Previously on BB7...Janelle went 3 for 6 in the Redo-HOH. Chenbot reveals that there is a new secret power up for grabs. 4 houseguests think they are smarter than the producers and make their one and only guess after about 4.5 seconds. James tried to deter Janie from nominating Dani, but that Janie is a stubborn one and she wants Dani GONE, like, yesterday. Janie nominates Dani and Erika. Credits! Damn....this song is so magical!

Present Day BB

The Bells of scandal review Janie’s nominations and her reasons for nominating.

Dani in the DR says she knows Janie is a strong woman but “Maybe I am stronger.” The she freaks out and grunts “Black Widooooowwwww!” Ok, one of those 2 things is not true. I will let you decide.

Erika says in the DR that it was like going from the Penthouse to the Outhouse when she had won the HOH only to then lose it and become nominated. Sister, what is bringing you to the outhouse has nothing to do with nominations and everything to do with what is about to go down with Mike.

After the nomination ceremony, Erika whines to Janelle “Despise? That’s a little, like, harsh, don’t you think Janelle? Despise?” I wish she would say Despise one more time but, alas, she does not.

In the DR, Janie thinks that Erika is a “scumbag” player and states that she “doesn’t like floaters.” Amen, sister. That’s why my motto’s always been “Don’t be in a rush and forget to flush!” Janie thinks Erika’s been hiding behind S6 since the first week and making them do all the work. Which, I suppose you could argue that S6 won all the HOHs so Erika couldn’t really do anything. But, the way she handed the spider web HOH over to Dani the previous week could leave one to believe that maybe she pass a couple others over so she wouldn’t have to do the dirty work.

In the first James DR of the evening, James tries to make some witty remark about how Janies’s M.O. always seems to be to nominate the women. It’s not that witty and he fails to recognize that his M.O. is always as the most hated member of his alliance because he really sucks at being an alliance member. I am not sure he fully grasps the concept yet. He should get on that, cause this season is about half over and I am not sure they are going to let him in the house again next year! On a side note....weren’t some of James’ DRs funny last year? Cause they are NOT this year. James again explains he needs to keep Dani in the game.

After noms, Dani and Erika walk into the Red Room and Erika is all “Whatever” and then checks her own ass out in the mirror. Erika, in the DR, cannot for the life of her figure out how one can despise someone’s game play and says that it is possibly the dumbest thing she has ever heard in her life. Ok, just try to convince me, you are in a house 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for over a month with the likes of Marcy, Dani, Mike, Howie, etc, etc, etc...and THIS is the dumbest thing you have ever heard of? In you entire life? Methinks someone’s got a case of the “Marcy Over-dramtic-itis and her names sounds a lot like “Bearika”.

Marcy enters the Red Room. He is in his robe. Apparently that is his uniform. He must always wear the uniform. He comes in to remind Erika and Dani that you can’t take anything personal in this game. That advice is coming to you courtesy of Marcy. Uh huh, I said Marcy....Riiiiiighhhhtttt. Dani, I am not shitting around here, has a brief convulsion. And just like that, it is over. Marcy, sensing some of the house’s focus has been removed from him and his uniform, takes this chance to tell Dani and Erika not to think for a second that Janie’s speech wasn’t directed at him, too. Which, DUH, yeah, no shit, but is it your ass up there on the block, Marcy? Huh?

Later, Will takes Dani into the Bug Room and has to be the one to clue this “mastermind” into the fact that since Janie can’t play for veto, Dani is up for nomination, and Will, Mike, and James all stand a very good chance of getting selected for veto, they will throw it to Dani so she can win it. This thought had never even occurred to Dani so now she is pumped again.

