Woot! Welcome back, everyone!

This thread is where our fabulous recappers report every little thing that goes on in the BB house. Better yet, this is where our fabulous recappers insert their own commentary, share random details from their own lives (leaving out names of real people, of course!), and in some cases, stalk zombies.

Everyone is encouraged to recap. It’s an ugly job, but a necessary one if we want to document all the Hammies’ atrocities so that they can be properly mocked by the masses. If you’re new to recapping, please check out our Tips for Recapping thread as well as the threads in the Welcome to HT section.

Now, here’s where I get bossy! (I like this part.)

This thread will be locked until after the July 5th premiere has been broadcast (approximately 9 p.m. ET). After the show airs, the thread will be opened as we breathlessly wait for the feeds to fire up. Please don’t post over and over in this thread that the feeds are still showing fire (or fish, or whatever Skippy taunts us with this season...I'll use FIRE as an example). Those who don’t have the feeds are going to be refreshing the thread over and over to look for new posts, and finding yet another post saying “Still FIRE” is disappointing and annoying.

New (well, revised) rule! Please limit the “still FIRE” posts to one every 15 minutes. That’s right, it was 10 minutes last season, but it’s 15 now. The reason for this is that whenever a new post is placed in the thread, the “new post” indicator blings on, and a bazillion readers all check the thread to see what was posted. Remember when the board tanked that one time last season? Our goal is to not let that tragedy happen again, and we think small changes like this will help. So, check the time on the last FIRE post before you post. If it hasn’t been 15 minutes since that post went up, and we're still on FIRE, please refrain from posting another “FIRE” post. Posts in violation may suddenly go “poof”, and Fisty will get cranky and start eyeballing the ban button!

OMG! OMG! OMG!

I get to be first... FOTH

(water)

I promise not to post again until they're live.

Feeds wont be on until the show has shown in pacific time, so there is no point in adding anything to this recap until 11pm eastern, 10pm central, or 8pm pacific. Hamsters are no fun until then.

Let's post only recap posts in this thread, please. I do agree, however, that there is no need for additional posts until the feeds actually start up.

Feeds on!!

We're up!!! Carol and Amber talking in the large BR. Carol or Amber said something about "i havent even gotten to wear all of my clothes yet." and then something to the effect that "i'm just trying to make light of the situation."

It sounds like Carol is nominated...a girl was talking about how she was trying to make light of the situation and joking about not being able to leave yet because she has cute clothes to wear, and someone called her "Carol", and she responded in the affirmative.

Showtime is also showing the feeds now. They are out at the hot tub and about 30 seconds ahead of the internet. It looks like Nick, Jen, Daniele and some others at the hot tub. I'm still learning names.

Edit: Feed 3 appears to be what Showtime is currently showing.

Hammies in the hot tub. Hammies in the kitchen. Some things never change.

Jameka and Joe in the kitchen.

C-O_O-K-I-N-G.

Jameka: "Pie would be good right now."

It's funny because it's true.

Who is the chick in the itty bitty blue bikini? Dark hair. Why she is even bothering to wear a suit is beyond me. The girl is leaving nothing to the imagination.

Oh, the hamsters have a gym already. Going in for a closer look.

And, we go to the blue tide. Skippy! Don't start with me!

Some asshat in the pool started singing "working my way back to you" and we got The Hole. I think it was Zach, but at this point who's gonna know, right?

My first recap of the season. My first Hole.

*sniff*

carol and amber noms. what the fuck.

Amber & Carol are up - gym talk

sounds like Amber and Carol are on the block from the conversation on F2 with Carol and someone on the sex machine.

They've appeared to move over to the pool. Skippy gives us many shots of Jen in her bikini. Her ass seems to be swallowing her bottoms. Someone sings "Working my way back to you babe" and BB warns them to stop singing. Now riveting conversation about previous singing escapades.

Nick is in the pool as Skippy appeases everyone by going back and forth between Jen and her chest and Nick and his chest. What is that tatoo on his arm? I think our guy Eric is also in the pool.

Edit: When someone was singing on Showtime, there was no Hole, it stayed on.

Carol and Dustin in the gym. Carol talking about votes to stay in the game, saying that "I know you are voting for Amber to stay" and he is being honest and agreeing. why the fuck is Jen not on the mac?!

Carol and Amber are probably the ones on the macaroni. Carol and Dustin are in the workout room talking about how Carol isn't going to campaign and how the six involved in the twist don't have an alliance.

Oooh! It starts already!

Edited to add: Veto comp tomorrow

Dustin and Carol are sweating and strat talking in the gym.

Dustin and Carol talking in the gym on feed 2. Dustin tells Carol that Amber has his vote.

Amber and Carol have been nominated by Kali, the first HOH.

