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Feb 19 – CBS Production: America Will Be So Excited With This Brilliant POV Twist! Narrator: America Was Not Excited By The POV Twist. (OR: Where Is Metta? And Why Is His Face Now On The Side Of Rudy Huxtable’s Breastmilk Carton?)

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The Chenbot greets us on stage in a tastefully classy gown that 1) may mean that her stylist is just phoning it in now, or 2) just may be prophetically hinting at “the classiest and most awesome” eviction ever (per Marissa tonight, as the episode ends).

We have a lot on the agenda tonight, dear readers: the fallout from Asthma-rosa’s nominations, the live POV & eviction, a mysterious POV twist (that CBS/Julie adorably continue to pump up, as if it is even going to matter…).

With only 6 days of CBB to go, we still have a whopping 8 people still in the house.  So let’s do this, y’all.

Previously, on Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig Brother!!!!

The Celebrity-version of Narrator Dude, fresh from writing think-pieces on if Brad & Jen will now complete the circle and end up back together, now takes some moments to remind us of the Previous’lies:

  • The Ross, Marissa, Ari, Brandi “power alliance” (stupidly) cuts Shannon, but during the eviction vote, the Lisa Vanderpump-wannabe went rogue and spontaneously voted to evict Mark, sending the alliance into a swirl of drama
  • The basketball-themed Wall Comp for HOH came down to James & Omarosa, but James felt pity for the asthmatically-challenged of the world and, after bartering for safety, throws it to Omarosa
  • HOH Omarosa wants to target the pairings (Ross & Marissa + Ari & Brandi), but is specifically targeting Ross since he nom’d her when he was HOH
  • Omarosa has meetings to solidify an alliance with guys (Mark, James, and Metta), while also resurrecting the female alliance foursome in order to triangulate her position with Marissa, Brandi, and Ari (you can take the HOH out of Washington DC, but you can’t take the DC out of the HOH).
  • Omarosa ends up splitting both the gender lines and the pairing lines, by nom’ing Ross & Brandi (with a courtesy wink to Marissa – we can hate Omarosa as much as we want, but the woman definitely knows how to maximize the chaos with seemingly minor *cough* gestures)
  • TONIGHT, a special POV voted by America will shake up the game leave the game as it would have been had it just been a normal POV! Who will win this POV, and will it save Ross or Brandi?  Will CBS go all-in on Omarosa’s winking and try to get a sponsorship deal with Visine? If yet another HG self-evicts this week, will Fergie, fresh off of her…ummm, interesting…take on the national anthem this week, be available for a few days of CBB gameplay/image rehab? And now that King T’Challa has opened the country’s borders, how soon can we get a season of BB Wakanda to join the international BB listings?

Let’s find out….

…right now…

……on Biiiiiiiiiiig Brother!

(For more zings on the above Previous’lies, feel free to check out the snarktastic recaps this week from @chrysana and @elizabethann!)

We pick things up on Day #18 at the close of the nomination ceremony.  Omarosa DR’s that she wanted to break up the Ari/Brandi & Marissa/Ross pairs; but she decided on Brandi because “she’s shady” for throwing Shannon a sympathy vote, and Ross because Ross nom’d her last week “and for me, it’s always personal it’s always incredibly reactionary and sanctimonious.”

Brandi DR: On top of Omarosa nominating me, I’m worried that my own alliance is turning their back on me. With all of the looks and the winks, I’m starting to wonder if someone has turned over to the dark side!

This reference to “the wink” heard ‘round the world then segues to a kitchen meet up, where all are gathered and discussing the nominations. Omarosa continues to say she made her decisions to try and break up the pairs, saying “people have Final 2 deals, people have Final 4 deals, I have nothing…”, which baits nominee Ross into passive-aggressively replying, “You can say whatever you want, it’s OK, honey.”, which then invites Omarosa to pin Ross down and ask “Oh, so you’ve made deals with no one?”

Ross then goes into denial-mode, and Omarosa now has him right where she wants him. Doh.

Omarosa surgically DR’s that this whole exercise in the kitchen is her effort to plant seeds of doubt among the many alliances (many of them, overlapping alliances) currently seated in the kitchen.

