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MrsGryn

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  1. And for those of us still furloughed and stuck at home, we could recap feeds 24/7! Wheeeee!
  2. From the article: Um....why would she do that when they could move to Fiji for a couple of months? It's not like she would be sequestered on Dinosaur Island.
  3. It's a hierarchy of hate with some of these past HGs. I feel how I feel!
  4. Andy is always on Twitter picking fights with other players and starting drama. Also he isn't going to be asked back because he is a rat faced sneaky snake. I would rather have Frankie - YES! I SAID THAT!
  5. So this was a thing that happened.... Booger threatens Dr Will's family for not going on TAR
  6. I'm going to need more information. Glad we finally have an African-American Bachelor. I don't care what race the men are as long as they look good on my TV and I can make fun of them. *shallow*
  7. Josh, Frankie, Derrick, Paul. One of those I can tolerate, but the other three at least give us something to recap. So...silver lining? *PINK GLITTER BOMB!!!*
  8. MrsGryn

    Comedy

    We will keep watching. I have abiding love for Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara for SCTV.
  9. MrsGryn

    Comedy

    We just started Schitt's Creek for a comedy choice. Three episodes in, and it's pretty amusing. Although Chris Elliott is like chili flakes. Used in the right amount can add a lot of fun. Too much and your stomach rebels.
  10. That news makes me sad. I got to see him in a Home Show once and he was so funny in person, exactly what you would expect. Warm and cuddly and loved meeting people.
  11. So Danni did an Instagram live that had the highlights posted on Reddit. There was some interesting Edge of Extinction fodder in there. Link to Reddit
  12. Totally agree about it being the best part of Discovery. Excellent casting with Pike, Spock and Number One.
  13. Agreed, Kyara. But the girl is on FIRE on Twitter, taking out all sorts of trolls. It's kind of glorious.
  14. Winners at war…..they’re coming for yoooooou! Yeah, that terrible song pretty much sums up this season. Winners. Warring. Coming for my time and wasting it with too much recappage of the entire season. Also, Jurassic Island sucks and should never come back, ever. You want war, Survivor? Keep up with that stupid game twist! MrsGryn at warrrrrrrr….She’s coming for Prooooooobst! We open with Probst, wearing a Behr Paint Black Elegance shirt, for those keeping score at home, on a tiny Tribal Council set, sounding like a tinny recording from 1924. He explains that CBS shipped him the do-it-yourself set in pieces with instructions on how to put it together. Apparently he also needed his sixteen year old to help him, like many of us with technology more complicated than a Sony Walkman. And seriously, how is it that CBS could not spring for a decent microphone? I mean, someone obviously was able to give Jeff a botox touch up, so slipping in some sound equipment should not have been too difficult. Also we know it is Jeff’s garage because there are artfully place bicycles around the mini-set. In my garage, there would have been boxes of Christmas decorations, plastic tubs labeled “winter clothes” but containing any manner of things, and oil stains on the concrete slab. Probst in his introduction claims this is the greatest season they have ever done and yeah, no. Not even close. As we know, there is no live reunion as we have come to know it, only a Zoom meeting of all twenty players. And since by the end, we only see the three final Survivors, let me pause on the twenty squares so I can describe the backgrounds of each player too you. They are arranged alphabetically, starting with Adam, who has been surviving in his grandmother’s house, judging from the doily on the back of the couch. Amber – and also Rob – are perched in front of a mural of Boston Red Sox players, presumably from the non-cheating World Series championship team. Yosemite Ben is in front of a stone wall/fireplace. Danni seems to be in her bathroom shower with stacked stone façade behind her. At least the caption says Danni but it doesn’t look anything like her so she may have swapped in Octomom. Denise and the marmoset perched on her head are in front of some gorgeous wooden doors that I am totally not jealous of at ALL. Ethan has been quarantining in a bank vault as he is sitting in front of a bunch of safety deposit boxes. Jeremy has a tastefully arranged painting and knickknacks behind him and I am sorely disappointed there isn’t a single firetruck to be seen. Kim has a home meant for giants as everything is very tall, including the ceiling, barstools, and paintings on the walls. Michelle has a nondescript couch in her background and black hair now. Natalie has a blank wall behind her. Nick is in witness protection, though it’s hard to tell due to the shine reflecting off his forehead. Parvati’s wall sports one quarter of a large painting or photograph and it looks pretty boring. Sandra and Sarah both have blank walls behind them, but at least Sandra’s shows off her crown. Sophie is the only one sitting outside. Tony has a surprisingly tasteful home, but all credit goes to his very pleasant wife. Tyson has pink wall paint and a mid-century etagere that I covet, plus a decent haircut that I also covet these days. Wendell is wearing a suit jacket for his formal trip to his living room. Finally, Yul is in front of a stark white fireplace with one lonely jade plant behind his right shoulder. After a mercifully brief recap from Probst, we jump right into the episode. Challenge beach, Day 35. