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  1. Today
  2. So, the border patrol guys get eliminated for not being able to climb up a wall. There's an irony in there somewhere.
  3. Ten weeks of Survivor, equally twenty-five days, and exactly two people have left the island, and those only entirely of their own volition. When is this endless parade of extinct players going to end? Not tonight, despite the fact we have not one but TWO tribal councils. I thought for sure when that first one happened so soon that we would get some resolution to the Dinosaur Tribe, but alas. We are still subjected to Reem Daly’s disapproving sneer. Vata, Night 23. Post crazy-pants tribal in which JuliA went home because she could not keep herself from spitting figurative fire at the rest of the tribe. Rule number two on Survivor: never have a meltdown at Tribal Council. David thanks Rick for playing the idol on him and he is sad they wasted the idol, but considering how chaotic that tribal was, he is just as happy they used it. As far as the rest of the larger alliance goes, Warthog and Ron agree that Aurora was crazy-coo-coo for outing the former Kama dysfunctionality. Honestly, Warthog, if you needed Aurora to spell it out for you then you aren’t nearly as good at this game as your ego thinks you are. He proposes to Ron, Gavin, Kelley, Lauren, and Julie that they are a final six alliance and nothing can tear them asunder! Because we haven’t heard that song nearly enough this season. Aurora is all alone as no one is talking to her. Turns out she grew up in foster care and is used to not having any friends. This puts into context her awkwardly awful attempt to make a deal with Freckles after Lauren fainted dead away during an immunity challenge. Suddenly I went from, “Who DOES that?” to “Ohhh okay. I get it.” Still don’t like her much, though. Day 25. Immunity challenge time! Probst is wearing a Valspar Paint Blue Lagoon shirt, for those keeping score at home. As our intrepid host describes this challenge, I felt my lower back cringe in fear. To win immunity, Survivors will have to stand on a box, crouch down and hoist two long poles on their shoulders. At the end of the poles is a delicately balanced ewer filled with water. The set up is that if the Survivors crouch too low, they will hit a post and a flag will pop up and they will be out. If they stand too high, the ewer will fall and put out a fire in front of their position, indicating they are out. But there is a twist! Probst whips back a blanket to reveal some congealed and really disgusting looking thin crust pizza, covered in green olives. I also see Hawaiian pizza with pineapple in there, so the kitchen was really going for the worst choices possible. He tells them that if they feel confident of their position, they can sit out this challenge and chow down. Opting out is Lauren (not surprised considering how hangry she is all the time), Freckles, Kelley, and Ron. Funny story: I paused the playback on these four and Ron is sitting with his legs spread and one hand between his knees, holding his index and middle finger pointed down, slightly apart. Either Ron is signaling for a split finger fastball or he is feeling his testicles for suspicious lumps. The remaining members, Gavin, Aurora, David, Dadbod Rick, Julie, Warthog, all take their positions. Survivors ready? GO! Yeah, this is the worst challenge physically, I think. Everyone looks SO uncomfortable and awkward. Warthog is the first to drop his ewer, but the manner in which it happens is literally my favorite thing from this season so far: a beautiful butterfly flutters around the ewer, then along one of the poles and finally alights behind his ear, flapping its wings and probably feeding off his sweat. It is so pretty and delicate and even better, the stripe outlining its wings is Valspar Paint Summer Sky blue. Gorgeous! And also Warthog can’t take it and drops. Gavin is next, and then out of nowhere, Julie basically just sits down. Probst narrates that her legs gave out from under her and on replay, it really does look like that is exactly what happened. We are left with Aurora, David, and Dadbod Rick. They last nineteen minutes. David asks how Rick is doing, and Dadbod goes into a jokey news update, and then drops his ewer. He wasn’t going to last much longer anyway. David then tries to open a door with Aurora and she shuts him down quickly. Not too much longer after that, his ewer drops and Aurora wins immunity again. There goes the plan to vote her out. Post challenge involves lots of complaining about Aurora winning and trying to figure out who to vote for tonight. Kelley suggests David and everyone thinks that’s a good idea, no one more than Warthog. David, for his part, wants to break up the old Lesu three and he tries to recruit Ron and Julie. Rick talks to Freckles, who knows she is on the bottom, and she things that sounds great. Aurora is also willing to go along with them as well. So it pivots on Julie and Ron, who are still allied with each other. She seems to want to go with David and his group, while Ron wants to go with Warhog’s cabal. That’s where we leave it before Tribal Council. Speaking of which….Tribal Council time! Probst is wearing a Valspar Paint Lighthouse Shadows shirt, for those keeping score at home. The “jury” files in and Julia does not seem to have gotten over her previous snit fit. In