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MrsGryn

Live Feed Recaps, Week 1 - HOHs: Frankie and Caleb

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gforce   

Really, FF.

 

6:40 pm HT

 

Nicole and Derrick are gearing up for pool in the BY. They're playing along with Amber (I think) and Cody. Conversation is inconsequential.

 

Hayden flops down on the chaise lounge nearby. Or is it chaise "longue" (literally, "long chair)? Did we ever decide which is was? Whatever, it's both.

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ff174   

Talk about complicated.

 

Devin is in the HOH bathroom talking with Frankie. He is giving that standard crapola about not compromising his morals in this game. He doesn't want his daughter to Google his name one day and see some of the stuff that he has done. My question is what has he done that is so horrible? I know that there was LotionGate, but I've not see him do anything that horrible.

 

According to Devin, this whole BB experience is taking him back to when he wasn't such a good guy. Apparently, he was a self-proclaimed asshole.

 

He is all over the place. He is unloading every lousy thing that has happened to him both before he entered the house as well as in the house. He had his feelings hurt because he was told that he made the girls cry, and was eating too much ... then LotionGate rears its ugly head ... he had a weepfest with Brittany over their kids ... he hasn't held his kid in over eighteen months ... he wants people to be proud of him when he walks out the door ... he dumped a girl because she was agnostic ... he lost his spirit ... he drove 18 hours to Texas.

 

Dude is a downer. Now, he is crying. He loves his daughter, doncha' know.

 

Whatever. Frankie is giving him some psychobabble, trying to talk him off whatever imaginary ledge that he is currently perched upon.

Edited by ff174

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ff174   

Frankie is giving his best "Buck up little buckaroo" speech. It is filled with empty platitudes. Now, he is getting a little weepy. He didn't come to Devin's defense during with his set-to with Brittany ... whom I think was in the middle of LotionGate.

 

Sorry I missed that. I would have loved to see 5'4, 120 pound Brittany brutalize this refrigerator with a head.

 

More. He hates lying. But he has to lie in order to give the game, and all those who came before him, the dignity it deserves. The thing is that the word dignity and Big Brother do not belong in the same paragraph. I mean consider that the likes of the Douchelord, Jeremy, DICK! and other suckholes have polluted the insides of this house. You surely don't owe any of those a-holes anything.

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michal   

I log on to see a particularly happy group of people. WTH? Where are my fights & drama??? Zach & Victoria are in the storeroom. Frankie is in there briefly telling them that he can make his tuna something but it'll take 2 hours. Devin is in HOH reading the bible & shaving. Hayden is in the loo. Cody was washing dishes in a LONG towel & shirtless. Oh good, Frankie joins Hayden and they wash their hands together & yell. Shut it guys. Seriously. Brittany was mashing something and took forever at it, before moving on to dish duty. No sign of Joey. Where is she? Derrick is annoyed cause he thought Victoria was going to cuddle with him but then she left. I am seriously concerned about the dullness of this cast if they are this dull already.

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I'm tuned in to the feeds for what has to be the most intelligent conversation ever... Donnie and half-calf-Pow and Joey.

 

Poo had a dream that she was in a different house with her mother.

 

Joey leaves. Comes back. She complains about the cold in the house.

 

Derrick is laying there too. He's like the extra bench cushion, I think.

 

Joey asks about the penalty for eating when a have-not. Donnie tells her not to do it. I tell her to do it. Does she listen to me? No! Jerk.

 

Now they're talking about Survivor and how hard it is. Derrick said that he'd never do it. Half-Calf can't say "immunity."

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Half-Calf has a crush on Woo from Survivor. Derrick has a man-crush on Tony from Survivor.

 

Back to talking about dreams.

 

Donnie had a dream that a neighbor was trying to give him money and that the newspaper ran a story about him.

 

These people are boring. I'm sure that shocks you.

 

Half-Calf pays $2000 a month for her apartment. Or her mom does. Or something. Mercifully, we get fish. Hopefully, this means booze for hammies.

Edited by CripesAlmighty

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ff174   

A frighteningly boring afternoon is turning into an even more frighteningly boring evening. The highlight, if you want to call it that, is a particularly horrible British accent by Frankie. It started a while back during a pool game, and now he is, well, murdering the Queen's English is the best I can come up with.

 

Everyone around him seems to like it because, let's admit it. they are bored to tears. Currently, there is a pool game going on between Zach, Cody and Caleb, I think. Christine, Victoria and Nicole are watching this death match with Christine sexually abusing the spoon she is using to shovel some kind of food into her gaping maw. Seriously, she is giving that spoon a serious tongue lashing, if you get my drift.

 

On the couch, I got Paola reading the Bible while Amber and Devin sit there doing absolutely fuck-all. The best thing that can be said is that Devin isn't boo hooing about his daughter, so at least that is something.

 

Have they even supplied these folk any alcohol, yet. Did FUG get propositioned by some kind of temperance union that convinced her to make this season alcohol free?

 

Hayden: "This has been one of the most relaxing days, yet."

 

Exactly. This is BB, fer fuck's sake. 16 people in the house should not be relaxing, right about now.

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ff174   

Okay. This could be something. Joey asks to talk to Caleb. Finally, something interesting may happen ... or not.

 

Joey wants to apologize for being a shitty person to him ... and starts crying.

 

What the fuck is with these people? I am pretty sure that every single one of these schmucks has cried within the last 2 hours. As I said in my last post. This is fucking Big Brother. There is no crying in big brother unless its in the middle of a screaming, bitch slap fight.