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Day Flower shirt, for those keeping score at home. Is this where we finally find out who is coming back into the game, after we wasted fifteen minutes of the last show with filler on the Dinosaurs? Let’s find out. The current players dutifully troop in, with Tony remarking there is a lot of rope and a puzzle at the end. Probst explains they are not competing today and the Edge of Extinction players enter the Thunderdome, ready to compete. Boston Rob looks like he is ready to cut a bitch, and by bitch I mean Adam, of course. Probst goes over the challenge: Players will have to clip themselves to a rope maze and untangle themselves on a fence obstacle and then a post obstacle. They will then dig in the sand for a single rope run and use it with others to build a rope bridge, crossing over it and race to the end and use two BALLS on a board maze to get the BALLS in their respective holes. He also brings up the advantages: Parvati, Wendell, Natalie, and Yul skip the fence obstacle and start at the post. He then goes on to reveal that Natalie also has the second and third advantages: she skips digging and a third of her rope bridge is already built. The current Survivors are pretty impressed with all of her advantages. Let’s see if it pays off, shall we? Survivors ready? GO! And right from the outset, Natalie completely boggles the pole obstacle, getting herself even more tangled up, tripping and falling over, and being confused as to how the ropes are entwined. It is almost embarrassing and Probst calls her out on it. Through most of the challenge it is Wendell who is in the lead and in fact he is on the puzzle maze board before anyone else has finished building their rope bridge. What saves Natalie is her bazillion advantages and skipping the sand dig, plus the bridge building was partially done. This does not mean that Wendell would have been the sure winner, despite being so far ahead, as others caught up to him including Tyson and Yul. In the end, though, Natalie is able to pass Wendell and get the second BALL in the hole, thus getting back in the game. The current players clap for her without any real enthusiasm and when she reaches the Queen Sandra Sit-out Bench, Tony compliments her performance and she snaps back at him, “Thanks for voting me out.” HA! Nice one. After the challenge, Probst takes the time to talk to all the now-jury members and ask them about their experiences. It is very tearful and heartfelt in most cases and yes, Ethan does bring up that he had cancer. But what he says is that Survivor has partnered with Stand Up to Cancer and that very charity funded the research that saved his life from his most recent bout with leukemia. A fine example of going full circle. Koru Beach, post challenge. Natalie checks out the new beach, same as the old beach. Well, it was the same one she was on for two days before being the first bootee. She takes no prisoners with Tony and corrects him when he says “Welcome” to “Welcome back, you mean.” In other news, the mirror that they have is actually a metal tray, presumably from a feast. Still no word as to whether Nick ever saw himself in it. The six finalists sit around to try and get information out of Natalie, who happily tells them that the Dinosaurs are all on the Tony Train, or #BATSHITCRAZYBOSS as we like to call him. She says the impression is that Tony is giving all the instructions and everyone else is just following the directions. Tony is aghast at this while the rest of them are in various stages of disbelief that anyone would believe Tony is the popular kid. It works a little on Sarah and she starts feeling some doubts, not necessarily in Tony as her alliance partner but in how people are perceiving her since she is adamant that Tony would not still be there if it wasn’t for her. She is not wrong here, but she is quite clear that she is upset that Tony is getting credit for her moves, presumably because she is a woman. Nice play by Natalie to get some dissention rolling. Tony asks Sarah if he thinks Natalie has an idol or another advantage and Sarah completely dismisses his concerns. Now, does she do that because Natalie is a woman and therefore could not possibly have an idol or another advantage? See, I can play that game, too, Sarah. Immunity Challenge time. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Bering Wave shirt, for those keeping score at home. This is a big, complicated one and upon seeing the set-up, Denise says it looks like fun. She is not wrong. Probst explains the challenge: the Survivors will have to cross over obstacle bridges, three different ones (ropes, planks, discs), in order to retrieve three bags of puzzle pieces. After getting a bag, they will have to run up a huge flight of stairs and then slide down an enormous waterslide, which looks like a thrillride in and of itself, especially in the hot tropical sunshine. The sky is gorgeous and as blue as one of Jeff’s shirts. Anyway, once all puzzle piece bags are collected, the Survivors will have to assemble the puzzle, which is one of those where there are columnar pieces of different lengths that have to be assembled vertically with a level top in three tiers. First one finished wins immunity. Survivors ready? GO! Message from Tsy: “Is OTEV here for this?” Right out of the gate, Yosemite Ben is in the lead and Michele is lagging far, far behind. In fact at one point Natalie actually laps Michele, which Probst LOVES. The best part is watching the slides. Yosemite Ben’s slides are pretty willy-nilly and on his second one, he actually leaps over the top and barely connects with the slide as he caroms downward, spinning around on his back at the end of it. Tony is a bit loosey-goosey and Denise’s slide form is tight and controlled. Something tells me she has been on that big one at the Atlantis Resort is the Bahamas before this challenge. Michelle, whose only regular form of physical activity seems to be the nanny-nanny-boo-boo dance, is in the weeds enough that Probst ignores her and ascends the platform to call the action on the rest of the tribe as they attempt to assemble the puzzle. There is not a lot of progress going on there. Meanwhile, Michele finally gets the last bag of puzzle pieces and makes her way up to the top of the platform. There is really no other way to describe it as sauntering. She very coolly opens the first bag and gets out the pieces then bing bang boom, the first tier is done. The other Survivors are stunned and try to see how she has assembled the pieces. Michele ignores them other than a good-natured, “Cheaters!” taunt and goes on the knock out the second tier in no time flat. Shortly thereafter, the third tier is done and just like that, Michele wins a very necessary immunity necklace. She just killed it and I have to say, Probst was very non-effusive about her achievement, at least what we saw. Considering the speech Sarah makes at Tribal Council later, this moment is a good example of Jeff’s own problems with calling wins for the female Survivors. If a male player had come from behind like that, Probst’s enthusiasm would have known no bounds. Instead he was cheerful about her win but not effusive in his praise. So there we have it. Post challenge on Koru Beach, Day 36. What is significant here is that Tony is paranoid about Natalie having an idol. He agitates his alliance members, Yosemite Ben and Sarah, about the possibility and that they need to make plans. Natalie continues her campaign of telling the camp they are a bunch of idiots by saying she is just going to go with the flow which is apparently everybody tells everybody everything all the time and no one wants to scramble or talk to her about any sort of alliance. Other than Michele, the rest of them just stare at her, dumbfounded. Ha! You people should have seen her with her Twinnie in action on TAR! Michele finally says that sure, she’ll talk with Natalie and they wander down the path away from camp. And when Michele finds out that Natalie has an idol, she jumps around with joy. They discuss the need to get Tony out or at the very least get him to play his idol. What they don’t know is that Ben also has an idol. Tony really wants to put votes on Denise, but neither Yosemite Ben or Sarah want to do that and they constantly shut him down. Sarah is adamant that Natalie doesn’t have one. She explains that in the one day Natalie has been on their beach, Sarah has built enough of a bond that Natalie would have told her if she had an idol. First of all, wow. Second of all, WOW. Have you ever heard of hubris, Sarah? Because you are exuding it like the stink exuding from your armpits right about now. Sarah is dismissive of Tony, who for once is exactly right. However, the dismissiveness cracks me up because that kind of contemptuous attitude directed toward her by, say, Yosemite Ben would have had Sarah up in arms about the sexism being directed at her. So are you a sexist, Sarah, or is it just human disdain? We will let the audience decide. Tribal Council, Night 36. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Fern Canopy shirt, for those keeping score at home. The jury, all 47 members, make their way in with varying degrees of recognizability, from Adam (still and always a weasel) to Danni (channeling Janice Dickinson). The discussion immediately goes off on a tangent as Sarah gives a very good speech about gender bias in Survivor, highlighting how women who lie, cheat, and steal in the game are perceived as bitches while the men who do the same are heroes. Probst owns up to his own gender related favoritism by bringing up something we have known for years: referring to the Alpha males by their last name. Everyone promises to do better and we move back from the More You Know portion of the evening. Relevant to the game, Natalie again puts it out there: you people are playing with blinders on if you don’t get rid of Tony, because then he is getting the win at the end. And even Probst is impressed with how Natalie hammers that point home. With that, it’s time to vote. Probst goes to tally the votes. But first, does anyone want to play an immunity idol? Of course they do! Natalie stands up and Sarah’s