Ross awkwardly tries to play it all off, and says that he is simply talking to a bunch of people throughout  the house saying (in a not so believable tone) that he doesn’t have any Final 4 deals. Omarosa continues to poke at this question, prompting The Queen of Unnecessary Bluntness, Brandi, to ask with radioactively high levels of Unnecessary Bluntness, “Wait so…like…how did you know about our Final 4?”, as the BB music editors hysterically grind the music to a screech.

Omarosa (talking to Ross, pointing at Brandi & Marissa & Ari): You had a Final 4 with them?

Ross: With what now? (said with awkward sheepishness)

Omarosa just claps and laughs.

Brandi: I just wanna know who out of our Final 4 said something??

Marissa: Uhhh, I think YOU just did.

Seriously, how does Brandi function on a day-to-day level??? The woman does not know what it means to have an unexpressed thought, and every thought she does express is delivered in absolute bluntness, followed by a quizzical shrug of the shoulder when everyone in the room stares at her words in confused shock.  She’s a real-life Cosmo Kramer telling people they’d look really pretty if they simply went and got a nose job.

Brandi unwittingly continues to strap herself into Omarosa’s web by now claiming that someone from their group must have talked, and points out that Omarosa knowingly winked at Marissa upon completing her nominations.

Marissa is not having any of this accusatory noise, and rises into over-defensiveness (which makes Omarosa smile, as she watches the alliance melt before her eyes).  She stomps off with Ross, saying that she’s less upset about the nominations than she is about Brandi implying that she sold out the alliance.

And with this developing scene, Omarosa’s planted seeds begin to sprout some self-destructive craziness.

Marissa & Ari have a confab, and discuss that the nom’s were a shock to them (esp after all of Omarosa’s talk two weeks ago about  getting all of the guys out first), and shared that they expected Mark & Ross to go up.  Ari then shares that before nom’s she saw Mark go up to HOH to talk with Omarosa.

At this point, our dear BB friend The Clue walks in dressed in a comically superfly Steve Harvey designer suit and hits Ari over the head, prompting Miss Colombia to suspect that Mark & James cut a deal with Omarosa.  They then realize that if either of the nom’s wins POV, that Ari or Marissa will be the replacement nom, and for the umpteenth time in BB canon, we watch the dreams of a capable female alliance crash into the ashes of gender backstabbery.

Marissa apparently finds some alcohol-infused tape and mends fences with Brandi so she can then spread the Omarosa/Mark/James alliance rumor to our Beverly Hills Housewife.  She then pulls Ross into the store room to 1) declare the new O/M/J alliance to Ross, and 2) share that “Ari figured it out. Ari’s very smart. She’s like, the smartest person in the entire house!” (and with that, Steve Harvey realizes that maybe the world would have been a much better place in 2018 if he would have simply shut his mouth and let “the smartest person in the Celebrity BB house” win Miss Universe and run the cosmos for a year).  #LessonLearned

But Ross seems doubtful about this alleged O/M/J alliance, suggesting that Mark & James don’t really trust Omarosa.  Knowing that he needs both Mark & James’s vote to stay, he wants to talk with them, convinced that he can get the truth out of Mark.   

We now zip out to the back porch, where the group decides that they will play the Twitter Game (where they pose hypothetical questions to each other as questions someone may ask on twitter, in an effort to learn a truth about someone).  Omarosa asks Ari about how he feels about Steve Harvey (Ari: I love him, I really do love him), Mark asks Omarosa about the most interesting thing about being in the White House (Omarosa: The 11 days of Scaramucci, shoutout to The Mooch), and Blunt Brandi asks James why would anyone choose LeAnn Rimes over me if he and Mark were actually in an alliance with Omarosa (James: Yes, I’ve made a deal with everyone in the house this year to be polite and nice, but something tells me that will change this week), and then James DR’s that Brandi has been mean to him since Day 1, and that while he’s supposed to vote Ross out this week, he wouldn’t mind seeing Brandi leave instead.