fairness, she has been spending a lot of time with Reem Daly. Jeff starts with David, asking about the post-tribal mood after the chaotic mosh pit that was the last tribal council. David agrees it was an emotional maelstrom. There is a lot of talk of loyalty and trust, who has it, who doesn’t, who wants to employ it. More of those stupid passenger-plane analogies. That metaphor is so tired. Dadbod Rick does a great job laying out why the rest of these idiots should be voting out one of the Lesu Three, as they are going to stick together until the end and the three of them will be sitting pretty after having gotten rid of everyone else on the jury together. He explains they have zero motivation to bring a Kama member with them since the majority of the voting public will be made up of ex-Kamas. Ron, who is an idiot, says people have been giving him the hard sell and David make him admit it has been Warthog who has been doing that selling. Kelley settles it by telling Probst that a group was born out of the last tribal and she feels confident in that group voting together. And with that, it’s time to vote. Probst goes to tally the votes. David. Wardog. David Wright. (David: “Very formal!”) Wardog. David. David. David. David. That’s enough. David, my favorite player of the season, is voted out. He tells everyone no hard feelings, but he is going to claw his way back in. Off he goes down the path to choose his own adventure. And yes, of course he picks the torch up and makes his way through the dark to Charon’s boat. If he had chosen to quit the game, I would have resigned my commission. I don’t have a commission, you understand, but I still would have resigned from it. Jurassic Island. We cut to the next morning where Joe brings a bunch of bottles, each holding a clue. Said clue reads, “Extinction offers purpose, jagged and smooth. When you are at your most hollow, you often find the answers you seek.” What?? That doesn’t even rhyme! What kind of lame-ass crap on a cracker is that? Iambic pentameter be damned, everyone is off and running, David first. Helloooooo Eric thinks the clue might be about being hungry and he climbs Mount Doom to check around the rice bucket. Nothing. Chris and Joe try searching around the signal mast because the sail is jagged and you go there when you are hollow, or something. Chris was trying to use logic and dude, it’s Survivor. Be literal. Which is what David does by searching the jagged and hollow cliffs, which result in him finding the advantage. But before we get to that, I would like to point out we don’t see what ANY of the women are doing while this was going on. Did they just stay at camp? That kind of pisses me off at first, but then I remember we might have had to hear Reem Daly actually speak, so maybe this seemingly sexist choice was actually just being kind to us viewers. Anyway, David’s advantage is that he gets to give the advantage to someone still in the game for the next challenge. Gee, whomever will he give an advantage to? Kelley? Warthog? Julie? He pretends he is going to think really hard about his options. Whatever, dude. He does make me laugh by claiming he is endangered, but not extinct. Immunity challenge time! Probst is wearing a Valspar Paint Dark Kettle shirt, for those keeping score at home. The challenge involves paddles and balls, so you know Jeffy is going to be happy. The Survivors will balance said paddle on a stand, where they will have to slide five balls down a track to the paddle, then maneuver the balls, one at a time, to sit in a dimple on the paddle. Once a Survivor has all five balls settled into dimples (Not the Probst kind!) then they will immunity. He starts to send the tribe members to pick their spots, but Dadbod Rick interrupts. Probst pretends to look surprised at this interruption. Dadbod says he got a present this morning from his good buddy, David. There are various, “Oh wows” from the group. Probst tells Dadbod Rick that his advantage is that he only has to land four balls. Everyone gets set and Probst shouts, “Devens! Toss me one of your BALLS!” Seriously, how do these people not crack up like schoolkids every time Jeff emphasizes BALLS? It’s comedy gold! Survivors ready? GO! Let’s get some order of business out of the way right off the bat: Lauren, Kelley, Freckles, Julie, and Gavin SUCK at this challenge. I don’t think any of them get even one BALL settled into a dimple. It is hilarious. Dadbod Rick, on the other hand, has three BALLS settled and he only needs one more! However, his fourth BALL knocks one of the other one off the paddle. At this point, Aurora, Ron, and Dadbod have three BALLS. Then Rick does the same thing again and knocks a third BALL off. Finally, though, finally he gets all four BALLS in the dimples and Probst declares him the winner. I cannot believe how happy I was at this turn of events! Mostly because I want the big group to start eating their own. It is always more fun when the obvious vote survives. Unless that obvious vote is Reem Daly. Post-challenge, Kelley bitches about Dadbod Rick being dangerous. Warthog, making sense, tells her there is no point since he has immunity. The new easy vote is Aurora, however Warthog has been working the tribe earlier, prior to the challenge. He wants Kelley out now. He recruits Freckles, Aurora, and Dadbod Rick. The last person he has to convince is Ron, but because Julie is adamant