eyes pop out of her head in shock. Tony tried to tell you, but nooooooo, you just didn’t listen. Natalie plays her idol and so no votes cast for her will count. Tony keeps muttering that he told them, he knew it. He told them! Tony then stands up to play his idol and Natalie smiles to herself. Unfortunately, then Ben stands up and plays his secret idol. Natalie loses her smile and mouths, “Damn.” So it is obviously she and Michele voted for Ben. On rewatch, I think it would have been a bit smarter if she and Michele had split their own vote and put one on either Sarah or Denise. As it is, the votes are counted. Natalie. Does not count. Natalie. Does not count. Natalie. Does not count. Natalie. Does not count. Ben. Does not count. Ben. Does not count. Probst then explains that since no votes counted, there will have to be a revote. The one persons who can be voted for are Denise and Sarah and since those two would cancel each other out, they will not vote. If there is another tie, then there will be a fire making challenge. There is a quick whispered conversation between Natalie and Michele and the Survivors go to revote. All votes go to Denise and the Queenslayer is now out of the game. Bummer! Denise was the one I was rooting for to win the whole shebang, but I hardly ever get what I want in this game, do I? I am like the Reem Daly of recappers. Denise takes her ouster in good humor, naturally, and Yosemite Ben is particularly broken up about her leaving. Post-tribal on Night 36. Tony continues his harangue of Yosemite Ben and Sarah for not listening to him. He decides he is going out at night to search for the now-returned hidden immunity idol. He cleverly puts some coals in a shell and goes out into the jungle to start a fire and search for an idol by the light of a small campfire. He sticks his hands into different crevices and tree boles, uses some long palm fronds to light the ends and use them as a torchlight, with little bits of burning material falling off onto the jungle floor. I am surprised Tony did not manage to burn down the entire island with his nighttime shenanigans. And then the sun comes up and everyone else goes out looking for the idol as well, falling all over each other in their respective hunts. Here’s a question: would the idol have been hidden again so quickly after Tribal council or would it have been done the next morning? I can imagine there was a walkie-talkie conversation between a producer and an intern stationed near camp with a copy of the idols, ready for the word to hide the new one at the drop of a hat. In what looks like morning light, Natalie manages to find the idol and she runs off with Michele to open it and quietly celebrate the discovery. Ben and Tony lament their inability to find it and Yosemite Ben states that if the two, you know, MEN couldn’t find it then it either isn’t out there or one of the girls has it. Yeah, okay, whatever you say, big guy. Immunity Challenge time. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Beacon Blue shirt, for those keeping score at home. Today the Survivors will, as Probst loves saying, race through a series of obstacles to untie a buoy with a key. The key unlocks a chest with two sandbags, which the Survivors must use to land on a small disc platform. Once both sandbags are on the disc, that Survivor wins immunity. Survivors ready? GO! This is a physical challenge, along with some hand-eye coordination, so Michele is never going to win it. Let’s not even mention her. Natalie is first up until the netcrawl on the beach, which Yosemite Ben manages to get slightly ahead of her. Ben manages to land one bag followed by Tony a little later. Every is tossing bags but it is really between the two men and Tony comes out the winner. Koru Beach, post challenge. Natalie is focused on breaking up the triumvirate of Sarah-Ben-Tony, thinking that Sarah would be the most likely person to flip and vote out Ben. Maybe, maybe not. Tony pulls Sarah aside and points out that neither Michele nor Natalie are out looking for an idol, feeding his suspicion that one of them has the idol. Honestly, how hard would it have been for those girls to go off into the jungle and pretend they are looking for idols in order to mislead the rest of them? It seems like a basic Survivor tenet: confuse the opposition. Tony hatches one of his #BATSHITCRAZYBOSS plans to hide out in his Spy Nest and have Sarah draw Natalie out there and suss out her plan. And what do you know, it works! But it works because Natalie has hidden the idol in her buff wrapped around her wrist and Sarah spies it like Twinnie was a tweaker trying to talk their way out of a ticket. Tony decides they should put their votes on Michele because Natalie will play the idol for herself. For her part, Michele knows the votes will be coming for her and the two girls talk. Sarah and Yosemite see them and Sarah says, “Those girls are scheming.” Okay….and? What is your point? Should they just be rolling over to accept their fate like well-behaved young ladies? Are you, Sarah, the only woman who is allowed to play Survivor “like a man” would? It is a little hypocritical of her to complain out of one side of her mouth how she is perceived in the game and how she speaks about other women playing in the game out of the other