Be gentle with me - first time Broadcast recapping! I'll try to be funnier next time, please don't throw me under the bus just yet...

PREVIOUSLY ON BB ALLSTARS … For three straight weeks, the S6 alliance dominated the game, and with James in power, they set their sites on Chicken George. But the chicken man proved he would not go down without a fight … Janey voice, “the golden power of veto goes to Chicken George!”

Jase lost control when he found out he was the new target, and Will revealed his innermost feelings to everyone (I hate you all). While Jase tried to do damage control (scene of Jase in HOH with S6, promising to put up floater if they save him and he wins HOH next week), Boogie did Will’s dirty work (Booger in tub with Janey and Erika – hurl). The puppet master survived another week – (Chenbot: “by a vote of 9-0, Jase you have been evicted from the BBAS house”). At the HOH competition, S6 won for the fourth time in a row (Chenbot: “Congratulations Janelle, for the second time this season, you are the HOH!”).

Who will Janey nominate for eviction? Find out tonight on BB Allstars! <cue annoying music and opening credits>

Black and White Fellini’esque sequence:
Jase: “I hate the way I’m leaving this house – it kills me inside – I’d just like Dani and Diane to be the only ones to escort me to the door…” Chenbot: “Let’s make it official – by a vote of 9-0 Jase you have been evicted.”

Various DR scenes: Bogger smarms that is it better to see Jase leave over Will, but still hard to see him go because Jase has the same fighting spirit as the Booger, and the Booger had high hopes of going far in the game with him. Kay adds that it was heart wrenching to see Jase go out that door – but he left for strategical purposes (someone needs to tell Kay that strategical is not a word – it’s strategic … he went to UCI??) Dani the Good pontificates that Jase should really have stayed in this house (even tho she voted his ass out) – and says that he deserved to be here. "It was an ugly eviction. This is when you really hate the game, when someone goes out like that." Diane admits that it’s hard to say goodbye to Jase – but she’s already cried a lot of tears already and doesn’t have a lot left (she needs to save some for later when her own ass is on the line) – plus she figures that this proves there is no MMS alliance, which can only be good for her, right?

Will pretends to be depressed by this turn of events and tells the hammies that he is both sad and jealous about Jase’s departure. Will in DR: “At the end of the day, James really backdoored him, a low-class thing to do. Jase is a great guy. Is he a threat? Of course. But they should have been honest with him – it could have been done a better way.”

James in DR: “I am not using the term backdoor when it comes to describing Jase, because Jase was not backdoored – his decision to throw HOH and not participate in the Veto to the full extent are two of the reasons he left this week.”

Cut to Dr. Will and His Booger in DR:
<phone ring sound – Will and his Booger answer finger phones>
Booger: “Hello.”
Will: “Hey Booger, get this – you won’t believe it. I go in front of the whole BB houseguest group and tell them ‘I hate you all, vote me out.’ No one voted against me! Everyone voted against Jase!”
Wild maniacal laughter from the Evil Doctor and his Booger.

Cut to sad-face Dani on screen, with Marcy in DR screeching that everybody is sad that Jase left, but Marcy is NOT! He behaved badly - good riddance to bad rubbish. In Redrum, Marcy says he voted Jase out because he couldn’t live with him any longer, his behavior was an anathema to Marcy (50 cent word loses Diane). Marcy asked Jase if his mother would approve of his behavior. James the Wise wonders if any of their mother’s are proud of their behavior. St. Dani won’t vilify Jase – can see something good in everyone in the house. Won’t let anyone drag Jase through the mud (tho evidently it was okay for Booger to trash Janey in front of Dani and call her vile names – um, yeah). Basically she comes off as holier than thou, better than everyone else in the house – and ends with “and that’s all I’m gonna say, thank you.” Self-righteous much, Dani?

Cut to James and Howie in Ant Room: James knows how Jase feels, going out like that. Says “we all shook hands with Jase, agreed to keep him.” But James can rationalize evicting Jase because Jase told him to his face he was going after Janey and Dani, two women in his alliance, and James has to protect them. Howie doesn’t feel sorry for Jase – “a strong threat left the game once again. You can’t have your corn and eat it too (huh?) – pick an alliance, pick a side, don’t switch every week! It was a blessing, worked out for the better.”