about getting rid of Aurora, Ron is not so sure. Aurora, for her part, reminds us she has an extra vote from someone on Jurassic Island, and she is going to, and I quote, “Use it to (her) advantage.” What brilliant plan does she have for this extra vote? Like, actually USING the extra vote to save herself? No, she decides she is going to give it to Ron for safekeeping in case she is voted out. He accepts because he isn’t stupid, and like every single person watching the show, he thinks about voting her out and keeping the extra vote permanently. Tempting, but never a good idea to make an enemy of someone going to the jury. Tribal Council time. Probst is wearing a Valspar Paint Clothesline Fresh shirt, for those keeping score at home. The Jury-assic Seven come in and most of them look thrilled that Dadbod Rick is wearing the immunity necklace, though none more than Julia, who fistpumps the air. Interesting. Probst asks the usual questions. Dadbod Rick is happy to have immunity because he was sure he was next to go. Freckles claims she and Aurora are the leftovers and seem to be the easy choice to vote out. Ron suggests blindsides are addicting and the alliance group was formed to keep blindsides from happening. Freckles says the smaller the group, the less strong the alliances will be, which is totally correct. I just have trouble taking someone in a wool knit cap on a tropical island seriously. And I just noticed tonight that Ron’s pants are made from the same brocade material as my living room curtains. And with that, it’s time to vote. Probst goes to tally the votes. No one decides to play a hidden immunity idol, so let’s get on with the show. Jeff reads the votes. Aurora. Kelly. Aurora. Aurora. Aurora. Wentworth. Wentworth. Kelley. Kelly. And with that, the final returning player is voted out, with an idol in her pocket. She picks up her torch and says, “A lot of lying going on.” Aubry mouths, “Holy ____ Wardog!” so obviously he has some credit with the jury members. Kelley wishes them luck and says she will see them soon. She doesn’t even pause at the crossroads, just picks up the torch and heads off to find her boat to Extinction.
  4. Not quite as sad as Rupert & Laura being in that one place for like 2 freaking hours, but yes, it was kinda sad.
  5. They were so far out of their league in this race that it was almost sad.
  6. So... I know we have some other pet lovers here besides me... if any of you can spare any positivity for my little Sheltie Zoey, we would appreciate it. She's either got "just epilepsy", which is looking less likely, or we are dealing with a brain tumor. She is only 11 years old, which isn't really *that* old for a Sheltie. Her first seizure was October 19th... then she was totally fine until December 19th when she had 10 to 12 seizures over 3 days... we started her on an Rx anti-seizure med plus I put her on CBD oil. It took her almost 10 days to go totally back to normal, but she gradually improved over that time, and became her normal happy self again. Until April 4th... she had another major seizure and then 10 to 12 more, again, over the next three days. She would regain being mostly normal in between, but then April 8th she started having other neurological symptoms and lost most of her sight. We upped her dosages of the Rx and the CBD... and her seizures are once again under control, but neurologically she is most certainly *not* herself again, and only happy sometimes, which breaks my heart. Yet she is in no pain or anything, either. She just naps a lot -- a LOT -- and when you call, she shows interest, if you can wake her up -- but due to her sight looks the wrong way and gets like stuck in the furniture, so she spends most of her time in a play-pen in the TV room unless I can actively supervise her, or hold and snuggle her. After some research I found out about the Keto diet for cancer that especially works well as an adjunct therapy for brain diseases/disorders (including epilepsy) and brain tumors, according to numerous studies on both animals and people. So I'm trying that with her, as at this point we have nothing to lose. She just started on it the 17th (between Survivor and TAR), and she likes the food at least. This is especially a emotional blow after losing my Sheltie Possum on February 2nd this year. Taking care of Zoey, especially with my spine and hip disabilities, has been exhausting, especially as a 3rd year Computer Science degree major -- we're into the "really difficult shit" at this point... and I am so exhausted and, well, distraught that my comprehension skills are sometimes virtually nil, so it has made school difficult, including the 1/2 hour each way commute to campus! Some days I can barely stay awake for the drive, so Rockstar Energy Drink has been helping. I try not to think of a particular BB houseguest while I drink it. ha! And some nights Zoey is restless and keeps me awake so I get even less sleep, plus she has to be dosed every 8 hours, so there is a middle-of-the-night dosing. Our vet clinic dog-sits her for me while I go to school, which is awesome, so I don't have to worry about her going into a seizure all by herself, or having some other sudden difficulty... and they only charge $18 per day, which is worth it to me to know she's safe. But anyway, if you have any positivty to spare, we would appreciate it if you sent it our way for Zoey... and thank you.