side. Pick a lane, Sarah. Yosemite Ben, meanwhile, has a chat with Sarah about voting him out. He volunteers himself for the chopping block, noting that her speck at tribal the night before was so good that if she votes him out she can use it for the final argument to prove she was not dragged along by Tony. Ben gets very emotional and tells us that he feels that he now has friends, which is worth more to him than anything else in the game. The two of them are torn up at the likelihood of Sarah voting him out for her own game play. There are a lot of tears and declarations of love and respect. The thing is, I can see why Ben would feel having friends is worth more to him than the grand prize. He is hardly the warm and fuzzy type who makes friends easily, who keeps friends easily, and who trusts people easily. On the other hand, two million dollars can buy you a lot of companionship. And a yacht. Tribal Council, Night 37. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Explorer Blue shirt, for those keeping score at home. Probst starts with a speech about Survivor serving as a “well-intentioned but relentless adversary” that pushes the Survivors to deal with stuff out there. So, Survivor is like therapy? Way to overinflate yourself and your primary purpose, Jeff, which is to entertain me. If people grow and learn during their experiences, well that is just fine and dandy but I do not give a rats ass because I don’t personally know these people or anything about how they actually live and deal with their lives and families. I have my favorites – we all do – and the ones I dislike during the game. And these choices also shift throughout a season. I started off not even remembering some of them, like Sophie and Michele, only to end up at the very least admiring them or downright rooting for them to get to the end. Others I never change my mind about, like Adam or any random Hantz you would care to name. And the thing is, no matter how much I might grouse about there here, complain about their gameplay or their attitude or their nosehairs, once they are out of the game, they are back to being a full human being with all respect and kindness due to them in the real world. When I hear about the Twitter mob and SJWs going after Denise because she held her hand up in Jeremy’s face, calling her a racist and spewing all kinds of garbage at her enough to drive her and a number of other Survivors off of social media entirely that is when the line is crossed. That sort of behavior out in the real world, searching the Survivors out in order to specifically target them for harassment for a TV gameshow is weak, childish, and should be stopped. Except for anyone named Hantz. Okay, rant over. Back to the show. Sarah votes tonight in order to advance her game. Michele hopes she survives. The usual. Time to vote. Probst goes to tally the votes. He invites anyone who has a hidden immunity idol to play it. Natalie turns to Michele and whispers she has a bad feeling. Probst then nods his head to read the votes and Natalie jumps up, telling him to wait! She gives him her idol that everyone else knows about. Probst reads the votes. Ben. Michele. Ben. Michelle. Ben. Tony is very surprised by this, as is the jury. As Ben gets his torch, he turns to the jury as says, I hope you guys are ready to party! He gives Probst a hug before he leaves, and this is definitely a different Ben than we have seen before. He seems calmer, more centered and in a much better place that his first go ‘round. I love this show but I HAAAAATE that this finale is three hours long and feels like a bit of a grind. What idiot thought this was a good idea rather than having at least one more episode next week? Day 38 .Immunity challenge time. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Havana Coffee shirt, for those keeping score at home. Coffee sounds like a really good idea right now. The challenge is a repeat of a classic: the Mousetrap. Starting with one BALL, the Survivors will have to drop a ball into the chute as the BALL makes its way down the loops to the bottom where it will shoot out one of two exits. The players will have to catch the ball before it drops and feed it into the chute again. More balls will be added at regular intervals. Oh, and one hand will be tied behind their back. Survivors ready? GO! As the Survivors concentrate, Probst launches into some Survivor history: out of the three times they have done this challenge, the person who won the challenge won the game. Also Michele is the only one of the four of them who did win the final challenge in their season. There are no issues while the Survivors have two BALLS in their mousetrap, but it is when the third BALL is added that Tony has some trouble. I assume he has only handled two BALLS at a time. Four BALLS are dropped and Sarah loses concentration for a moment, and she is out. It is down to Natalie and Michele. Now it is time for five BALLS in the mousetrap. Michele looks very steady as she concentrates while Natalie has a couple of near misses, but she is fast, snatching at least two BALLS out of the air. Finally Michele loses her rhythm and drops, leaving Natalie the winner of the final Survivor challenge. Now it is up to her to figure out who comes with her in the end and who has to make