Fade to Black/White Fellini again …
Chenbot: “Janelle and Marcellus, one of you will be the next HOH … which word’s definition contains the word obligation” … Janey dings in and says “loyalty.” Janey wins HOH, and we return to hot pink technicolor as Janey says in DR: “I’m the first person to have HOH twice this season – what can I say, I dominate in this game.” Feels sorry for others in the house because they (S6) are steamrolling through the house at this point. Marcy in DR admits that Janey and Marcy have a secret deal above and beyond what the four have, so wishes Janey would have thrown HOH to him, but is still thrilled she won. Will and his Booger hug in BY after competition, Will says “let’s just go home.”

Cut to Will in DR, who says Janey really brings the heat and is an excellent game player. Admits CT is in a tough place competing against Janey and S6. Whiney Diane, with a very ugly, poor-sport face says, in DR – “How DARE S6 continuously make fun of the Nerd Herd from their own season when they are an exact replica. I mean, is America enjoying Nerd Herd 2? (raises hand) I just want to see somebody else get HOH, is that too much to ask?” (Um, so win it, dumbass!)

Cut Dr. Will and his Booger in the gym, Booger asking why Will left her in the game. Will says that in retrospect he probably should have gotten rid of her – but if S6 was going to win another HOH, Janey is the only one of S6 they have relationship with and would best to negotiate with (easier to manipulate).

Cut to kitchen – Janey and Will flirting – she asks to see his lipo scars, he acts coy. Janey in shower, invites Will to join her, then scenes of drunk Janey hanging on Will in BY, calling him little Willy (which makes me throw up a little). Will in DR: “Janelle has fallen madly in love with me – can you blame her?” Janey in hammock with Howie, Booger, Erika – telling Erika she’s in love with Will. Will asks when she fell in love with him? Janey says when he walked through the door of the house. Yet another scene of Will in DR, calling his Booger on the finger phone – “Hey Booger, you know that big blonde freaky cartoon chick from BB6? She’s WAY into me.” Janey explains in DR that it’s her strategy to work Will over. Janey says usually Will has a snappy comeback for everything, but when Janey flirts with him, he just runs away. As Will tells the DR that he likes to keep women wanting more, Janey tells us, in the DR, that she’s making the evil doctor nervous.

Cut to HOH ROOM: Off to see Barbie’s Dream House – Jealous Booger with Marcy’s fro in DR says what he hates most about the BB house is the fake-ass walk to the HOH room (since it’s never his HOH room, I suppose). Janey screams when she sees the pinkness that is her HOH room. “It’s hot pink!” More squealing, then “I absolutely love it – I feel like a princess in it.” Erika thinks she’s in Barbie’s Dream House, while Marcy says that it’s horrible, an abomination, a Pepto Bismal nightmare.

S6 get right to planning in the HOH room … Janey says there’s 2 CT, 4 of “us,” and 5 floaters. Wants to know what James thinks of Diane. James says she’s nice, and she won’t put him up. James wants to know why they are afraid to go after CT (because he’s not, evidenced by his putting them up last week – oh wait, he didn’t do that). James wants Booger gone this week. Janey wants Kay to explain things to James – which he does, sort of, not really. He basically says that CT is a joke, no threat, floaters are a threat, not connected to anyone, but will be getting together to attack soon. Kay and Janey want to get rid of Diane because none of the floaters have a connection to her, so no retaliation for S6. James says it makes no sense – should go after CT. James asks who Janey wants out, she says Diane – James snarks that she can do what is best for her, he’ll do what’s best for him then when he's HOH.

COMMERCIALS – ending with Chenbot lying about the 24/7 feeds...

James admits in DR of his “budding relationship” with Dani and Diane, that they take care of each other – and now that Janey is targeting Diane, he tells Diane she's a target and coaches her on how to talk to Janey and get out of danger. Diane is happy that James is looking out for her – and heads off to HOH to talk to Janey. Barbie and Skipper (Janey and Diane) on pink HOH bed, where Skipper says she’s no kiss-ass (ha!) and then pleads her case to Barbie. Tells her she has been told she’s a target this week (but doesn't say wh told her this), then tells Barbie she’s not after S6 so no need to target innocent Skipper. Barbie says that CT told her (Barbie) that she (Skipper) was after her. Skipper says that’s a lie, they are, say it with me, throwing her under the bus. (Can I just say – Diane in the DR with that thing on her head – some sort of womandana headband thing – makes her look like an old lady with a severely receding hairline – not a good choice Di.) At the end of convo, Barbie and Skipper are BFF who will go shopping and hang out after the show, and if Barbie doesn’t nominate Skipper, Skipper will see that as a sign of trust and Skipper won’t nominate Barbie.

