Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Tsylyst

December 9 - Part 1

Recommended Posts

Tsylyst   

I'm going to live-blog the first half of this crap, BB-Live-Feed-style, so stick with me.

 

Previously on "The Amazing Race" some shit happened that you can read about elsewhere in this forum. Tonight is the two-hour finale with (in order of how much they annoy me) The Twinnies, The Beekman Boys, The Chippendales and Texi: The Texans.

 

And.....credits....(drums)BumBUMBUMbumbumbumUGHUGHUGHughughughbingbumbingBINGDINGDING

(ghostytribalhowl)bumbumbumUGHUGHUGHughughughbingbumbingBINGDINGDING

(ghostytribalhowl)bumbumbumBUMBUM

(tribalyell)Ooohohhhohhhhhooohhhohohohhhhohhhohhhhh...bingbum

 

Commercials.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tsylyst   

(These commercials are fucking long. Side note: when the hell did Furbies come back?)

 

Phil reminds us that we are in Majorca, Spain. Trey and Lexi depart first at 9:32 a.m. They're on their way to Barcelona and then to some valley in France.

 

They say they have an alliance, but they'll do whatever it takes to get to the F3.

 

The Chippenstrippers take off. Gaymes whines some more about his cancery Dad and how much the money would mean.

 

The Goat Boys leave and... who the hell cares.

 

The Twinnies depart and scream some. They say they think the other teams will help them. What? The other teams should push you under the cart that takes the luggage out to the plane, you ugly hags.

 

All teams get to Barcelona and hop a train to France. Blah blah, twinnies campaigning against the Beekmans. If you want more details, you should watch the episode. Details are for pussies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tsylyst   

The Beekmans say "it's almost like high school" again because there's an alliance that is plotting against them. Dudes, you've done a pretty good job plotting against yourselves lately with wanting to give up and shit.

 

Teams arrive in France and hop in some Fords. Go Ford!

 

They have to pick up some empty crates and use the Featured Ford Technology to load their Ford Escapes. They hvae to drive themselves out to Butt Fucking France and find a stone dog statue to find their next clue.

 

The Non-Beekmans all work together to find their destination on a map and the Beekmans (who were not included) just decide to hang out and follow. Great plan, boys. It really IS like high school.

 

The Beekmans and Twinnies talk shit about each other while driving. It REALLY IS like high school!

 

Teams arrive at Chateau de Villandry in France. The Beekmans, of course, speak French and are the ones that know how to ask for directions to the dog.

 

All teams get their clue and must find daVinci's final resting place, Chateau du Somethingfrench.

 

The Twinnies must do their Speed Bump first, putting a corset on some old French chick.

 

As the others leave, the Twinnies scream at their alliancemates to lose the Beekmans.

 

Fucking die, Twinnies.

 

Commercials.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tsylyst   

*stretches fingers* Holy hell, the commercials are over.

 

OK...The Twinnies bitch and moan about their Speed Bump. Shouldn't have come in last then, huh, bitches?

 

Meanwhile, the other teams are searching for daVinci's grave. The Beekmans are leading the other teams. New alliance now. The Twinnies are gonna be PISSED. Well, they're just going to be themselves, so we won't be able to tell a difference.

 

They finish their Speed Bump and go off to find the Dog Clue.

 

The Beekmans were leading the caravan, but are horrible at directions, so now the other teams are following them as they drive in circles and stop for directions.

 

Good lord.

 

Gaymes mixes up Leonardo daVinci and Leonardo Dicaprio because he's a fucking idiot. The non-Twinnies all get their clues.

 

DETOUR:

 

Their choice: Chow or Plow.

 

In Chow: They have to make the daily meal for a pack of hunting hounds.

 

In Plow: They must cultivate a field using a horse and plow.

 

Texi and Beekmans pick Chow.

 

The Chippenstrippers choose Plow.

 

The Twinnies are still driving.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tsylyst   

The Twinnies arrive at the Chateau de Deaddavinci and get their clue.

 

They pick Chow because they've made dog food before. There's a joke there, but I'm not going to waste good material on these bitches.

 

Texi arrive at the field for Plow. They choose their horse and plow and head off to the plowing lane. They are not great at this task.

 

The Chippers and Beekmans have more directions trouble trying to find the hungry dogs. The Twinnies see the Plow task as they drive past. They arrive at the Chow task at the same time as the four boys.

 

Lots and lots of dogs. The Twinnies fit in well.

 

The Twinnies and the Beekmans are next to each other at the tables cutting meat with sharp knives and bitching at each other. I'd pay good money for someone to get stabbed. I hate both those teams, so either one will be fine.

 

The Chippers turned around and went to the Plow task. Texi are still working on their four rows.

 

The Twinnies say "We have one bucket filled, we don't know how many the gays have."

 

Die in a slow fire, whores.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tsylyst   

The Twinnies continue being stupid c-words by calling the Beekmans "Evil Gays." Look, wemmin, I don't like the Beekmans, but no one is calling you "Evil Brown Skins." Fuck off.

 

Trey and Lexi finally finish Plow and get their clue. They head off to ... somewhere. The Chippers get their clue and also head off to...Phil, dude...tell me what is going on! They're looking for some location, but Phil hasn't told us the details. Details are for pussies, after all.

 

Over at Chow, the Beekmans are ahead of the Twinnies and get their clue leaving those sweaty vaginas in the dust.

 

Commercials.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tsylyst   

Back from commercials, The Twinnies bitch about being the last team at the Detour.

 

At another big-ass French house, the Roadblock requires the team members to search tunnels for three types of mushrooms. They have to collect 10 of each.

 

Lexi is off to the races in the dark, creepy caves. They should bring over one of the devils from Majorca to jump out at her down there. That'd be good for a laugh.

 

The Chippenstrippies arrive and Jaymes heads off to do the task.

 

Back at the Detour, the Twinnies get their clue and act all Brown about it. (See, it's not funny the other way around, is it?)

 

Lexi is kinda lost in the caves, which is understandable. Parts of it are pitch black and the lights go on and off.

 

Jaymes is out of the cave already, but his haul is not correct. He heads back in as Lexi emerges from the tunnels. She got it right and gets the clue.

 

They head to Chateau de Chenonceau. Is Julie there?

 

Jaymes gets the correct mushrooms and the clue.

 

Texi went to the wrong castle.

 

Beekmans arrive at the Road Block. The Twinnies arrive as well.

 

At the mat, the Chippendales are Team No. 1.

Phil gives them each a Ford Escape. (I'll take one, Phil. PM me.)

 

Trey and Lexi arrive at the mat and are Team No. 2.

 

At the Road Block, the little Beekman is in the caves with one of the Twinnies.

 

The Twinnie is out first and gets her clue. They head off to the Pit Stop. They are the pits, so they'll be right at home there.

 

Commericals.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tsylyst   

At the Road Block, the Beekmans are still working on the mushroom task. A few minutes after the girls leave, the boys get their clue.

 

Both teams ask for directions and are racing toward the Pit Stop, if the editing is to be believed.

 

The Twinnies yell at each other to shut up, fighting over directions. The boys are on some detour.

 

The Twinnies were going in the wrong direction, which brings the reaction, "Oh my god, the gays MIGHT BEAT US NOW!"

 

I'm thinking a lot of gay people want to beat you right now, fuckers.

 

The Beekmans check in at the Pit Stop and are Team No. 3.

 

The Twinnies get eliminated (FINALLY!) and say they really blew it. No shit, ladies.

 

They say they had so much fun on the race and we are treated to a montage of them jumping up and down.

 

And....that concludes this hour of the finale.

 

ff174 will post the final hour's recap later.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...