Ross now decides to have a kitchen convo w/James & Mark, telling them that they cannot trust Omarosa, telling them that she’s just going to make any deal she needs to get in their head.

James DR’s that he’d actually love to see Brandi get voted out instead of Ross, and that he’d be interested in making some new alliance deals. He notes that Marissa seems very close to Ari, and then asks if Ross thinks he can get Marissa over to roll with him & Mark & Ross instead. Ross encourages James to talk with her and see what deals can be made.

Mark & James then have a private convo in the gym and realize that their 2 votes entirely control who stays or leaves this week.  They conclude that they’d be down for an Omarosa blindside if they can lock up a solid alliance with Marissa & Ross.  So off we go to find Marissa.

James meets with Marissa in the bedroom and creeps her out w/Orwell the Owl. He lays out that if he & Mark & Marissa can align, they can save Ross and get rid of Brandi. Marissa quickly interjects that she is 100% down to saving Ross, but then dials it back 2 or 3 or 75 percent by saying that “I don’t want to leave Ari in the dust”.

James (very correctly) explains that IT’S A GAME, and at some point they will need to break Ari off because none of them will beat the very-loved Ari in the Final 2.

Marissa DR: I totally see where James is coming from…but then that leaves Ari completely out of the equation and all on her own, and I’m not ready to do that. I mean, just 12 minutes ago in this very episode of television, I acknowledged that Ari is, like, the smartest person in here!  She’d obviously die in this house without my Broadway-influenced overdramatic reactions and jaw-drops, so how could I just cut her loose and save Ross??!  Wait, what’s that, BB3Roddy? You mean my simply voting tonight to keep Ross and cut Brandi – who Ari already said she couldn’t trust anymore – wouldn’t forbid me from just selling out the boys  next week and realigning w/Ross & Ari on our own?  You mean that making one vote tonight still allows me to save Ross and still work with Ari. Oh, OK!  Huh, maybe I’ll now just see how POV plays out, and then make a decision from there! Thanks, BB3Roddy! You may almost be as smart as Ari at this game!

Julie now whisks us to the backyard, where we see that Metta, Marissa, and Mark have been chosen to join nom’s Brandi & Mark and HOH Omarosa in the POV. Julie explains to the HG’s that ‘Merica has been voting for the last 2 days between three distinct POV powers:

Spotlight POV: Winner is forced to use POV

VIP POV: Winner can use POV twice tonight

Diamond POV: Winner can remove someone from the block, and also then name the replacement nom

Julie opens the envelope, and America production chooses the VIP POV, letting all know that it is now entirely possible for both Ross & Brandi to stay tonight.

But Metta then asks on live TV “if you win the veto, can you put yourself up?”, and the BB story editors realize that their commitment to so thoroughly detail the fractures in alliances and Omarosa’s power may be undermined by Metta’s apparently determined  interest in going on the block himself. #Suspense-UnderminingForeshadow

The comp is a standard “get your puzzle blocks, stack a puzzle picture” game that has been played many times. The comp unfolds, and Mark & Ross both do a great job of getting all of their blocks laid out, but seem stumped by getting the final puzzle blocks to complete the picture.  Mark remains confused, Ross starts to realize he needs to flip a few pieces around and is getting closer, and Omarosa is very logically piecing her puzzle together in an efficient manner.

Production seems ready for Omarosa to rally to win, and surprisingly decides to dedicate the camera shot entirely to her.  As Omarosa gets her last piece in, she runs down the lane toward her buzzer, the audience rises in shocked exclamation, she hits her buzzer, and Julie shouts out “Congratulations, ROSS!” as all of America wonders 1) if the Chenbot short-circuited once again during a live TV comp and once again blurted out the wrong result, or 2) why BB production did not prepare to have a split-screen camera shot in case multiple people predictably finished the puzzle within seconds of each other resulting in a legit photo-finish.

After a few seconds of confusion, it is confirmed that Ross did actually win the VIP POV, and can now choose to save both himself and Brandi if he desires. 