Now we come to the first section in tonight’s show that severely tests my gag reflexes. And I. Failed. Miserably. It starts out with the creepy night vision scene that closed the show on Sunday with Erika and Mike making out in the bed. Oh, no. It gets worse. Mike asks Erika if they should continue their charade that they are not madly in love with each other. Ew. Erika is stroking Mike’s arm and kissing his hand. EW! In the DR, Erika notes that their Super Secret Alliance may not be so secret since they are kissing and sharing a bed. Back to the night vision, Mike puts Erika’s finger into his mouth and sucks on it. EeeeeewWWWwwww!!

Mike in the DR says “BB just brings out the romantic in me...or maybe it is just the ‘showmantic’ in me.” God, kill me now. With that, I jab my own eyes and ears out with my pen. This recap is going to be REALLY hard to finish now.

Oh, crap. It didn’t work and I still seeing and hearing all of this! Damn! Mike and Erika wander into the bathroom together while joking around about that other time that Mike proposed to a girl on BB. And with that, we flash back to the horror of the Krusta proposal. Mike is there, in the infamous powder blue, custom made, LEATHER, Chilltown basketball Jersey AND matching shorts AND a backwards visor while he gets down on one knee and asks Krusta to marry him. Let’s all just take a moment to reflect and ask ourselves, “Selves, Exactly how many things are wrong with that scene?” The answer – All of them. Even Shannon, who USED A MAN’S TOOTHBRUSH TO CLEAN THE TOILET, is all “That muthfucka’s done lost his mind.” We are now back to the present day BB house, and Mike gets down on one knee and gives a “fake” proposal to Erika. Erika, pretty unconvincingly, says yes to the fake proposal.

Back in the DR, Mike disgusts the entire Western Hemisphere by announcing that Erika will need to show him a little “lovin’” to swing his vote.

Marcy marches up the windy staircase of Hypocrisy, in uniform, to the HOH Room. When there, he gets his bitchy stance on and interrogates Janie, demanding to know if the F2 deal they made, when he wasn’t a giant A-hole, still applies. Janie questions all the shit-talking rumors and his working with Erika and Dani. Marcy can do nothing be lie out his ass and deny it all. He claims to have only one deal in the game and it is with Janie. He threw the term “threw me under the bus” under the bus. Claims he never hated Janie and his allegiance is to her. Then, in the DR, he shows how much he truly has integrity on All levels by admitting that because Janie is HOH, he would have said anything to keep his ass safe. He CLAIMS that if he were to win HOH EVER he would put Janie put in a second. Yeah. Right...I will believe you would pull a move like that when I see it. And since Marcy can win anything to save his life, I won’t ever have to see that.

Coup D’etat Clue #2 is revealed...it is a giant spool of thread and a giant needle. So, they are going to be sewing some giant clothes for some giant humans. Or giant animals. Got it. James tries to rationalize his crappy premature guess of “pulling the wool over someone’s eyes.” Not working, James. Not working.

Montage of House guests trying to talk out the clues to themselves/others. Mike and Will discuss some sayings that are related to the clues, Dani sits by herself and goes insane trying to figure it out even though she used her only guess, and Marcy sits, in his uniform, and talks to himself. Janie comes up with the idea of “A wolf in sheep’s clothing” and tells Howie. They decide Howie will go guess that now so that if they get a third clue that gives it away and that is incorrect, Janie still has a guess available. Howie is shown giving his official guess in the DR and, seriously, he looks a little handicapped.

Janie catches Howie up in the HOH after his guess and tells him not to let the other houseguests know what he really guessed. She tells him to say he guessed “Spool of Lies”. When he goes outside he tells everyone that was his guess and not one person is buying it. Especially Dani. She’s not buying it even if it is on the clearance rack marked down 90%. Everyone kinda thinks he has to be lying. To Howie’s credit, he , very convincingly, comes up with a stupid “Howie logic” reason for why he would have guessed that. Shockingly he plays a pretty convincing Big Stupid Guy. I know, it’s crazy.