fire. I think we are all agreed that she really has to get rid of Tony at this point. Post challenge, Koru Beach, Day 38. Everyone not named Natalie practices making fire. You know who is surprisingly incompetent at this task? Tony AND Sarah. You know who is surprisingly competent? Michele. And thus, I finally decided to come around and root for Michele to win this. At the beginning of the season there is no way…NO WAY I could have predicted it would come down to this. With some many other favorites in the game, this was impossible to foresee. Michele has some problematic stuff I haven’t liked, such as the seeming obsession with Wendell and I have certainly had a lot of fun at her expense on that part of it, but she has won a couple of clutch immunities, she has had advantages whether given or earned or purchased. She has had to play scrappy without the physical strength of many of the Survivors and she has not been mean or cruel to anyone in her gameplay. Sometimes it is a matter of making peace with how people get to the end. And sometimes it gets down to fire. Tribal Council. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Rainy Afternoon shirt, for those keeping score at home. The jury comes in and is missing a member: Sophie. Probst says she is feeling under the weather and the rest of the jury will fill her in on what happens with as little bias as possible. Surrrrrrrrrrrrrre they will, Jeff. Yosemite Ben has clipped his beard into a forked marvel. He looks less like a miner and more like a Viking. Ben Ragnarsson is born. Michele says she practiced making fire as soon as she got back to camp. Sarah informs Probst that if she is making fire, she is certain it will be against Tony. She starts crying about how much she loves her partner Tony, and uses the analogy that if they are going to shoot each other, she would rather it be that way and then Tony displays a skill that I have underappreciated in him during his previous seasons. He makes a dumb joke to lighten an otherwise heavy situation by saying, “What, you wanna shoot me now?” It makes Sarah laugh, it breaks the tension, it changes the pressure of the situation. In this moment, I can see how Tony is probably a pretty good cop. He is relatable when he wears his lack of intellectual acumen on his sleeve and that can make people a lot more comfortable. It is not like Tony will ever be Yul or Ethan in terms of intelligence, but in this our #BATSHITCRAZBOSS is King. Back to the game, Natalie expresses her thought process that she is not totally confident that she can beat Tony at the end. She picks Michele to go with her to the end, so the fire battle is between Tony and Sarah, as advertised. Michele looks nonplussed. I think this was a mistake on Natalie’s part. She should have either taken the chance to beat Tony and get the biggest threat out, like Chris did with Devens (which I’m still mad about), or she should have taken Sarah and let Michele take him out. If Tony survived and he and Sarah were both at the end, there would have been a lot of arguments about who did what and who will the jury believe as to which of them was leading that alliance, leaving an opening for the default votes to fall to Natalie. But this is the decision she made, so let’s see what happens. FIRE! It is the usual set up. Two barrels with the same supplies: coconut husk, magnesium and a small knife, sticks, a string to burn and a flag to raise. The task begins and Probst narrates the action like a golf match. There is no way to make this sound at all interesting. They both get flames going and Sarah’s flame starts burning high, reaching the rope but that is because she used all her coconut husk and it falls back down. Tony builds a large structure and while they both are burning the rope, it is Tony who manages to raise his flag first and thus he is in the finale three. The two have a tender goodbye before Sarah’s flame is snuffed. Oh, just stop talking and go already! I am so over all this weepy lovefest shit that has been going on this entire season. Koru Beach, Day 39. Breakfast time. We get the traditional talking heads where each finalist discusses their path to the final. Natalie recognizes her “non-traditional” route, Michele feels the sting of her previous win has finally gone away, and Tony is pretty confident on how he has played his game. Also that bacon looked pretty tasty. Final Tribal Council. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Thai Basil shirt, for those keeping score at home. The Gods are displeased with this final three and have opened up the heavens to pour rain down on them. Remind me again why the Tribal Council area is not covered, at least the jury box. Sophie is there but she looks like death warmed over and barely raises her head the entire time they are out there. Yul starts off with a complimentary opening statement. Boring. Denise asks what their missteps in the game were. Natalie says getting voted out first. Duh. Michele says her one on one alliances were good but she never got in a bigger alliance. Oh, and Wendell was at fault or something. Tony doesn’t think he had any missed opportunities. Nick is a Bitter Betty toward Tony blindsiding him. Same with Jeremy. Adam compliments Natalie at how well she crushed Jurassic Island. Boston Rob asks