At the POV ceremony, Julie asks if Ross would like to implement POV for a first usage tonight, and Ross removes himself from the block. Julie asks Omarosa to name a replacement nominee, and the woman who has been saying all episode that she needs to break up a pair, does NOT put up Marissa or Ari (as she very much could have/should have done, in an effort to further her own game), but instead chooses to put Metta up “because he wants to go home.”

Julie then asks Ross if he would like to implement POV for a second time tonight, and he declines.  So essentially, all of this voting by America for some fancy superpowered POV actually results in a normal not-so-fancy POV where the winner simply saves himself and the HOH’s chosen HG gets re-nom’ed.  Thanks for all your votes, America!!  Metta or Brandi will go home tonight.

Back from commercial, and to Bailey Gambill’s utter joy, we see that just about every houseguest is suddenly now wearing one of Metta’s Panda Friend ballcaps, and America very quickly realizes that for the 2nd Monday night live eviction show in a row, a houseguest clearly is about to be unanimously “evicted” by their own choosing.  Doh.

Metta’s speech: It’s been very very difficult for me to be away from my family. I ask that you think back to the halcyon days of familial love in BB16 when #DevinHasADaughter became a battlecry for the father who loves and misses his kids. And while my breastmilk is not depleting like Rudy Huxtable, I ask that you vote me out. Yes, I know I have already been away from family for 20 days, and that the game actually ends in just 5 more very short days. And even though I am now literally in the closing hours of this entire game, and I am not at all a serious threat to be evicted, and that everyone seems to sincerely enjoy my being in the house, and that I could conceivably make the Final 2 and just stumble my way into a $250,000 victory thru a bitter jury vote, I choose to invoke the #BreastmilkDepletion card of Celebrity BB and ask that you vote me out.

Brandi’s speech (to everyone’s awkward “Is This Really Happening?” laughter): I just wanna say thank you, Metta, for wanting to go home.

That sound you hear is Shannon Elizabeth destroying EVERY SINGLE OBJECT IN HER HOME, cursing the BB gods that this exact same scene couldn’t have happened 2 days ago when she got screwed by Ross & Marissa’s backstabbing overreach.

And so we now watch all of this season’s Celebrity Kumbaya BB voters enter the DR and chose to “evict” Metta.  And with that, BB fans (who have enjoyed what has been an otherwise sincerely enjoyable BB season) must shrug and look the other way as the suspense of another live Monday POV/Eviction episode gets completely undermined by an HG simply asking to leave.

The Chenterview is predictable, as Julie isn’t surprised by this result, and on some level may be relived for him.  Metta and his BFF Orwell have a seat, and Julie notes that he is crying. Metta says that he’s emotional because he’s made a bond with all of them and they are truly his brothers & sisters.  He said he learned how much he missed his family and can’t wait to see his kids, their mothers, and his fiancé Maya.

As the episode ends, Julie says that we’ll have a double eviction on Friday night, and (for some reason??) a whopping 5 HG’s on CBB finale night on Sunday (seriously, after 2 borderline self-eviction episodes, CBS couldn’t  have given us some bonus suspense by historically doing two double-evictions this week and get us to 3 people for Finale Sunday??). 

And as long as we’re brainstorming BB ideas, it seems that shorter seasons, with more frequent evictions, has been a successful experiment. Add to this the fact that some of these recent 90+ day seasons have had a bit too much filler/boring stretches, I’m wondering if CBS could simply do 2 shorter seasons of BB in a calendar year, with each season being 6 weeks long (maybe 1 regular season, and 1 “celebrity” season). The gameplay would have higher stakes, and doing 2 evictions per week every season could be fun. One of these days, when BB fans run the world….

But before the Friday night double-eviction, and the Sunday finale of CBB, we will all get the treat of @jennknee's  gift of snark for the Wednesday HOH & nomination episode!  It’s been a tough winter BB season for Jennknee as she has been in a ride-or-die alliance with the CBB competition known as the Olympics, but in that spirit, I’m sure she will go full-on “I, Tonya” with her snark levels on these remaining 7 HG’s (since we will not be getting Zingbot for CBB, we will depend on you, Jennknee!).

Thanks for reading, y’all!  Enjoy the Wednesday episode ahead.

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