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MrsGryn

Survivor 38 - Episode 9 - Longest! Tribal! Council! Ever!

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MrsGryn   

So, I had a meeting this evening and ended up not walking in the door until 8:57 pm. Fired up the computer and hunted down Tsy and gforce to find out who was voted out, because sometimes it is easier to recap a show when I already know the outcome. They told me, which of course we will get to at the end of this, but it was the tribal council that took the entire second half of the show that really had their attention. A thirty minute Tribal? This oughta be good! And by good, I mean INSANE. Maybe Probst gets voted off the island?

But first...post last week’s vote, the remnants of the once-mighty Kama tribe wrestle with the fact that they were outplayed like the beating the Dodgers have been giving the rest of the National League West teams. Ron laments his turn of fate and his now lack of power. Pulling Gavin aside, he asks the younger man if he is happy with his decision. Gavin is kind enough not to dance around, point at Ron and yell, “In your face, old man!” Warthog, as you might imagine, takes all the credit for everything that broke their way and now figures he is in the driver’s seat. Meanwhile, Dadbod Rick and David, my favorite duo this season, reiterate that they are still with each other. They are, and not just because they each possess half an idol, though that does seem to be foremost on David’s mind.

Jurassic Island, Day 23. Hellooooo Eric stares wistfully at the dawn. He knows today is going to suck. It starts sucking immediately because Reem Daly is talking to him about her experience as the first person made extinct. How Eric stops himself from walking two steps and hoisting the surrender flag is beyond me. Mostly he can’t believe he is someplace where there is nothing to do. Hey, some people pay big bucks to travel to sit on a similar beach and have a similar experience. Okay, there is probably regular food and showers involved in those other experiences, but still. Enjoy the setting and the fact you are not totally out of the game. Both Aubry and Joe act as mental health counselors to Eric. Meanwhile, Chris is actually doing something and comes back with a healthy looking stingray and some fish. Aww, the stingray has blue polka dots. But he is destined for dinner so I am trying not to get too attached. It’s like when those ASPCA commercials come on with the sad looking dogs and cats that makes me want to adopt all the animals. Save Dottie the Stingray! Oh, crap, I think I’ve become the Chicken Wendy of cute sea creatures.  

Vata beach, same day. Reef sharks are circling the shallows, waiting for a nice, juicy Survivor to wade in. Julie and Dadbod Rick discuss the vote and he reminds her he voted with them. A meeting at the well happens with David and Dadbod Rick and Ron and Julie, where they discuss voting together, and who could they possibly get to join them out of the rest of the tribe. Then Julie has a complete meltdown, crying because she has no one supporting her out there on the island. I am pretty sure that situation was covered in the application papers, Julie. Maybe you should have read the fine print rather than just accepting the terms and conditions with a click?

The thing is, Julie and Ron are both acting like people who were in total control and suddenly lost that control always do: they cry, they feel sorry for themselves, they look to blame others for their change of fortune. Perhaps an examination of how you went from hero to zero is in order? I know, I know, that’s just a silly thought. The guys comfort her because David and Dadbod Rick are nice.

Speaking of people now in power…Gavin and Julia discuss who they want to align with now that the dynamic has shifted. Gavin advocates voting out David. Julia is less enthralled with continuing to work with Warthog, Kelley, and Lauren, though she acknowledges that David is a sneaky snake who will need to be taken out sooner rather than later. If I didn’t know that Tribal was half an hour of the show, I’d be really irritated at all this strategy talk at the top of the show.

Challenge time! Is it reward or immunity? It is Immunity! Probst is wearing a Valspar paint Cool Springs shirt, for those keeping score at home. Aurora gives up the immunity necklace and I literally forgot Aurora existed in this game before this moment. The challenge is a repeat of one David had lost in his season: stand on a beam holding a wooden bow, balancing a ball on the bow. If the Survivor falls off the bean or the ball drops, the Survivor is out of the running. Survivors ready? GO!

