April 17: Won't you come see about me? – Los Angeles to Tokyo

[Tsylyst]

It's been a few seasons since we did "Amazing Race" recaps, but when CBS rolls out the best of the best (or something) of its reality TV casts for one program, it's enough to make Fisty sit up and sigh "Eh, I guess I don't have anything better to do."

Since we already know who all the teams are, let's skip the "meet the famewhores" section and move right along to the "famewhores try to outrace each other" part.

The teams are leaving from the Hermosa Beach Pier in Los Angeles.

Phil raises his hand (and eyebrow, of course). "The world is waiting for you...good luck...travel safe...go!"

Teams have to race off the pier and head to a giant sand sculpture of an octopus on the beach. There, they will dig to find a clue to their next destination.

The clue will send them to Tokyo, Japan. This destination leaves Leo and Jamal with some trepidation – it is where they were eliminated in a previous season of the Race.

Teams start digging for their clue and Art and JJ are the last to find it – not that should matter; they all appear to be on the same flight to Tokyo.

Once in Tokyo, teams must make their way to Shibuya, a spot sort of like Times Square. It is the busiest pedestrian crossing in the world.

ROUTE INFO: Teams must travel on foot to one of two destinations – ACB Lock and Security or Tokyo Tokyo Restaurant – and ask an attendant for their next clue. But there are a limited number of clues at each location.

It is at this point that the "Survivor" and "Big Brother" teams realize that the "Race" veterans have an advantage – they have had to navigate foreign cities before and interact with locals to ask for help and that sort of thing.

Rupert/Laura, Chris/Bret, Janelle/Britney and some other people I'm too lazy to identify head for the restaurant. Corrine/Eliza and Becca/Floyd are among those looking for the locksmith.

Leo and Jamal have asked for directions and know where they are going, but realize some other teams are following them. So, they stage a fight blaming each other about how they are lost and it throws the other teams off their trail.

Rupert and Laura arrive at the restaurant and are in first place as they get the next clue.

ROUTE INFO: Travel on foot to the Edgeof Sibuya and search for the next clue.

First of all, Edgeof Sibuya is a name that makes my OCD tingle. "Edgeof"? One word? Really?

Secondly, this place is like a shopping mall of some kind, so let's just be honest and call it Sibuya Commons or Sibuya Shoppes or some such thing. You ain't fancy, Edgeof! You got people chewing on shoes, for OGG's sake!

Oh...um...spoiler alert.

ROAD BLOCK: Who wants a sweet new pair of shoes?
One member of each team must have a seat in a shoe store and find one of only 12 pairs among the 150 in the place that are made of chocolate. How do they tell? By trying to take a bite out of it, obviously. They must point out the shoes they want to try to a hostess who brings them a shoe to stick in their mouth. This is simultaneously my worst nightmare and the wet dream of BB's Foot Fetish Skippy.

Leo and Jamal are the first to arrive at the Shoe Road Block, followed close behind by Colin and Christie.

Out on the streets of Tokyo, Rachel/Elissa and Tyler/Korey find the restaurant only to be told there are no more clues remaining. They now have to find the lock place instead.

In the shoe store, Jamal finds his chocolate shoe. Once teams identify the sweet shoe, they must both eat a portion of it before they can get their next clue. GAG.

ROUTE INFO: Teams must travel by taxi to a train station and find Shiba Koen.

Once there, they will find their next clue, which will lead them to...

ROAD BLOCK: Who wants to climb Mount Fuji?
One member of each team has to climb to the 20-foot summit of a novelty inflatable ramp representing Mount Fuji to retrieve their next clue.

The team member that does this challenge must also dress like a Dr. Seuss reject, but that really is beside the point. Unless the point is to look absolutely ridiculous. In that case, it is spot on.

Back at the shoe store, Victor is searching for a chocolate shoe and proves that he has learned a lot about how to whine from his girlfriend-turned-fiancee Nicole. He finds it on his – wait for it – 43rd attempt as Rachel/Elissa and Tyler/Korey arrive.

Outside, Rupert/Laura are still searching for the Edgeof even though they were the first to get the clue. Maybe they are having trouble because they are stuck on its stupid name.

Anyway, Victor finds his shoe as does Elissa.

Meanwhile, over at the Climbing Road Block, Leo has made his way to the top and fetched the clue.

