Previously on Big Brother
Danielle is out for revenge after James’ untimely eviction, and she voiced her concerns to Erika about Chill Town’s power. Chill Town continued their showmances and manipulation of Janelle and Erika. As HOH, Erika promised Dani not to vote her out. In a goofy food competition, the HGs chose to go on several days of slop so that they could win luxuries. The puppet master went to work on Erika and she nominated Janelle and George instead of Will himself.

Fallout from the Nominations
Janelle wasn’t grateful that Erika said she admired her at the nomination ceremony; she was just annoyed. She has a crazy suspicion that they aren’t targeting George—I can’t imagine why.

Erika says she nominated Janelle because she’s a threat to win the game, and Erika is trying to take out players she doesn’t feel she can beat in the end. That’s a nice preview of coming attractions right there.

In the DR, Will says through Booger’s “showmantical work,” he kept Chill Town off the block. I think he’s giving his skeevy friend too much credit. In the kitchen, George, Booger, and Will gather. George bows down to Booger and Will for amazingly still staying safe, and effuses compliments, which makes Booger think George might nominate them, given the chance. George guffaws, “Let’s not go after the master of the game, let’s go after a guy who wears beaded chicken neckalces!” He does have a point, but Will pretends he doesn’t. After all, George has won an HOH and a Veto and he hasn’t won anything. George tells us in the DR, “How Chill Town has made it this far, I have no idea. They’re not even nominated. That is just wrong!” That may be the most profound sentiment ever expressed by the Chicken Man.

Will and Janelle have a quick strategy session in the bug room. Will tells her to do her “job” and go give Erika a hug. He doesn’t want Janelle to be upset with Erika. Janelle obeys, and tells Erika that if she wins HOH next week, she’s not going after Erika—she’s going after the “people who took out her friends.” She doesn’t have anyone left in the house and would like to work with Erika and go after Chill Town because they’re playing everyone. In the DR, Janelle confesses, “I told her a fib about going after Chill Town.” I guess she no longer cares that they took out her friends, because Dr. Delicious is so dreeeeaaaamy.

The remnants of the Legion of Doom meet in the backyard and pretend to still have an alliance. Will wonders aloud if there’s any benefit to keeping Janelle over Chicken George, but he’s quickly shot down. Danielle pointedly asks him if he’s lost his mind. In the DR, Will admits his relationship with Danielle is strained—she’s suspicious of him after he ousted James. Hmmm…ya think?

Dani’s radar works overtime. Something isn’t adding up, she tells us. Perhaps Janelle is working with Chill Town, while Erika isn’t nominating Chill Town. “Something’s wrong with this picture!” Yes, Danielle, they’re all working with Chill Town, just like you were.

The Trampoline Cometh
The moment the outside screen rolls up after an inside lockdown, Will dashes outside and climbs on his new toy. No, not another houseguest, a trampoline! Booger charmingly calls it the “pimpoline.”

The other houseguests aren’t quite so enamored of the new toy, and remark on its inherent dangers. George calls it an accident waiting to happen. Dani predicts Will will break something. I predict he’ll break your hopes to win this game.

Danielle asks Erika if taking she’s taking her to final 2, and Erika enthusiastically says “Hell, yeah!” Danielle assures Erika she’s definitely taking her to final 2, and says in the DR that she thinks of Danielle as her strongest ally. Even though earlier she was telling Booger that Danielle was her next target after Janelle. Does this girl have any thoughts that make sense?

Danielle points out to Erika that Will backstabs people, then apologizes. She brings out the devil horns made popular in Big Brother 3 when she used them on Roddy. This time Will is the devil! Danielle tells us in the DR that if she wins the Power of Veto, she’ll take off Chicken George so that Erika can put up Will. She and George will then kick Will out. Dani is salivating for the opportunity to kick Will out of All-Stars! “Danielle from BB3 is back!” Um, probably a little late, there, Dani.

In the DR, Erika confesses that she’s struggling because “technically” she’s part of Chill Town. It’s all about who she thinks she can win against in the end—that is apparently her entire game strategy. You do have to get there first, Erika. Just a reminder, in case you forgot.

Here Comes Neil Patrick Harris, Here Comes Neil Patrick Harris, Right Down Neil Patrick Harris Lane!
That actor’s name just doesn’t flow like the name Santa Claus, does it? We return from commercial to a mellow tune and the frightening trip inside Will’s dreamworld. He’s in bed, laughing to himself, and dreaming of Neil Patrick Harris (that name's too hard to type. I will henceforth call him Doogie). We see all the times he’s talked about Doogie in the past weeks. The boy is obsessed with Doogie Howser, a better doctor than he could ever aspire to be. There’s no actual mention of Doogie, though, only of the show that CBS wants to pimp, “How I Met Your Mother.”