Cut to Howie, Janey, James, Kay in HOH – Will comes in to take bath, Janey asks if he wants her to join him – Will stammers and stutters – acknowledges they are talking strategy so offers to close bathroom door. Eventually interrupts strategy talk to get Janey to go get rubber duckies for now infamous puppet show. Booger joins them – James leaves.

Rick Foogie, Princess Fanelle, Dr. McDreamy, Howie (no sign of Scrubika) – story of the beautiful pond with the beautiful Princess Fanelle. Floaters in the pond, sometimes they want to hang out over here, sometimes over there with Dr. McDreamy. Mainly they just float around. Then Princess Fanelle starts to have feelings for Dr. McDreamy and the rest of her crew said, “Hell no!” (The look on Kay’s face here is priceless!) There’s a fork in the road and Fanelle doesn’t know which way to go. What’s she gonna do? (Booger says, “I think Fanelle is ready for the punchline.”) Will gets to the point and offers his deal with only Janey and Howie left in bathroom – pair up S6 with CT – will guarantee whatever they want, let S6 make the decision, just tell them what to do, if they can get James and Kaysar on board. Says the six of them will ride through the house and get rid of all the floaters. Will says and no big deal, if you burn us, we’ll go back to our lives. Howie says, “I’m making a deal with the devil.”

COMMERCIAL

Scene opens on bucket of BB Slop – George lamenting how horrible it is, how it gives terrible gas. Kaysar comments that George is the only one on Slop this week, and Kay thinks it’s getting to him. Scenes of George trying to think of different ways to make Slop. Booger says that he thinks George is loosing his mind because he tried to make bread out of Slop – and they show George digging something out of toaster (but no voice of BB telling him to stop that). Will tries to encourage him and tells him to keep his chin up, that the stuff looks good.

Janey announces food competition:
“Okay everyone – it’s time for good ole fashioned food fight! We won’t be throwing pudding or mashed potatoes; we’ll wage war against one another. You won’t be fighting with your food, you’ll be fighting FOR your food.” The gist of the game is that they all get into a padded ring, and red balls will come out of the sky and rain down on them. One ball will have a star on it – the goal is to get the star ball, which ensures that person food for the week, AND they have to choose someone to eliminate from the game, which will put them on Slop for the week. Then those two leave the ring and they move to the next round. George can compete, but still has to eat SLOP. Dani whines about the three tiny girls competing versus the huge men. George gets excited about the headgear they get to wear (along with pads and other safety equipment). Will says to Howie – let’s not eliminate each other in this game. Howie says okay. Will tells us he doesn’t care if he eats Slop or not – he’s just testing Howie.

Round 1
Booger gets first starred ball - puts Marcy on SLOP. Says it’s payback for HOH comp – Marcy took out Booger first. Marcy hates his life right now.

Round 2
Howie gets starred ball – puts Will on Slop. Will gave Howie a test, Will now knows he can’t trust Howie. But Howie tells us that he wants to make Will weak for competitions, so he put him put on SLOP.

Round 3
Lots of bodies colliding, flying, upset people. Kaysar gets star ball and puts George on SLOP.
Janey notes to us in the DR that Kaysar has been taking the safe route lately – he got rid of George, already on SLOP.

Round 4
James and Dani going for ball – Dani tried to knock him down and get the ball – Dani even hits James in the back to try for ball. James gets the ball and puts Diane on SLOP.

Round 5
Dani and Erika are the only two left – Dani whines that she never wins food comps – not feeling good about it. Dani and Erika go after each other – Erika takes dive for it, but Dani gets it, so puts Erika on SLOP. Dani says, “I love my star, almost kissed it, almost cried, it was my moment. Erika doesn’t eat that much anyway, so no big deal.” Nice.

Booger, Howie, Kaysar, James, and Dani won real food for the week. Marcy, Will, George, Diane, and Erika are on Slop for the week. Marcy cries in Will’s arms.

COMMERCIAL

Goofy scene of Janey and Diane contemplating how to bake banana bread. Neither are cooks/bakers, but willing to give it a whirl (Diane wants to keep her enemies close). They agree they need old bananas. Janey says you age bananas by putting them on top of the fridge. Janey then wonders of they need baking soda or baking powder – didn’t know if baking powder was used for more than freshening your fridge.