Veto Competition

Janie cannot compete in this weeks veto since she gave up the right to in the last weeks veto competition, so only 5 players will compete. Will, Dani, Erika, James, and Marcy are the competitors. Janie says since she can’t play she is putting all her trust in James...because she is a horrible, horrible, stinky alliance member. Right, James? In a quick strategy session with Mike, Will, and Dani, James determines he cannot win because S6 will discover he is a big A-hole liar.

The Veto Competition brings back some past houseguests including BB2's Nicole as the MC. Will summarizes his relationship with Nicole in S2 by telling the DR that his first thought was “How fast can I climb over this wall. This crazy woman is gonna stab me with a knife.” That would make this a WHOLE other show, wouldn’t it. In the competition, House guests have to beat past house guests at different events. After watching the past guest perform the task, there is a “Name that Tune” style of wagering to see which who thinks they can beat the guest by the most time. Man, I wish they were really playing Name That Tune. I love Name That Tune.

1st Comp – Eating sushi as fast at possible – BB6's April
There is a “What’s up Busto” from the peanut gallery. However, Janelle and Howie look genuinely excited to see good ‘ol Busto. Howie even says as much in the DR. Ok, technically he said “Her boobies are looking bigger than ever” but in Howie-speak, that means he cares.
April finishes in 5:04 and Will claims he is going to show April why “she isn’t an All-Star” and eat the sushi in 2:56, which he does. He eliminates Marcy from the game, who bitches (say it with me now – Shocker!) that they never let him play any reindeer games.

2nd Comp – Flaringo Toss (Flamingo Ring Toss) – BB5's Scott
We see a clip of Scott falling off a treadmill – which is awesome – and we see a clip of Scott running around naked – which is NOT awesome. Will wants to give him a Chilltown Application. Go for it Will, he is all yours. Scott finishes in 1:58 and James wagers he can do the ring toss in 1:40. He also successfully completes the task and eliminates Erika. Then he gets a death glare from Janie. That is strike #1 against he acting in the throwing veto competition.

3rd Comp – Spin to Win, Spinning chair...carry wine glass...ring a bell – BB4's Jack
At first sight, Erika starts immediately crying. Jack finishes in 0:37. James wagers 0:20 and says in the DR that his throwing of the comp “Just needed to look good”. It SO did not. James does not even get a Strike #2 against his acting, he is going straight to #3 and he is out. This is the worst throwing of a comp, since I don’t know when. He could not have been any more obvious if he actually walked over to the veto necklace, picked it up, and literally tossed it to Dani. Janie was not fooled and Will is embarrassed that James is in the Legion of Doom.

4th Comp – Bull Riding – BB2's Hardy
Hardy stays on the bull for 0:59. Will and Dani are left and Will, clearly throwing this comp but in actual Will style so it is believable, wagers that he can stay on for 3:00. He doesn’t of course and isn’t even close. He apparently also crushed his manhood.

Dani gets the veto and Nicole congratulates her on a job well done which is funny because she ACTUALLY did NOTHING to win this. She stood there and watched. WTG, Dani! In the DR, Dani says “Her boys represented” at the competition. And, if they hadn’t, after last week, Dani clearly needs to find herself some new boys.

After Veto, Dani, Mike, and Will do a happy dance in the storage room while James is being ripped a new one in the HOH by Janie and Howie. Maybe they are dancing because of that? Hmmmm... James tries to lie and claim that Janie told him the night before that the most important person to remove from the veto competition was Erika which gets a big “Why the hell would I say that?” from Janie. Even Howie is in the background looking like, “Man, what an idiot.” That’s coming from Howie, ya’ll! Howie and Janie angrily chomp on Janie’s HOH snacks while they rip into James. Janie then poses the question of who to put up to make sure at least Erika will leave now. James offers CG but Janies comes back with “Why not Chilltown?” to which James gets an “Oh...shit.” look on his face.