PIT STOP: Teams will make their way to Atago Jinja, a shrine on the highest hill in Tokyo, and find Phil to check in.

Leo and Jamal are elated to check in first and reverse their luck in Tokyo from their last time on the "Race." They win a cruise to Tahiti for their trouble.

Out on the streets, Corrine and Eliza finally find the locksmith to get their Shoe Clue while Art and JJ are still fumbling around looking.

Korey, Nicole, Rachel, Bret and Britney do the climb for their teams and eventually check in with Phil.

Laura and Eliza do the shoe challenge against one another. Laura finds her shoe and as she and Rupert chow down on it, Corinne and Eliza freak out that they will be the last "Survivor" team – or last of any teams – to check in.

Honestly, it couldn't happen to a better team. I mean, these two think they are snarky in a fun way. But really, they have all the humor and appeal of Boogie's genital warts.

Eventually though, they do find the correct shoe and Corinne climbs the "mountain."

Art and JJ are at the inflatable, but Art just can't get it up. Er...he just can't get up the mountain, that is. He gets about six feet up and slides down, over and over. He is so bad at it that at one point the medics have to come over and make sure he didn't break his leg.

JJ convinces Art that they should just take the four hour penalty because there is no way Art is going to make it up that whole 20 feet. I mean...this thing is like the height of two flights of stairs. If you've ever walked from one floor of a building to the next, you've pretty much managed this so-called mountain. It is slicked down with water, but still...

Anyway, Corinne and Eliza have checked in at this point so that just leaves Laura and Rupert who have been meandering around this park on the wrong side of the road for quite some time.

Finally, they find the Climbing Road Block and are confused why JJ and Art are just sitting on a bench. Rupert easily scales the "mountain" and they make their way to the Pit Stop.

Art and JJ eventually wander over to Phil (where, by the way, they have to climb a set of stairs far taller than that inflatable that Art couldn't handle). Phil gives them a once-over and eliminates them from the Race.

Leg 1 Check-ins
1. Leo and Jamal
2. Chrstie and Colin
3. Tyler and Korey
4. Rachel and Elissa
5. Becca and Floyd
6. Victor and Nicole
7. Bret and Chris
8. Britney and Janelle
9. Corinne and Eliza
10. Rupert and Laura
Eliminated: Art and JJ

 

 

 

[elizabethann]

1 hour ago, Tsylyst said:

Teams must travel by taxi to a train station and find Shiba Koen.

Hey! I know Shiba Koen, I went to her Bat Mitzvah.  What's she doing in Tokyo?

[Tsylyst]

Moonlighting as a park, apparently.

[copssister]

What the hell was that bark-like substance covering the chocolate shoes?  And that was a LOT of chocolate to eat, even if it was between the teams of two.  

I'm not buying Zen Colin - we all know he has at least one rage incident boiling as the legs continue. 

Of course Janelle chooses the chocolate shoe on her first guess, because she's Janelle.

I wish that inflatable mountain had burst under Rupert.  Just when I think he couldn't bug me more, he proves me wrong again.  

[tlh9]

22 minutes ago, copssister said:

Of course Janelle chooses the chocolate shoe on her first guess, because she's Janelle.

My thought exactly!

And I hope that was at least some decent chocolate.  I was wondering what the hell was on the outside of it, too.  And the fact it was a shoe, would make it disgusting for me to try to eat in the first place... just mentally repulsive.  I'm with Tsy on that!

[elizabethann]

2 hours ago, tlh9 said:

I was wondering what the hell was on the outside of it, too.

That was most likely white chocolate.  

[tlh9]

That had crossed my mind, but wouldn't white chocolate be kinda melty?  Of course I guess it's not like they were handled that long, so that may not have been an issue.  You'd think you could smell that before you bit.  

Still grossed me out though.  haha!

[elizabethann]

White chocolate can be tempered like milk or dark chocolate.  The store was probably kept cool to keep all of it snappish.  

[ItsATwist]

Smarties...or M&Ms...a coating like that would be my guess. 

[elizabethann]

How it's done:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sSPQ99Q382I&feature=youtu.be

 

[Jade]

There's a faux white chocolate "candy coating" used in super low quality chocolate making that's extremely brittle. That would explain the brittle crack. And, it tastes like waxy butter... so disgusting.