Cut to backyard with Will, his Booger, Janey, and Howie talking in BY – more of CT working on Jedie Howie and Jedi Janie, trying to tempt them over to the dark side. Howie says everyone is after them (S6) – Will says CT won’t come after them if they work together. Will advises them to put up one CT and one floater – take each floater upstairs and tell them they are putting up Will to go out and need a pawn, see how they react to being put up as pawn – if they freak out that means they don’t trust you and you can’t trust them. Will says use me as a pawn, if I can trust you, you can trust me – actions more powerful than words. Much more bs’ing and then Howie and Janey leave – as the Booger says “you guys are gonna get played!”

Cut to HOH with Janey and Howie contemplating the CT deal. Howie says it’s too dangerous, it’s CT, they can’t be trusted. But they both agree that the biggest alliance in the house is the floaters – so maybe they need to get a floater out. Janey says to us, in DR, she needs to make decision that is right for her alliance, but also what is right for her. Howie gets James (Kay must be sleeping), who says if the floaters are that big of a threat, they need to go after the two most dangerous – Marcy and Dani. Then James says the moment we touch a floater, they are all after us – CT will go to floaters and unite them. Howie said CT sucks, as Will and his Booger ring the bell to HOH and say they’ll be outside if needed. Howie asks if Will doesn’t care about playing, why is he sitting five feet outside the door? Then James adds that Will is so manipulative that he’ll have Janey nominating Howie if she isn’t careful. James says we have to put up CT or the others will be after S6.

Cut to Will on Janey’s pink bed, talking to Janey in HOH. Will comments that Janey is an excellent game player, and is surprised by her open-mindedness. He astutely observes that people plant seeds in her head all the time, and whoever speaks to her last might have the most influence for nominations (which explains her nominations). They go back and forth about possible nominations, and Janey suggests Booger and George. Will counters with “how about me and George.” Janey says no, Will asks why she won’t put him up. Janey says it’s not because she likes him, and Will says that she’s blushing. She says she’s not blushing, her room is pink. Will then tells her she’s the biggest badass in BB history (after Janey whines about not wanting to do nominations) and then tells them about how all of the S6 have parachutes – back-ups in case S6 alliance falls apart – Kay has Erika, James has Dani, Janey has Marcy, while poor Howie has no one. So Will advises Janey to put up James’ and Kay’s parachutes – Erika and Dani. Will says that the right decision isn’t choosing the right people in your alliance, it’s choosing the right people you can trust. Janey asks for reassurance that W/B will do what she wants – and Will replies that they’ll do what she wants. Will says, “I am true to my word, and I’ll back you up unconditionally.” Janey asks what if Will is lying? Will says, “then send me home.”

COMMERCIAL

Nominations today – Janey looking at hammie pictures.

Diane says: “I don’t want to go up – I hope James talked her out of it.”
Will says: “Every once in a while I can charm people – don’t know if charm worked or not, won’t know until the keys are out.”
Booger wonders if Janey will trust CT and they can turn this game on its ear.
Erika can’t think of any reason Janey would nominate her, so feels safe (bwahahaha!)
Janey wants to make a decision best for her alliance, but also for her, deal with people coming after her.

Cut to Nomination Ceremony - Janey brings out box – crashes it onto lazy Susan and says, “This is the nomination ceremony – this nomination was very confusing for me, I wasn’t sure who to nominate so I winged it and hoped for best.”

Janey pull out James key – James you are safe.
James pulls – Marcy you are safe.
Marcy pulls – Howie you are safe.
Howie pulls – Kay you are safe
Kay pulls – Will you are safe
Will pulls – Dani you are safe
Dani pulls – Diane you are safe (fake shocked look)
One key left ….
Diane pulls - George, you are safe (more fake shock)

Janey says, "I nominated you, Booger and you, Erika – Booger you said you were coming after me, and I *dislike you very much. I nominated Erika because she is so liked in the house, I figured no one would vote against her. And that is why I nominated you two.”

Janey says her goal is to shake up the house. Erika says that now a line has been drawn in sand, now she has an excuse to go after them. “You struck first, I’m striking back, the gloves are off.” Booger says that the best thing to do interact with everyone, make them feel comfortable, play for veto, make moves. “Lots of game left, gonna play to the end.” Will says that Janey met him halfway – one floater up – gives us a fighting chance. “And at the end of the day, I think she did it because she loves me.”

Who will win the POV? And how will the house react when America’s wake up calls keep them up all night long? Find out Tuesday…

*I think she said dislike you very much, as opposed to like you, even after replaying it a few times - very odd speech.