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ff174

December 9 - Part 2

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ff174   

Previously on the Amazing Race.

 

We witnessed an HT first, as the fabulous tsy live blogged the first hour of the finale. I am not going to allow him to have all the fun commenting on the demise of The Shrieking Harpies, so let me just add that I am glad they are gone; and equally glad that I don't have to recap those annoying twats during the second hour. As an extra added bonus, I don't have to listen to them referring to the Beekmans as "the gays." Not that I like the Beekmans, because I don't; not because they are gay ... not that there is anything wrong with that. I just don't like racers who fucking suck at racing, and these two are the TAR 21 equivalent of those two losers, Dan and Andrew. They have finished either last or second to last in the last 6 legs of the race. That shit can't be rewarded with a win.

 

Plus, they are kind of annoying.

 

Before the racers take off, the Chippendales get to slobber over the new cars that they won by finishing first during the last leg. We are reminded that whatever Ja(y)mes's Mother and Father are in dire straits, with one of them having cancer and the other having to walk to school, barefoot, uphill, in the snow (both ways) to teach orphans ... or something like that. We get it, Show! Enough ... seriously.

 

Did you know that Ford Escape has a feature that allows one to open the tailgate by passing one's foot under the back fender? If not, then you didn't watch the 1st hour, where TPTB bludgeoned us like a bunch of baby seals over and over again, and having the racers "oooh" and "aaah" whilst demonstrating. Whatever Ja(y)mes has to demonstrate this once again, and throws his backpack in the back of the car; like he's going to drive to fucking New York.

 

Oh, did I spoil the final destination?

 

Too fucking bad.

 

I have to let everyone know that, as of this writing, I do not know the outcome. I am writing it as I go. I will probably split this into two parts, and watch the second half after I post the first part. So, don't tell me what happens, okay?

 

The racers depart, and are headed to New York. They are given a post card with "Wish you were here" written on the back. Whatever Chippy guesses correctly that the location might be Coney Island, and he is right. So, the teams all end up on the same flight. Trey/Lexi and The Chippies, who don't know who was eliminated, both note that the Shrieking Harpies and the Beekmans both reside in New York, and wonder whether that will give one of them an advantage. The Beekmans show up and Trey/Lexi and The Chippies pretend that they care.

 

So, the Amazing Red Line and the Racers head to New York. They have all dispensed with their backpacks and, once they land, head for taxis. And guess what? The Beekmans are in third place!!!

 

[Dani Donato] SHOCKER! [/Dani Donato] (Did you know that she is engaged to Dominic? Seriously!!)

 

God, I hope the Beekmans don't win this.

 

The teams all arrive at the boardwalk ..

 

(Under the boardwalk) out of the sun

(Under the boardwalk) we'll be havin' some fun

(Under the boardwalk) people walking above

(Under the boardwalk) we'll be faling in love

Under the board-walk (board-walk!)

 

All performed in three part harmony

 

Anyway ...

 

The trick here is that the teams have to find an Amazing Race clue. The scene on the postcard tells them where to start looking, and the clue is plastered on some eye level billboards facing the sea on the boardwalk. Trey/Lexi and the Chippies arrive first, and start surveying the surroundings. They are in the right place, but can't see the hidden clue. The Beekmans arrive, and we have three teams running around with nary an idea as to where the clue may be hidden. Finally, Trey/Lexi and the Beekmans figure it out, and headed to the Brooklyn Navy Yards, leaving the Chippendales last and clueless. They are looking! right! at! it!, but can't see it.

 

Oh No!!!

 

After the commercials, the Chippies finally figure it out, and are headed to the Navy Yards. They think that they are 15 minutes behind the other teams.

 

Oh No!!!

 

On the way to the Navy Yards, the racers wonder what the reference to Houdini in the clue might be. I guess I missed that part.

 

Trey/Lexi arrive at the Detour first. In this Detour, one of the racers must put on a straightjacket (Damn! It almost makes me wish the Shrieking Harpies were in the final leg ... Wait a minute. That feeling just passed).

 

Anyway, once the racer puts on the straightjacket, they will be hoisted on a crane and lifted high above the ground and released to be splatted on the pavement. The racer who makes the least mess wins!!

 

Okay, not really. I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.

 

Instead, the racer will be lifted 15 stories above the ground, figure how to extricate him or herself from the straightjacket (just like Houdini) and bungee jump toward the water.

 

Trey takes it for team Texi (tm tsy) Whatever Beekman takes it for team "The Gays" (tm The Shrieking Harpies). The Chippies follow soon after, and whatever Ja(y)mes takes it. I have to say that I am a bit confused, right about now. The editing clearly shows both whatever Ja(y)mes and whichever Beekman watching as Trey is hanging upside down ... almost like they have to wait for Trey to finish before they can participate. Yet, there are three separate cranes. What's up with that? It seems incredibly unfair for the two trailing teams having to wait until Trey finishes; especially this late in the race.

 

Whatever.