Then, the magic truly begins, as the man himself appears! It’s Doogie in the flesh!! Yeah, well, woo, I guess (*yawn*). Another pasty white boy to keep Will company. With a Santa hat perched jauntily on his head, Doogie wakes up all the hamsters, who gleefully hug him. He tells us he’s a huge Big Brother fan, but asks if the dining room table keeps getting smaller. I call foul—any true fan knows the answer to that.

Will can hardly contain himself in the DR. “First the tramp, then Neil Patrick Harris. What’s next? I’m going to win the show?!” Such a Doogie fanboy. I think he just lost all his street cred.

Janelle says “Will was so happy because all he wanted for Christmas was Neil Patrick Harris.” Poor Janelle—displaced by Doogie Howser.

Doogie takes George aside and gives him a Santa suit, and naturally the costume man takes to it like he was born to play St. Nick. They all congregate outside where a tree with presents await, and so Santa Chicken can thoroughly bake in the hot L.A. sun. We don’t see much of the presents, but there’s a Nintendo and clothes. Doogie wins bonus points by saying they needed clothes, because if he sees Mike Boogie wear a Dolce shirt one more time on the show… You don’t have to finish the thought, Doogie. We understand completely.

Doogie gives his assessments of the hamsters. George is nice, really funny, and a little “simple.” Janelle is even more beautiful in person. Before he leaves, Doogie executes several effortless front flips on the trampoline, aptly demonstrating the true superiority of Doogie Howser, M.D., over Will Kirby, M.D.

Fried Chicken, Anyone?
Did you know Chicken George once got struck by lightning? Apparently he lived to tell about it, because he’s not dead. It knocked him out and he woke up smoking! The doctors warned him he’d have side effects, but he swears he didn’t. Oh, those editors—they quickly show us some of Chicken George’s best get-ups, like aluminum man. Nope. No side effects at all.

Will asks George if he has any super powers, and George seems to think he’s being serious. Must be another side effect of the lightning. Booger insists this means George can’t win, because lightning doesn’t strike twice. Um, Booger, that’s a myth, and you’re an idiot.

Will wants to get rid of Danielle this week, hoping to use the veto to take Janelle off the block and put Danielle in her place. If he can get Janelle off the block via the Veto, maybe they can get Danielle nominated. Janelle is surprised that he thinks he can pull this off. To carry out his nefarious scheme, Will coaches Booger to tell Erika that she can’t beat Danielle in the finals — whether Will already knows Erika is hung up on this as her strategy or not, I’m not sure. Will tells us this is a critical week for Chill Town — they have to make the perfect decision or one of them is leaving next week.

Night Terrors with Erika and Booger
In the murky light of nightcam, Erika and Booger lie in the HOH bed. Erika wants Janelle gone, then for Chill Town to win HOH next week and put Danielle up. (Ah, so she all along felt Chill Town was her number-one alliance. That sheds new light on tonight’s happenings. Unless she’s lying, of course.) Booger agrees both Janelle and Danielle have to go, but Erika needs to be prepared for Danielle to go this week. If she’s up against anybody else but Chicken George in the finals, Danielle will win! (I wish I had their powers of prognostication — I'd clean up in the stock market!)

Veto Competition
After a commercial break, during which we get treated to an ad for “How I Met Your Mother” starring Santa Doogie, we get to the veto competition. Everyone plays, since there are only six houseguests left. (To think in two days there will be FOUR. I am way excited about Thursday’s show!)

The Two-Faced competition is a take on the Morph-o-Matic that Janelle smoked last year, but this time there are only two faces mixed up instead of three. Pieces of two of the eight evicted houseguests’ faces are shown on a large screen in slideshow mode. It’s a dumbed-down, less interesting game than the Morph-o-Matic, since we don’t get to see what the offspring of various combinations of hamsters might look like.

Booger goes first but doesn’t try to win, which he makes sure we realize by stretching theatrically and playing with himself. Er, his fingernails. Erika tries to win to secure her nominations. Will “absolutely wanted to win.” Most entertaining to watch is Chicken George, who gets the wrong-answer buzzer time and time again. This is so not his game. Then again, does he have a game? Dani feels safe, but would like to replace a nominee, so she tries to win. When it’s Janelle’s turn, she grabs her ass when she runs back and forth to answer, because her pants are threatening to fall down from the weight of her mic pack. And still she wins!

Official results:
George 24:23
Erika 1:51
Will 3:19
Janelle 1:00
Dani 1:23
Mike 7:42

Sophie's Erika’s Choice
This leaves Erika with a terrible dilemma! Who will she nominate in Janelle’s place? Oh, the trauma; oh, the drama! Booger, Will, and Danielle are her only options. So, as most of us don't do when faced with such a dilemma, Erika takes advice from her past enemy. She invites Janelle upstairs to get her opinion. Janelle’s agenda is to talk her into nominating Danielle, so she reinforces the idea that no one can beat Danielle in the finals. She also tells Erika that Will sucks, since he’s so bad at competitions, almost as bad as Chicken George. Riiiight. Must be how he got that M.D. degree, being a lot like simple Chicken George.

