tall bed where she Bible reads. Cmon Skip, show me the passage, you know you want to...you did it for Kail...

Nah, just words on a page. Amber looks confuzzled. Ah, she has Kail's big ass bible, with all the references (ie, look up a word, such as "demon," and the bible helpfully refers you to a page). This system is entirely lost on Amber, she just thumbs through it like last week's Enquirer.

What the hell is Dick making? Is that possible? Garlic, condensed cream of mushroom soup, and chopped up, cooked, roast beef? Is this BB - Prison Edition? They'll spoon it over Wonder Bread and call it dinner.

Dani: You're asking me to make spaghetti?? Dani it's fucking pasta. You sit over the damn pot, stir to make sure it does not stick and make sure it does not overflow.

Maybe she should have started out slowly. Something like toast.

Wow, Jess just busted out "Social Darwinism" in a conversation about seals getting eaten. The other hamsters are in awe of her smartatude.

Or dear lord Dick actually sprinted across the back yard. He put the meat on the Barbeque and ran across the yard back into the house. Like a girl, he looked like a girl when he ran. That's it he's gay.

Dick is just about done with his cooking. Oh I get why he ran across the backyard. He's the Galloping Gourmet. That's it...Gay

Zach summered in the Hamptons where he would spend his time combing the beaches to find cans he could take to the A&P and get a nickel a piece for. Yup-that is egg-zachly how I would picture him spending his summers.

[...]

Dick annnounces supper time. Supper time, supper time, sup sup sup supper time!
*Snoopy Dance*

Oh I didn't realize Zach was in the Kitchen with Jess Eric and Dani. I shall concentrate on everything he says.















and we're done. Oh no wait a minute







there finished

Zach and Jessica are having a very serious "conversation" in the HOH room

Although I would use the term conversation loosly in this sense.
I consider a conversation to be a verbal interaction between two people.

Not one person droning at a blonde bobble head doll.


Zach, she's an inanimate object . . she can't hear you

Oh, look at all the quality recappers . . i'm so envious

because I am a low quality knock off . . I cannot resist posting this little story from earlier . .




Jessica " Er-ic, I bent over to pick up the cup, and I just felt all
the noodles and beer rise in my throat. But I didn't throw up. But it was
the most digusting thing ev-er!"

Eric "I think it's sexy"


. . .

Oh FUCK!

Zach just said "From one man to another" to FuckedInTheHeadByRabidBats.
That's like - the equivalent of dropping to his knees and searching for FuckedInTheHeadByRabidBats' miniscule dick for felatio.

Unfortunately it would seem of late that a good percentage of this sites updates are becoming as bigoted, biased and disgusting as the very subjects they claim to be so upset about while updating.

So much for the originality one might have been enjoying in recent weeks passed.

Kudos to those that continue to keep it fresh and enjoyable, to the others however, I trust you are enjoying ruining the overall experience.

Jameka isn't familiar with the word "avidly". JessErica school her on the word.

Good lord!! Can I make these posts any loooonger?!!? Gaaaawwwdddd!
"Who dooeeesss that???"

ETA: Gawd.....can I make any more tyyypppooosss???

Eric describes himself as a "progressive sort of thing" Well so is end stage leukemia, but I don't know that I'd want to date it.

Also, isn't rubbing your hands on metal/stainless steel supposed to eliminate funky smells?
Can we rub Dick on the sink, BB? Can we, please?!

Thanks for jumping in and helping with the highlights, Cindy. I really appreciate your work. I'm guessing that demgirl and chrysana also enjoy some time off.

Much love to ALL the live feed recappers, broadcast recappers and highlighters, and a huge THANKS to everyone who has taken the time to say kind things about my recaps.

Fuckers. I KNEW I had a good reason to hate them.

Skippy briefly put one feed on Zach to tease his fans and then we are back to the cat haters talking about shaving.

They really interact as friends interact. Jess is young and gets caught up in attraction, I am sure. Eric should know better and just stop forcing it. Oh Eric, is there a prize for being off the Kinsey scale entirely? If you do have an X factor, it is the Kinsey X factor (asexual). However, having known an asexual or two in my life, I don't want to denigrate them by stuffing you into their definition. I declare you Ericsexual.

Ericsexual

eric·sex·u·al /err-ickˈsɛkʃuəl/ Pronunciation Key
–adjective
1. Biology.
a. having sexual organs but more than ambivalence, potentially active aversion to, their use.
b. an aversion to sexual processes, esp. involving the union of male or female.
2. adopting automaton-like references and responses to constructions, descriptions or situations of sexuality in order to curb the sex drive of these around or/near the ericsexual.
3. a being who attempts to assuage any hint of sexual innuendo or flirtation with a deluge of robot-like, staccato words and sentences whose principal aim is to quell libidinous impulses.

—Related forms
eric·sex·u·al·i·ty /errickˌsɛkʃuˈælɪti/
eric·sex·u·al·ly, adverb

Oh Eric, is there a prize for being off the Kinsey scale entirely? If you do have an X factor, it is the Kinsey X factor (asexual). However, having known an asexual or two in my life, I don't want to denigrate them by stuffing you into their definition. I declare you Ericsexual.

Ericsexual

eric·sex·u·al /err-ickˈsɛkʃuəl/ Pronunciation Key
–adjective
1. Biology.
a. having sexual organs but more than ambivalence, potentially active aversion to, their use.
b. an aversion to sexual processes, esp. involving the union of male or female.
2. adopting automaton-like references and responses to constructions, descriptions or situations of sexuality in order to curb the sex drive of these around or/near the ericsexual.
3. a being who attempts to assuage any hint of sexual innuendo or flirtation with a deluge of robot-like, staccato words and sentences whose principal aim is to quell libidinous impulses.

—Related forms
eric·sex·u·al·i·ty /errickˌsɛkʃuˈælɪti/
eric·sex·u·al·ly, adverb

Solidarity Fisty Bop with mewmom30. If you don't want your post moved edit it to add the following.

"Skippy switches us to Wamber who is primping in the bathroom. She is wearing the new yellow tunic that makes her breasts look saggy sad."

Jamesus: I get the front wedgie sometimes. (Wearing her khaki shorts.)
Front wedgie.
FRONT WEDGIE?
Hee.