why Natalie separated herself from everyone on Jurassic Island. She gives some reasons but also owns up to being a strong personality and knows that she is not everyone’s cup of tea. Parvati asks how Tony managed to blindside so many people and not have everyone mad at him. He launches into a hilarious explanation of his Spy Nest over the water well and has the entire jury laughing at his antics. See? A rare ability to make people laugh in otherwise serious situations. Wendell asks Michele to explain her outwit part of the game. She comes back with her adaptability in the game with all of the challenges she faced. Ben Ragnarsson complements her ability to play the game and says he can see how she won her original game. Probst directs the jury to start asking the Outplay parts of the game. Wendell wants Natalie to explain and she owns up that the social part is weak for her but this is her strength. She goes through the list of all the stuff she found or won on Jurassic Island and it really is an impressive list of accomplishments. There is talk of winning challenges. Tony was surprised he won four, Michelle mentions the shifting landscape of the game day by day and how immunity was so important. Boston Rob then asks Natalie why she didn’t go against Tony in the fire challenge. She says she wanted to pit the alliance against each other. Tony tells the story about his extortion and gets the entire jury laughing once again. Michele mentions that all of the good things in her game came from the edge, like advantages. Probst moves it to Outlast and invites a final commentary by the Survivors. Natalie focuses on working with the hand she was dealt, Michele mentions surviving fifteen of nineteen tribal councils, Tony talks about playing as himself rather than going full throttle with strategy and idol-hunting. After they are done speaking, random jury members talk about how much each of the three deserve to be up there and in the final three. There is a standing ovation and then Probst calls for the vote. Time to vote. We see several of the jury members voting, many of them pausing to think before writing their choice. Rob votes for Tony after telling Natalie she should have taken him out in order to play a perfect game. Parvati votes for Natalie, complimenting all she has accomplished. Nick speaks about how hard it is to be on the outs the whole time, but we do not see his vote. Ben Ragnarsson votes for Tony with a “Right on brother.” Probst collects the urn and tells them he will see them back in Los Angeles for the reading of the votes (NO YOU WON’T!) and walks off with the urn. Michele laughs that this was the longest season ever. No, it wasn’t, but this finale sure was. Seriously, three house. You suck, CBS. Finally we are back in Probst’s garage. He shows us the final three via Zoom windows and invites their loved ones to join them. Natalie’s boyfriend, who may be the lead singer in Shinedown, joins her. Michele’s sister, whom we met earlier in the season, does not practice social distancing on Michele’s couch. Tony’s adorable kids and wife join him. Finally, Probst reads the votes. Tony. (Rob) Natalie. (Ethan) Natalie. (Parvati) Tony. (Danni) Nat. (Jeremy) Tony. (Yul) Natalie. (Tyson) Tony. (Wendell, who added “Mr. Spy Nest” and “The GOAT” which, no. That is still Sandra) Tony. (Adam) Tony. (Sophie, barely upright in the voting booth) Tony. (Kim) Tony. (Nick. Boo! Should have been a Michele vote) Tony. (Denise) That’s enough. Tony is the winner of the $2,000,000.00 prize for Season 40. Winners at War. Does this mean we have to now refer to him as #BATSHITCRAZYBOSSKING? Unseen votes for Tony: Ben, Sarah, Amber. For the end, Probst asks Tony what winning this means, and his response is that this means he will be able to make sure his family is secure, which means even more in this time we are experiencing now. Probst apologizes for being a rude host and cutting everyone off and I would like to point out that it didn’t have to happen like this, Jeff! Well, that is it for Survivor 40. For a war, there wasn’t nearly enough blood, just a scraped elbow from Boston Rob and Ethan getting the vapors. The season had its ups and downs, but it is not high on my list of favorites. The Edge of Extinction is a terrible twist leading to a bloated jury and turning the final three into a joke. Fire tokens lead to some interesting twists but all the idols and advantages also muddle the game a bit rather than keeping it purely on physical or emotional skills of the players. Probst promises us Survivor 41 in the fall but I am slightly cynical this will happen, at least as the world stands today. And when he encourages people to apply, specifically mentioning sixteen and seventeen year olds applying, I am well and truly appalled at the idea. So we have that shitstorm to look forward to in the autumn. Thanks for sticking with me, thanks for reading, thanks for commenting. Stick around through the summer since there is no Big Brother in the foreseeable future and let’s just hang out, though at a responsible distance, of course. Get yourself a Fisty mask to keep people far away and take care of yourselves and your loved ones. You mean the world to me, and I’m not just saying that so you will vote for me at the end. Peace and love and wash your hands.