Dustin is exercising and explaining to Carol that Amber has his vote. He hit it off with her right away. They discuss the same old strategy surrounding the veto. Dustin says that if Amber wins the veto he'll save Carol no matter who goes up against her.

Ok, we can all log off for the night.

Dustin and Carol in WR room, Dustin says Joe's trying to put something together; Carol says she doesn't know anything about it-- Carol says she's not campaigning-- apparently she's on the chopping block--

Carol says she and Jessica are kind of doing better, but they're not doing well-- wormhole for a second-- back, and Carol says 'I know you want to save Amber'-- sounds like it's Carol and Amber--

Dustin says Amber would have his vote against Carol, but he hates that it has to be that way. Carol says if Joe helps to save her, she would help him later. Carol says she's not a conniving person. Dustin says he's the same way, but they don't know if Dustin even has a vote (?)

Carol says there's veto tomorrow, Dustin says that could switch things up-- Dustin says if Amber wins veto, Dustin would vote to save Carol, no matter what.

Now they're saying that Kail puts up a third person after POV.

It’s SHOWTIME!

Joe and Carol in the workout room.

Carol is saying that she is not campaigning which leads me to believe that she is on the mac. Carol is also saying that she knows that she knows that Joe wants to save Amber which leads me to believe that Amber is the other nominee.

Carol and Jessica seem to be doing better.

Joe and Dustin, not so much. Apparently, Carol feels that Dustin is trying to get gather votes for her.

Joe has apparently formed a bond with Amber and has his vote. Carol is very understanding.

ETA: Replace Joe with Dustin.

Carol talking about what she's given up to play in this game - postponing education.... etc etc.

wanted to go home in the first hour after being nominated, didn't want to fight amber for the vote... dustin being supportive and saying that she just needs to fight for veto.

Carol is hispanic.
Repeat, Carol has announced that she is hispanic.
She was explaining how much she gave up to be here, how she had to write apology letters to the Kansas City Chiefs.

Carol keeps talking about 'the six' and an allignment. Talk of domination and daddy issues.

carol: i love daniele, i love that girl.

she follows that by saying she thinks that Dick will be the next to "go down".

edited to add Dustin and Daniele are apparently bedmates.

and Amber is "carol's girl".

The outside hammies are trying to organize some sort of ball game in the yard and pool. Joe (who is in a striped towel) and Kail are in the kitchen, chit chatting.

I was trying to watch Showtime After Dark, but man, they won't get off the pool! So I come up here to see if there's something better, and sure enough, there's a nice convo between Dustin and Carol in the exercise room--they're talking about how the six enemy pairs could dominate the house, if they got their act together, but there are too many trust issues. *Sob*

While in the BY, I got the opportunity to see the back of Jen's bikini. If you haven't seen it yet, up, picture the scene in Star Wars where Luke's watching the twin suns set...

Amber and Dustin are apparently bed buddies. But Amber is also beloved of Carol. But Carol doesn't have a "guy" watching her back. Dustin says Zack is setting up his chessboard, and you have to beware he's setting up his own game.

Sounds like Amber's a nominee.

Carol says she knows Dustin wants to keep Amber there. But asks him only not to fight against her. Dustin says she'll never campaign against her, so yeah, Carol and Amber are the nominees. Carol says she clicked with Amber immediately, and that never happens, of course! Never, ever! So it's so awful she's nominated against her.

Dude really needs to stop singing.

On feed 4, Zach and Amber stand and watch Jameka do her thang with the putter.

I just heard Skippy!


The director decides that I'd rather watch Jess work on her foot, which is on the bar inside. Gross.

Joe and Kail are in there, talking about how fun the house is and how little strategizing really goes on. And how Joe loooves the giant spoons. Aaaanndd how he's over the hump....

I'm tired of listening to him already.

Dustin says they've got serious Daddy issues (re: dominating the house with an alliance and the Daniele/DICK! situation). Carol says she likes Daniele. Dustbin keeps saying over and over again that he called Carol in to clarify to her that he would be voting to keep Amber. Carol keeps saying she knows. Carol says she loves Amber. She doesn't know if she has that one boy that will be there for her. Carol only asks that Dustbin not fight against her; he says no, he would never. Carol asks if Amber loves her as much as she says she does, Dustbin says yes, she does, and Carol is so relieved. She thinks Amber is so great.

That's the way this conversation is going. Yep.

Ugh. These edumacated hammies are thinking about tasting paint. They want to know if it is edible.

Verdict is in. It is cherry flavorted. Body paint! Joe is happy.

Joe and Blonde Girl (Jessica?) are tasting body paint. good lord, are they on slop and already desperate?