  7. Yesterday
  8. How many neoprene outfits did they bring with them? Is it going to be a new color combination every week?
  9. Same! I hope they stick around just for the meltdown potential.
  10. What a pair of tools. Good riddance!
  11. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    Leaving the game with an idol in your pocket is never a good thing. Wentworth telling the people on Extinction about who has the other idol? I'm still processing that to see if it even matters. .
  12. Not sorry to see them go. They were the ones eliminated, right?
  13. Every time he approaches a challenge, I keep waiting for some variation of "my ox is broken." My chocolate sandle is broken!! My Mount Fuji slide is broken!
  14. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    If any of these guys let Warthog get to the end, they'll deserve to lose.
  15. Hey! I know Shiba Koen, I went to her Bat Mitzvah. What's she doing in Tokyo?
  16. It's been a few seasons since we did "Amazing Race" recaps, but when CBS rolls out the best of the best (or something) of its reality TV casts for one program, it's enough to make Fisty sit up and sigh "Eh, I guess I don't have anything better to do." Since we already know who all the teams are, let's skip the "meet the famewhores" section and move right along to the "famewhores try to outrace each other" part. The teams are leaving from the Hermosa Beach Pier in Los Angeles. Phil raises his hand (and eyebrow, of course). "The world is waiting for you...good luck...travel safe...go!" Teams have to race off the pier and head to a giant sand sculpture of an octopus on the beach. There, they will dig to find a clue to their next destination. The clue will send them to Tokyo, Japan. This destination leaves Leo and Jamal with some trepidation – it is where they were eliminated in a previous season of the Race. Teams start digging for their clue and Art and JJ are the last to find it – not that should matter; they all appear to be on the same flight to Tokyo. Once in Tokyo, teams must make their way to Shibuya, a spot sort of like Times Square. It is the busiest pedestrian crossing in the world. ROUTE INFO: Teams must travel on foot to one of two destinations – ACB Lock and Security or Tokyo Tokyo Restaurant – and ask an attendant for their next clue. But there are a limited number of clues at each location. It is at this point that the "Survivor" and "Big Brother" teams realize that the "Race" veterans have an advantage – they have had to navigate foreign cities before and interact with locals to ask for help and that sort of thing. Rupert/Laura, Chris/Bret, Janelle/Britney and some other people I'm too lazy to identify head for the restaurant. Corrine/Eliza and Becca/Floyd are among those looking for the locksmith. Leo and Jamal have asked for directions and know where they are going, but realize some other teams are following them. So, they stage a fight blaming each other about how they are lost and it throws the other teams off their trail. Rupert and Laura arrive at the restaurant and are in first place as they get the next clue. ROUTE INFO: Travel on foot to the Edgeof Sibuya and search for the next clue. First of all, Edgeof Sibuya is a name that makes my OCD tingle. "Edgeof"? One word? Really? Secondly, this place is like a shopping mall of some kind, so let's just be honest and call it Sibuya Commons or Sibuya Shoppes or some such thing. You ain't fancy, Edgeof! You got people chewing on shoes, for OGG's sake! Oh...um...spoiler alert. ROAD BLOCK: Who wants a sweet new pair of shoes? One member of each team must have a seat in a shoe store and find one of only 12 pairs among the 150 in the place that are made of chocolate. How do they tell? By trying to take a bite out of it, obviously. They must point out the shoes they want to try to a hostess who brings them a shoe to stick in their mouth. This is simultaneously my worst nightmare and the wet dream of BB's Foot Fetish Skippy. Leo and Jamal are the first to arrive at the Shoe Road Block, followed close behind by Colin and Christie. Out on the streets of Tokyo, Rachel/Elissa and Tyler/Korey find the restaurant only to be told there are no more clues remaining. They now have to find the lock place instead. In the shoe store, Jamal finds his chocolate shoe. Once teams identify the sweet shoe, they must both eat a portion of it before they can get their next clue. GAG. ROUTE INFO: Teams must travel by taxi to a train station and find Shiba Koen. Once there, they will find their next clue, which will lead them to... ROAD BLOCK: Who wants to climb Mount Fuji? One member of each team has to climb to the 20-foot summit of a novelty inflatable ramp representing Mount Fuji to retrieve their next clue. The team member that