Probst’s narration covers the weather in Fiji: hot and sunny. The first contestant to be out is Warthog, followed by Julie. Everyone else survives the first ten minutes and they have to move down the beam to the narrowest portion of it. The second part of the challenge starts with Ron dropping his ball early. Dadbod Rick goes not long after. Lasting longer is Freckles, and I am not convinced she didn’t throw it because she knows she is not really in danger of going. Meanwhile over in the peanut gallery, Ron whispers that Lauren is always rock-solid in these contests, and that seems to have cursed Lauren as her ball drops with very little warning. The disappointing part of the challenge is that Probst is not shouting, “BALLS!” at every available opportunity. This is a serious hindrance to my joke-telling ability. Anyway, Aurora (who?) and Kelley drops off and then Julia, who had seemed solid, suddenly is out. We are left with two guys, David and Gavin, to battle it out. We start getting close ups of David’s face and we see his beard grows really far up his face. I mean, it’s practically to his lower lashes! Maybe he is part Neander-TALL. His weird beard does not save him and his ball falls off the bow, giving Gavin the win.

Gavin is excited about sending David home. Post challenge, nearly everyone scatters and David, Dadbod Rick and Julia are left back at camp. Dadbod Rick starts working on her, then Gavin and Freckles when they return. His argument is that Lauren, Kelley, and Warthog have all voted together on every single vote they have ever had since Day One and breaking up those three would be the best move. We don’t really get an idea of how that idea is received, because we need to spend time with the former Lesu voting bloc as they lament David losing and that they would much rather vote out Ron. Per Lauren, Ron “is a strategical player in the Kama cult.” Julia doesn’t like Lauren pushing Ron as the vote, suspecting that the old Lesu people are secretly working together, and she decides to get the old band back together: Kama members Julie, Julia, Freckles, Ron, and, Aurora. They come to the conclusion that Kelley would be the best choice to vote out. Ron sits on a log, hunched over and sad. He forlornly says he tried to be strategic and that didn’t work so now he just wants to be a passenger and stay in the game and waa waaa waaaaaa. Get a couple of those balls that Probst is always waxing poetic about and attach them to your scrotum, man! Whiny baby. And good Lord, he wipes away tears! TEARS!!

Later, Freckles, Ron, and Julie tell Gavin, who was not there, that Kelley is the one to be voted out. He tries to swing them back to David, but they aren’t having it. And by they, I mean Freckles. Ron is still playing poor-mouth and asking not to be voted out. Gavin swears he is not going home tonight and Julie pipes up that he is not promising her she is safe! Gavid of course swears to her, too, but that doesn’t satisfy Julie. On the other hand, David is trying to establish some rapport with other members of the old Kama tribe and his Survivor spidey sense (which the editors foreshadowed by showing us, you guessed it, a giant spider in a giant web) is telling him something is up. He and Dadbod Rick sneak off to discuss playing their idol and they both agree that it is David who needs the protection.

David is not the only one with spidey sense. Kelley sees around camp that none of the Kama people are talking to her, or Warthog, or with each other. It is quiet. Too quiet. The kind of quiet that happens right before a Predator drags Jesse Ventura off into the jungle. She suspects that she may have to use her idol tonight. She may be right, but we’ll have a whole half an hour to find out if she does.

Tribal Council time. Probst is wearing a Valspar paint Nautical shirt, for those keeping score at home. Wow, only two shirt colors tonight. I feel like I have completed only two-thirds of my job. The members of the jury stalk in and take their seats. Probst starts out about trust and how that can shatter when you are part of a blindside. Julie claims she trusts no one. Aurora says blindsides come with danger and it’s not about people that were left out, it’s about the final goal. Warthog drops his jaw and does an exaggerated doubletake in order to get Jeff’s attention, which of course works because Probst misses nothing at Tribal. Warthog, proving once again that he pays attention, no matter how much I dislike the guy, immediately spells it out: Aurora just said that the old Lesu were used to get rid of Eric and now they are no longer needed. Kelley agrees and mentions the camp vibe and voices her opinion that he Kama group got back together. David tells an anecdote of a school of minnows swimming in the lagoon and eventually a shark came by and ate the minnows. He likens one of the Lesu to being a minnow tonight. Probst narrows his eyes and asks David if that really happened. Like, really, Jeff? Does it matter? It was an appropriately placed metaphor. Why are you questioning him? Because then David has to explain it happened while he was taking a shit in the ocean. Thanks for that confirmation your bowels are working.