 

It doesn't take long for Trey to lose the straightjacket, and he survives the bungee jump. The next destination is the first pizzeria in New York. They commandeer their cabbie's phone, and figure out that the Pizzeria is named "Lombardi's."

 

Meanwhile, Whatever Ja(y)mes and Whatever Beekman finish up. The Beekmans still have their cab, and quickly figure out that they need to head to Lombardi's. Unfortunately, the Chippies must have released their cab, and have to call for another one.

 

Oh No!!

 

Trey and Lexi arrive first at Lombardi's. Their task is to deliver 10 pizzas to three different locations. The trick is that they have to memorize the orders, as well as the addresses, and hopefully get all of the deliveries correct.

 

The Beekmans arrive at the Pizzeria. The Chippies finally get to their cab, and are also headed to the Pizzeria.

 

Oh no!!!!

 

Texi get their first delivery correct.

The Beekmans get their first delivery correct. They start worrying if they have the right pizzas for their next delivery ... foreboding!!!!

Texi get their second delivery correct.

 

And, sure enough, the second Beekman delivery is greeted with The Buzzer Of You Fucked Up!!

 

[Dani Donato] SHOCKER!! [/Dani Donato]

 

Texi get their third delivery correct. If you look at the woman in the apartment, I'll be damned if it doesn't look like one of the Shrieking Harpies. Texi are headed back to the Pizzeria for their next clue.

 

The Beekmans fuck up their third delivery. Because they suck. They suck long and hard.

 

Good God, I hope they don't win.

 

Texi arrive back at the Pizzeria to get their next clue. They are handed a placard with an emblem. ff recognizes this emblem. Before Phil can tell me what is going on, I figure out that the emblem is that of the United Nations. As they leave, the Chippies show up.

 

I think this is good place to finish up Part 1. This is cool. I still don't know who wins!!

 

See all' y'all tomorrow.

 

I'm back. Let's finish this bitch up ...

 

While the Chippies are starting their pizza deliveries, Texi find out from a passerby that their next location is the United Nations Building and hop in a cab. The Beekmans return, and the person running the pizzeria busts their chops, letting them know that they have to correct their mistakes. So, we are left with the Chippies needing to make three deliveries and the Beekmans just two. The Beekmans correct their mistakes, and the Chippies get it right the first time around. They both head out to join Texi at what will be the final Roadblock.

 

Texi arrives, and the racer who did not perform the last Roadblock must do this one. So, this will be all Lexi. In this particular Roadblock the racers must match up the words for "hello" and "goodbye" from the language of each country they visited, and attach the associated banners to an apparatus. The racer will then raise that apparatus up a flagpole that has the flag from the country in question. Each racer has 8 different flags, and thus, 16 different words for hello and goodbye. So, in addition to knowing the correct words, they must also figure out the correct flag.

 

It also looks like those tricky PTB stuck a couple of extra words in there. I counted a total of 18 banners.

 

The taller Beekman and James will be taking the task for their respective teams After both teams knock off the well known words for France and Spain, the rest of the task is pretty much a crap shoot.

 

I wrote down the words I could see to figure out how well I would do I would have got Spain and France right off the bat. I already knew "Do Svidaniya" was goodbye in Russian, and I've seen my share of Polish words to figure out that "Zdravstvujtye" would be "hello." "Ni Hao" is Chinese, and it seems that either "Shagatom" or "Zai Jian" would be the other needed word (It's Zai Jian). So, I am halfway home.

 

However, for the rest of the flags, I would have to begin a long process of elimination. Unfortunately, the only racer who figures out how to do this is the Beekman. I read that he figured that there are over 1100 combinations, and he went through a very structured process of doing exactly that. Unfortunately, Lexi and James weren't as structured, and just flail about. After one unsuccessful raising of a couple of words, Lexi pulls a Skupin, and bonks herself on the head, and starts to cry.

 

After commercials, we come back to find the racers have hit the 2 1/2 hour mark. The editors try to make it look like they are close by showing all the racers working on their last flag at the same time, but it's a load of crap. I read that the Chippies finished about 25 minutes behind the eventual winners, which happen to be ...

 

The fucking Beekmans. I am not one of those who will claim that they didn't deserve to win, because they finished first. But these two mangled the last half of the race pretty badly. They not only finished last twice during the last 6 legs, but were also saved from elimination when the Rockers lost their passports. Plus, the shorter Beekman was a snotty little shit towards his partner for pretty much the last hour of the race, so I am not really happy with their win.

 

Plus, I kinda liked the Chippies.

 

They are greeted with warm applause, and give each other a big ol' smacker right on the lips. We then get the obligatory crapola about how wonderful the Race is and what it means to win the money with a bunch of cuts of the other racers looking like they care.

 

The Chippies roll in and deliver a bunch of additional platitudes. After another breakdown, Lexi finishes up, and they are third.

 

The teams all congregate on the mat, and that fucking annoying monster trucker lets us know that it's okay to be gay ... He won't be judging that "lifestyle."

 

Unless it's in private.

 

And, we are done.

 

See everyone in a couple months when we do it all again.

Edited by ff174

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