does this challenge must also dress like a Dr. Seuss reject, but that really is beside the point. Unless the point is to look absolutely ridiculous. In that case, it is spot on. Back at the shoe store, Victor is searching for a chocolate shoe and proves that he has learned a lot about how to whine from his girlfriend-turned-fiancee Nicole. He finds it on his – wait for it – 43rd attempt as Rachel/Elissa and Tyler/Korey arrive. Outside, Rupert/Laura are still searching for the Edgeof even though they were the first to get the clue. Maybe they are having trouble because they are stuck on its stupid name. Anyway, Victor finds his shoe as does Elissa. Meanwhile, over at the Climbing Road Block, Leo has made his way to the top and fetched the clue. PIT STOP: Teams will make their way to Atago Jinja, a shrine on the highest hill in Tokyo, and find Phil to check in. Leo and Jamal are elated to check in first and reverse their luck in Tokyo from their last time on the "Race." They win a cruise to Tahiti for their trouble. Out on the streets, Corrine and Eliza finally find the locksmith to get their Shoe Clue while Art and JJ are still fumbling around looking. Korey, Nicole, Rachel, Bret and Britney do the climb for their teams and eventually check in with Phil. Laura and Eliza do the shoe challenge against one another. Laura finds her shoe and as she and Rupert chow down on it, Corinne and Eliza freak out that they will be the last "Survivor" team – or last of any teams – to check in. Honestly, it couldn't happen to a better team. I mean, these two think they are snarky in a fun way. But really, they have all the humor and appeal of Boogie's genital warts. Eventually though, they do find the correct shoe and Corinne climbs the "mountain." Art and JJ are at the inflatable, but Art just can't get it up. Er...he just can't get up the mountain, that is. He gets about six feet up and slides down, over and over. He is so bad at it that at one point the medics have to come over and make sure he didn't break his leg. JJ convinces Art that they should just take the four hour penalty because there is no way Art is going to make it up that whole 20 feet. I mean...this thing is like the height of two flights of stairs. If you've ever walked from one floor of a building to the next, you've pretty much managed this so-called mountain. It is slicked down with water, but still... Anyway, Corinne and Eliza have checked in at this point so that just leaves Laura and Rupert who have been meandering around this park on the wrong side of the road for quite some time. Finally, they find the Climbing Road Block and are confused why JJ and Art are just sitting on a bench. Rupert easily scales the "mountain" and they make their way to the Pit Stop. Art and JJ eventually wander over to Phil (where, by the way, they have to climb a set of stairs far taller than that inflatable that Art couldn't handle). Phil gives them a once-over and eliminates them from the Race. Leg 1 Check-ins 1. Leo and Jamal 2. Chrstie and Colin 3. Tyler and Korey 4. Rachel and Elissa 5. Becca and Floyd 6. Victor and Nicole 7. Bret and Chris 8. Britney and Janelle 9. Corinne and Eliza 10. Rupert and Laura Eliminated: Art and JJ
  17. Last week
  18. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    How dare they expect you to work the morning after Survivor/TAR night! Oh, the humanity, indeed...
  19. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    With the premiere of TAR tonight (YAY!) happening after Survivor, plus the fact that I actually have to work on Thursday (Oh, the humanity!) the recap won't be up until Thursday evening.
  20. I’ve been keeping up with these two for years online and on social media. The primary reason why neither had returned until this season had to do with raising their kids, but when they were contacted for TAR 31, they were ready. As soon I heard they were st the start line, I felt in that instant they would be my sentimental favorites to take it this time around.
  21. He may have given the name to himself.. My thought is if you been in combat pick your own nickname if you like....
  22. I'm pretty sure that he gave himself the nickname. Yes, many, many members of the military get a nickname by the other guys, but this one just feels self anointed. Like when one of my nephews named himself Tank when he was like 8. Difference is, he only kept it up for like 3 months. Oh, and he was, and still is, built like a tank. At 8, he was bigger than most 11 year olds and at 16 he's like 6'2" and 280 pounds. Sadly, he's about just as athletic as Wardog is.
  23. He is a zero in the competitions.... The Wardog name may be because he did receive Bronze Star Medal in Afghanistan
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