 

She says that even if she goes home that's okay. It is important for her that Caleb realize that she is not a bad person. They continue to thrust and parry, talking about the game and, once again, it devolves into a bunch of horseshit that I couldn't care less about.

 

I'm out of here. I need to see if Devin has had his itty bitty fee fees hurt within the last two minutes.

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Hey ff! You're better than ever!

 

Caleb to Joey: "I haven't really found the girl who....I don't know." I perk up because it's been 10 minutes since Caleb has spoken with someone about his true love, Amber.

 

"My first girlfriend wasn't a big churchgoer but she did it for me. I'm very picky. I just can't take anyone home to momma. I don't know much about her, yet, but I'd take her right home to meet my momma after the show."

 

Caleb goes on and on and on and on. "I've dated some hot girls in my days but they're dumb or it's always something."

 

All this comes on the heels of Caleb telling Joey that he and Amber have decided to take it slow and not do any type of intimacy sort of thing on the show. Caleb: "But, our eyes? They see something completely different. We see each other. We look at each other all day. What does your look mean to me? What does my look mean to you?"

 

Well I know what Amber's look means. She's trying to figure out how she can get out of this experience with a pulse and all her limbs still connected.

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ff174   

Paola chews with her mouth open. She sounds like a cow chewing her cud. Okay, maybe that is a little harsh. She's a tiny person, so maybe cow is a little unfair. Let's go with a calf. Calves chew their cud, right? Anyway, she also talks with food in her mouth. That could be dangerous what with pieces of meatballs flying to and fro. Frankie takes up a position at a safe distance and I head outside.

 

Guess what? Devin's fee fees are in fine shape, but he misses his fucking daughter. Would this be the same daughter that you haven't seen for 18 months? What the fuck is with that? You don't have right to blame being in the BB House for not seeing your daughter if you haven't seen her the previous 18 months. That is your fucking choice.

 

Joey has stopped crying. Now, Caleb is talking about that 4 year relationship. You know. The one where that girl escaped being shackled to one of the stalls inside his barn. He's picky. He needs the girl to be an angel for him to "take her home to momma." And wait for it ... wait ... for ... it ...

 

There it is. He would be ready to take Amber home to his momma right after the show. Yup, he'd stuff her into a crate and haul her shapely fanny in his pickup all the way to Podunkville right after the show and present her to his momma. He is convinced that Amber does not want to hang with him lest the rest of the HGs think that they got something going on.

 

Hoo doggie this is one delusional dude. Skippy has had enough ... or he is calling FUG about that restraining order. He zips me to Frankie in the HOH with Amber and Devin, I think. He is still doing that fucking "English" accent.

 

MAKE IT STOP MAKE! IT! STOP!!!

Edited by ff174

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ff174   

Frankie has named the fish. Well, of course he has. Isn't that precious? As he feeds them, he tells me their names. Doesn't he know that I don't care? I especially don't care because he still is doing the accent.

 

Quick poll:

 

What is more annoying?

 

A. Jocasta's Bow Ties

B. Devin boo hooing about his daughter

C. Frankie's fucking English accent.

D. This is trick question, right?

E. Pie

 

Hey thunder! Good to have you back!!

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Frankie's English accent and Devin whining about his daughter tied.

 

Joey talking with Devin about his dipping. Not about his dipping into conversations, but of the tobacky sort. Joey? She used to dip. Then Devin proceeds to say that girls on the Oklahoma softball team dipped. "I mean, they were hot and everything but they dipped." Being that is my hometown, I can say I'm not surprised. What I'm more horrified at? This windbag of a shitty dad was in my hometown.

 

I'm sure we'll find out later that his daughter is the reason he dips.

Edited by thunderstruck

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ff174   

16 people in the house and Skippy finds in necessary to watch Cody shave. Must be a girl Skippy.

 

You know what else Devin is? A victim. Earlier, he mentioned that he isn't going to eat anymore because he got accused of eating too much. He just said the same thing to Joey, and I guess she may have been the one who bitched about him eating the HGs out of the habitrail. So, she pretty much tells him not to pay attention to anything that she said.

 

A zip around the feeds.

 

Derrick is on cameras 1 and 2. Not sure exactly what he is trying to accomplish, but he is setting up a bunch of pool-water-filled bottles like he's making some makeshift bowling alley.

 

Feeds 3 and 4 are on Joey, Devin and his very fragile fee fees.

Edited by ff174

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Zach to Frankie in HOH: "This is going to be a very boring month."

 

I guess referring to the common occurrence the first month of BB where those not in the main alliance fall like dominoes one right after the other. Oh wait....

 

Zach commends Frankie for being so calm throughout this first week. Then they laugh about Caleb being crazy, with Frankie imitating, "I'm going to take Amber to the end and let her win the money." They get nervous about happenings in the backyard and head downstairs.

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Not much going on right now. Hayden is holding an ice cube to his forehead with an audience of Caleb, Brittany, and Cody. It's not that interesting. His brain is already frozen.

 

Frankie and Zach shooting pool in the BY, while others play on a makeshift bowling alley. Joey talks in the kitchen about crying all the time, so I jump to the BY where I miss a conversation between Caleb, Frankie, and Zach. Once again, crying or talking about crying keeps me from an important discussion. These are the cryingest group of people. And I know that's not a word, but it fits.

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