There seems to be something about a "six thing." From what I can tell, someone, somewhere has proposed an alliance between the 3 enemy pairings. From what I can tell, it just may be one of the non-enemy folk's paranoia. Right now, it seems to be a lot of bullshit, but it's something that may be interesting in the near future.

Oh, and Carol loves Amber. Carol loves Dustin. Carol loves Joe. Apparently, Carol loves everyone. But she does seem quite nice.

God, I hope there is some hate out there to be found. I don't think I can stand a summer of love.

Massive flea dip in the hot tub. What is the capacity on that thing anyway?

Let's see, Showtime takes us back to the hot tub. We've got Nick the (not so) Quick, Joe (I think, he's the lipless one, right?), Daniele, Jen a couple others, can't tell you. They aren't talking about anything important. Sounds like the convo has switched to body paint. Jen is dominating the convo. I think Eric is in there also.

There is now a massive debate over whether eating the edible body paint will get them in trouble. I suppose there has been a food comp. and Joe and 5 bucks can't eat. Debate spills over to hot tub.

Is it me, or is Daniele Skeletor II?

Dustin gets my first Virtual Slap of the year, for using the term "it makes Great TV!" He's talking to Carol about their past enmity, and he and Joe, too. At least he didn't say "Good TV."

Carol thinks her and Jessica's story is dull. They've talked a little. She thinks they could have done better getting real enemies. I agree. Seriously. $5 dollars? Whatev.

From what I can tell, Joe is the one that mentioned the "six thing" to Dustin (?). I guess they're speaking to each other now.

Carol and Dustin are dissing BB, saying they could have done better at picking enemies. Apparently, there has some been kissy kissy, make-up sessions along the way. Man. I hate that! :-/

Meta talk in the workout room with Dustin and Carol. Dustin gives props to the producers for getting him and Joe. "It's good tv."

Carol wishes they had gotten two girls with a better backstory than her and the 5 dollars.

Carol ate all the Raisin Bran. Dustbin says there's Corn Flakes. Carol needs her fruity cereal. She's dying without it now.

Carol's having trouble running 1 mile without stopping, when she used to be able to run 2 miles without stopping. Dustbin says he used to be able to run 4 miles. Carol ignores him.

Dustbin says he's glad Carol and Jessica are getting along better. Dustbin says all Carol's little high school friends are saying 'oh hell no' because of the show premiering tonight. Dustbin says them not talking for so long is what makes for great TV-- um, no, it didn't. Dustbin thinks it's awesome. And he thinks he and Joe made great TV. He's a tool.

Carol intelligently points out that she felt they could have found two girls that hated each other more, or for better reason, or in a more interesting way (that last one was me) than Carol and Jessica.

Dustin and Carol are talkin' cereal now. I didn't bother to listen to details because we have their bios.

Carol has a nice body; she is wearing lime green shorts and a black top and doing various stretching moves half-heartedly while Dustin exercises. My brain is already turning the inane conversation into one long hummmmmmm.

Carol is complaining about how dull the girls are, no catfights; Pot! meet Kettle! Start something, girl! Stop hanging around the safe gay guy, go mix with Mike, or Zach, or ((shudder)) Dick.

OH, weird! Skippy just panned over to Eric real quick and at first glance, he looked like Hurricane Howie! Ah, memories.

When she shrugs her shoulders up, she looks like a monkey.

Still at the hot tub, I think Mike is out there also, although it could be Zach, or maybe both. I can't tell the difference between them. Everyone is talking over each other. Eric seems to have a foul mouth.

I think that some of the hamsters are on slop already. They were using a slop bucket as part of their golf game and I heard someone talking about condiments. Yeah, that will make it taste better.

Nothing much is going on at the pool, Joe is babbling about juice and we keep getting shots of Nick's hot pink fingernails.

Oh here I am, and Dustin am so clever. He says they feel like hamsters already.

Hi hammies! Want some seeds?

Dustbin is a plant - or not - but he did just say "we are like hamsters in here"

And now he admires his tummy and wishes for rippling muscles. He wants to be like 190lb Nick when he gets out of here. Carol wants to be down to 115 - that cow.

Hat tip to fellow re-cappers. I'm out for the night. They are on slop. The hot tub hammies are talking about slop and black outs.

Showtime has commercials, what a ripoff!

Okay, we're back. That was odd, a David Duchovney new show coming out on Showtime commercial, then a quick Big Love commercial and we're back.

Still in the hot tub with the hammies. Eric really has a filthy mouth. He's telling a story about how hard is it to get two dogs in the same bathtub. Looks like Carol has joined them and she's sitting on the edge. Some others are playing some game in the yard, but we can't see them.

More of Jen in her bik (I refuse to type the whole world due to the size of it). Skippy really likes her.