Dadbod Rick then jokes about being the poop because he was waiting for Gavin’s promise of telling him the plan for the vote and it never happened before it was time to head to Tribal. Gavin then pretty much confirms that the old Kama people reaffirmed their alliance and lad-dee-fricking-dah. It’s too much for Julie, who starts crying again for being at a low point emotionally. At least she acknowledges that she looks like a lunatic for being so emotional at being left out the previous vote. She completely blows it by telling Probst that she is sure the plan she was told is not happening and that it is going to be another blindside. This alerts Kelley, who turns to JuliA and asks if they are still good. JuliA tries to assure her that yes, it’s fine. They are still good. Then JuliE proclaims that she will be a free agent next week. Ron tries to do damage control by saying after tonight’s vote JuliE will be reassured and they will be good to go forward. Probst tells JuliE that no one watching at home thinks she’s a lunatic for crying. Beg to differ, Jeff.

Probst asks JuliA why she was giggling while JuliE was crying and JuliA says it was because Kelley was asking her if they were still good and she of course assured Wentworth that they were still good. This revelation makes Dadbod Rick take notice. He points out JuliA gave the game away by confirming they are going with the Lesu Three (Warthog, Kelley, Lauren). There is a lot…I mean then the crazy breaks out. I can’t even go through this in a linear fashion because it’s crazy-nutso-cuokoobird. So here goes some of the stuff that happens in no particular order: the Extinct Jury members want popcorn because they are having so much fun. JuliA went to the bottom of the barrel as her game completely blew up in her face as her erstwhile allies cannot STFU, particularly Aurora. Dadbod Rick not only brings the jokes, he brings the unity back to the original Lesu member by outright proposing, outloud, that the original Lesu should get back together and bring in Ron and JuliE. Probst is so delighted with the chaos unfolding in front of him, he shuts up, sits back and crosses his legs. JuliA tells Dadbod Rick he’s just a passenger, and later tells Warthog to “shut up.” Nice! Not courting jury votes at this point, our JuliA. For an attorney, Aurora is clueless how to make a good deal. She should go work for Chicago states attorney’s office, she’s that clueless. Kelley tries to tell JuliA and Aurora and Gavin that she is not turning on them. David smiles broadly the whole time, and it is obvious Probst is not the only one who is delighted at the crazy tribal. Warthog works on Ron, asking who he wants them to vote out. People move around, having conversations. First it is the Lesus, minus Kelley, talking to Ron and JuliE, with Freckles eventually coming over to hear what they are saying. Then…oh good Lord people are just milling about like it’s the Friday after Thanksgiving and Walmart is about to open its doors.

More fun stuff: Kelley tells David that he was the target, Dadbod Rick clapping back at JuliA when she dismisses him, Ron looking lost and confused and downtrodden, JuliE freaking out at her former Kama allies and proclaiming she is DONE! DONE! with them and running over to sit on David’s lap, Warthog trying to get a name to vote for from Ron and Julie, David correcting Freckles when she says it is all a mess by telling her, no it is actually very clean now. And with Probst’s proclamation that this was one of the craziest tribals he has ever seen, it is time to vote.

Time to tally the votes. But first! Dadbod Rick stands up and brings up both pieces of his immunity idol, declaring that he will be playing it for his friend David. Probst confirms it is a legitimate idol then reads the votes.

David, Does not count. (Kelley: “Who voted David?”) Kelly. Julia. Julia. Julia. Julia. Julia. Julia. That’s enough. She tells them before she goes to take care of themselves and take care of each other. At the crossroads, she picks up the torch and heads off for Extinction.

Well, THAT was unexpected!
 

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AVorlon   
5 hours ago, MrsGryn said:

 Probst tells JuliE that no one watching at home thinks she’s a lunatic for crying. Beg to differ, Jeff.

Yeah, I don't have a lot of respect for someone who losses their shit after just a few weeks.

That must have been a hard one to recap, and I'm still trying to figure out  why all of that happened. Why Julia? I thought she was safe and not a target, until she wasn't.       

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MrsGryn   

I think because she was the impetus behind switching back to Kama, whereas Gavin was fine with sticking with Warthog, Kelley, and Lauren. Also being so rude to Rick by calling him a passenger when he seems to be pretty well liked was an error, as was telling Warthog to shut up. 

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Brava, Gryn!  As I was watching last night, all I could think was, thank doG I'm not recapping this clusterfuck. 

Other than the weak Dodgers reference, you killed it.

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