Diary Room - Off-Topic Discussion

[Magpie]

Minxy! Good to see you! 

[MrsGryn]

Welcome back!

[ShyLurkerGuy]

My father died last night. It was grocery day, so I headed out to Walmart for a late-night supply run. Before I left, my parents and I watched the first half-hour of America's Got Talent together, and laughed and cheered and enjoyed each other's company. I hugged them both before I left. No drama. No acrimony. Just a rare casual moment of the three of us being in sync. I'm grateful that's my final memory of the three of us. I know that not everyone experiences such a grace of fate at the point of an unexpected loss.

I've hugged my dad a lot during the past several weeks since his two consecutive surgeries had him weak and in pain that prevented him from any amount of restorative sleep as well as impaired his ability to move about with the bodily autonomy he was used to. I hugged him during bouts of tears from the pain and his loss of bodily agency at 2…3…4…5am. His medical condition has been complex and deteriorating for years, though he fought stubbornly (and often against his own self interest) to keep a sense of controlled normal. But last night, it was all physically too much for his heart. There's no way to know if he felt it coming. I hope he didn't feel it. I hope that he drifted into a few living moments of much needed sleep before his heart failed. Heart failure was what the coroner concluded after speaking to the paramedics and reviewing my father's medical history. A local funeral home has him now. So many tough discussions I'm bracing for.

I am grateful for our apartment neighbour across from our door who stayed up with my mom and me through the ordeal from the paramedics to the coroner to the funeral home attendants, and I am grateful that the police officers attending were kind and patient especially to my mom and her Alzheimer's dementia. 

Just before my mom drifted off to sleep, she didn't even remember being told that he died. She looked around and asked, "Your dad's not home yet?" and I simply replied, "No, not yet." to avoid loops of questions about his whereabouts. I have no idea how to handle conversations about his absence going forward. I haven't slept yet more than 45min in the last 24hrs. I almost don't want to, but "tomorrow" will come whether I sleep or not, and I need more rest than the time this situation will currently afford.

Edited September 14, 2022 by ShyLurkerGuy

[knewb]

I am so sorry to hear about your dad, SLuG. I know he'd had lots of problems over the past year or so. My deepest sympathies to you and your mom. 

[Kyara]

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, SLuG. I lost someone very close to me recently and it’s just so hard. That loss never goes away, but time does help you to remember them with joy and love. You have my sincere condolences.

[lifeonhold]

I am so sorry to hear about your dad's passing, SLuG. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Your tiredness, love, and care was both sad and beautiful, so loving. God bless and lift you up during the challenges ahead. I know you will be there for your mother, helping her through too. God bless you both.

 

[elizabethann]

I stop by here a few times a day to see if anything is going on with my fellow HTers.   I miss all of you.  So what's new?  Me?  I caught Covid while visiting my husband who is in a long-term care facility.  Otherwise, just hanging out with my basset hound,watching TV, reading, playing Wordle, WWF, and posting on social media.  Also, naps, lots of naps.

Talk to me.