James warns CT in the weight room that things MAY be backfiring and sends them both up to the HOH for damage control. While in the HOH, Will and Mike totally leave James out to dry and pass off any and all blame in the veto competition to him. Will suggests that Janie puts Marcy up, but continues to also push a James nomination because James is the “weak link” in the S6 alliance. Janie and Howie turn out to be EXACTLY the backstabbing alliance members that James claims when they....refuse to put him up. They know he acting totally shady and they think he is clearly working to save Dani, but this still won’t put him up because of last year. Those bastards.

Here we find ourselves in the second portion of the show that tests my gag reflexes. We start off with Janie, Erika, and Will in the hot tub together with Janie and Erika trying to seduce Will. The 3 of them get the idea that they, and Mike for some ungodly reason, should all go take a shower together in the HOH bathroom. Will sprints into the bug room and demands that Mike gets up to the HOH NOW!

In the DR, Mike and Will explain Operation Double Date. This is where Mike gets close to Erika and Will gets close to Janie. They want to the girls to think they are seducing them, winning their hearts and manipulating them when really, Will explains, the guys are “ripping their hearts out of their chests and squeezing the blood in the pockets of their cheap blouses before they can blink twice.” To which I say...who says blouses anymore? Grandma!

In the HOH room, Howie looks near tears that he does not get to participate in the shower party. A little Howie ghost even appears over his left shoulder and says “Boobies, Boobies” when some one mentions the word boobies. Mike then tells Will in reference to Erika “It’s all fun and games until she gives it up and then gets voted out by me on Thursday.” Alright, I don’t even like Erika at all and I know I said in my last recap that Mike had not made any disparaging remarks about my hunky, reality TV boyfriend, Kaysar, so I would give him a pass...but I am now revoking his pass. Seriously, me makes me want to vomit. All over. Mike completely non-attractive and should be happen when a girl even looks his direction. Oh, and I totally cut myself on his pointy ass eyebrows. I need stitches....losing blood....

Howie gets the boot from the HOH room and looks back longingly at the door like a lost little puppy.

I am not going to go into very much detail regarding the whole showering thing but I will say there was definitely blurring going on, the idea was presented that Mike took his shorts off, and in the opposite direction, Mike clearly wore his sweatband into the shower. It’s really all too much for me to handle.

Bug Room, Janie and Marcy. Janie tells Marcy there is a lot of house pressure for her to put him up and she tells him if she were to put him up she “knows” that she would have the votes to keep him. He tells her that if she puts him up, he goes. She tells him she will not put him up then.

Janie then talks to Will in the storage room that she feels horrible because now Marcy is being nice to her (yeah, cause he is trying desperately to save his own ass) and she feels bad about maybe putting him up. Will talks her down from this line of thinking and it appears he may have convinced her to put Marcy up anyway.

Veto Ceremony

Can I just say that I am glad that it appear they have stopped, at least for the time being, doing those damn “Tell me why I should veto you” speeches? Especially since the last couple weeks one of the nominees has had the veto and that is just plain dumb. No one who is nominated is going to use the veto on the other nominee. Except maybe Marcy. He is apparently that dumb.

Dani, obviously, vetos herself. Janie makes her nomination and DOES end up putting Marcy up...and while he is in his uniform too! Marcy tries to be comical and dramatically falling into the chair saying something about trying to survive. The whole thing is not really funny because you know, inside, this is exactly what Marcy would do. He is Just. That. Dramatic.

And to prove my point, without a shadow of a doubt, Marcy lets us know in the DR that he wants to “walk up to the Busted Blonde Bombshell and pull that brassy blonde hair out by its black roots. Then I want to rip out her black heart and shove it down Will’s cold, stupid throat.” Hey Marcy, I want to introduce you to someone you may know...Her name is Amy and she was on BB3. Why don’t you too have a little sit down about nominations, ok?

Janie says in the DR that she wants Erika to go home because if Marcy goes home, that means people she trusts are lying to her. And that is bad.

Announcer Man’s back! I love you announcer man...Who will be evicted? Erika or Marcellas? Who will win the Coup D’etat? Who will finally burn Marcy’s robe? (one hint...it’s me!)