Erika tells us in the DR that her head and her heart are in conflict, but luckily she has Will and Boogie to tell her what she has to do. And boy, do they! Will tells her this is the decision that defines the final five versus the final three—if they get rid of Danielle, only her and Chill Town will remain, versus Janelle and George on the outside.

Still, Erika worries that Booger will throw her over for his bestest buddy. Ya think? She worries she’ll end up like Diane, that it’ll be “bros before hos.” First, any woman with any self-respect shouldn’t be calling herself a ho, and second, the boys themselves used that exact term to describe how they feel about Erika and Janelle’s position within Chill Town. In other words, Erika the ho will soon be toast.

The S**t Hits the Fan
Erika is in the backyard bummin’ over her Sophie’s Choice decision, so Dani comes by and asks what’s wrong. Great timing, Dani. Erika says profoundly, “There comes time in the game when you have to make a move you didn’t anticipate having to make.”

Not one to miss the giant anvil plummeting toward her head, Danielle asks point blank, “Are you putting me up?”

Erika gives her the company line, that she can’t beat her at the end. She’s too strong a competitor. Maintaining her cool facade, keeping her anger completely in check, Danielle says, “OK, that’s fine.”

But as night falls and the moon sets over the Big Brother house, the true Danielle comes out to haunt Erika. Burning with rage and alcohol, Danielle loudly tells Chicken George, who is sitting on the other side of the hot tub, how nominating her makes no sense for Erika unless her allegiance is to Chill Town. Chicken George smartly says nothing, just stares slack–jawed as Danielle works herself into a righteous rage the likes of which the house hasn’t seen since Nakomis’ glorious meltdown in Season 5.

Erika is suddenly there, sitting on the red sofa, smoking a ciggie. I can’t help noticing the gigantic Twin Peaks protruding from in her gray sweater. Erika snidely says Danielle is now showing her true colors, and Danielle gets out of the hot tub and right in her face. Fiiiiiight!! Danielle slurs, “Fine, do what you gotta do. You won’t get my vote in the end.” She believed in Erika—she wouldn’t be hurt if she was kicked out by Chill Town or Janelle, but this hurts her. She gave Erika her heart, looked in her eye, made promises to her, and this is the ULTIMATE BETRAYAL. Somewhere in Mexico, Howie nods in agreement. He knows all about the Ultimate Betrayal. Danielle is almost in tears. Erika’s great comeback? “Nothing has happened yet.” Um, yeah, that says so much, Scrubika.

Terrified of Danielle's craziness—or, more likely, of the truth—Erika flees through the house, her hands on her hair, muttering “Oh my God, I can’t do it!” The editors close in on the word BETRAYAL on wall. Instead of turning to her showmance partner, Erika drags Will out of a solid sleep and whines that Danielle is hysterical. Will takes one for the team, spending the entire night babysitting Erika in the HOH room so that Dani can’t get to her and change her mind before nominations. Danielle shows up at the HOH bedroom and rings the doorbell repeatedly, so Erika and Will hide in the HOH bathroom like I once hid from aggressive Jehovah’s Witnesses.

The Power of Veto Ceremony
Surprise! Janelle plans to use the veto on herself. (I know, I'm shocked, too.) “The last 24 hours have been chaos,” she tells us. “Danielle lost her mind. She feels bad because her and Erika had a deal to go to end together and Erika is now breaking that deal, and Danielle is taking it pretty hard.”

At the ceremony, Danielle sits stone-faced in sunglasses.

Janelle gives the most respectful speech she ever has before using one of her many Vetos. Using it isn’t always fun, she says. It sucks because someone has to go up and she likes everyone there.

Her face like stone, Danielle sits, wearing sunglasses.

Erika quickly puts up Dani in her place, then chokes back tears in her speech. “At this point, Danielle, I’m sorry. I know last night you said I betrayed you and would never vote for me. I hope you’d respect me as a player. This is a strategic move. I really do adore you as a player, I really respect you, really. I’m really sorry.” Really?

In sunglasses, Danielle sits stone-faced.

Will and Booger are attempting not to smile and failing miserably. Unable to stand the presence of her own company any longer, Erika walks away from the ceremony before it officially concludes.

Danielle, wearing sunglasses, sits stone-faced.

Danielle tells us in the DR that she’s very angry (I never would have guessed). Erika is making a strategic error because Danielle had her back. “Shame on me for trusting her. Shame on me!”

Erika says she knows Danielle feels betrayed, since they were allied since the beginning of the game. “That was really, really hard.” Yeah, stabbing people in their fronts usually is, Erika.

Telephone Boys Again
The episode concludes with another skit from the telephone boys. Will rings up Booger and says, “Remember when we got my showmance to put her best friend on the block, and we evicted him? Can I get you to do the same?”

“Sure!” Boogie says.

“Cool!” Will replies.

They erupt in gales of laughter. As we leave our two anti-heroes, I pray that lightning indeed strikes twice, making Chicken George the next HOH and giving the Chill Town boys a very special nomination surprise.