  15. Better than Elon Musk's kid's name. That one is like a cat walked across the keyboard.
  16. So by now you have probably watched the penultimate episode of Survivor 40: Winners at Cordial Relations Due to Pre-existing Relationships Except For Ben and Jeremy. Thus, you already know this was a whole lot of filler and a few nuggets of fiber. And we STILL don’t know who is coming back from Jurassic Island! Honestly, I was so infuriated at the end I was awake for two more hours! Okay, so maybe that was because I was on a roll in Candy Crush Soda, but that is a different subject. Let’s get on with this bloated extravaganza. Post tribal council on Koru beach, nightvision mode. My big takeaway is that Michele uptalks, like, a LOT. She is not happy that Jeremy did not play his advantage and claims that now everyone knows about her advantage. I think I missed a step because I did not see how her advantage was outed, but in the cold light of day I figured out that she knows Jeremy told Tony because of the antics of “should I or shouldn’t I” at the tribal council. One thing I will say about Michele: she does have a handle on the alliances and movements of many of the players. She is just incapable of creating and maintaining a solid alliance or being trusted enough to be in on a vote. When Michele is laying out the Sarah-Tony-Ben solid alliance, she is spot on, but Jeremy does not believe her assertions. Can’t really blame him with her voting track record, but at least we at home can see she is right. The next morning, Denise tells the group she slept great! Yosemite Ben, never one for subtlety, takes her seriously and she has to explain she was being sarcastic. We get a very good confessional from Denise, discussing her emotional turmoil during this game and that she has come to conclude that she can “endure” and “let go” of the negative. A good lesson for all of us right now with the pandemic fears and trials that are testing us as family units, as cities, states, as a country, as the world. And I am once again struck by what a fantastic counselor Denise must be in her real life and how much I would love for her to be my life coach. Tony, on the other hand, would make me a little nervous because, in an hilarious conversation with Jeremy, he conflates ten days as two weeks. Jeremy tries and tries to get him to see reason that two weeks is actually fourteen days, but Tony insists that he works five days a week and gets two days off, so five days is one week. Jeremy just can’t with him, trying to explain that they are there for thirty-nine days with no days off and finally gives up. The thing is, Tony is looking at it as he works on the day of the challenge and tribal council, so he considers the days after tribal council are his “off” days. He claims he is working smarter, not harder. He is not wrong, but that is because Sarah is doing a lot of the intellectual heavy lifting for the Cops-R-Us team. The two cops consider themselves rock solid with Ben as a final three, which may or may not be their best choice. On the other hand, I do not think the Dinosaurs would vote Ben to win with any sort of enthusiasm, so he is probably a better choice for their final three. Since Jeremy is on Ben’s hit list, Sarah knows she has to do some work to convince Ben to vote out Nick instead of Jeremy, using Tony’s shield theory. Yosemite Ben comments that Nick is playing a shady game and everyone sees it, and the editors give us a great montage of Nick skulking around looking shady, sidling up to conversations and looking furtive while just standing around. Immunity Challenge time! Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Wave Top shirt, for those keeping score at home. I like this challenge because it combines speed, stamina, and skill. The Survivors will have to toss two BALLS up on a structure and land it in a chute, then step through a grid pattern to catch the ball before it hits the sand. Once they have both balls they will have to dig under a bar and then solve a slide puzzle. Winner also earns two fire tokens. Survivors ready? GO! Jeremy gets both is balls and is digging before the rest of them. Hilariously at one point, Yosemite Ben’s BALL hits the side and careens off to the side so that he has to search for it before going again. Eventually everyone is working on their puzzle except for Michele, who ends up not catching a single BALL the entire challenge. During his narration, Probst throws some shade at Tony, calling out his failure at the slide puzzle during his first season and then saying, “Tony is going much more slowly like he understands what he is doing.” That made me snort. Eventually, it is Nick, the target of Cop-R-Us that wins the puzzle. He may be a furtive creeper vampire, but Nick is a smart fellow. I am also guessing that he practiced slide puzzles in the off season. After he wins, Michele starts crying, upset that she couldn’t even get one BALL. The rest of the tribe shows genuine care and concern for her, reassuring her and even Yosemite Ben, heartless jerk though he can be, hugs her and comforts her and reminds her she never game up. Class move. Post challenge back at Koru beach. Nick hangs up his immunity necklace and turns around for the traditional congratulations but no one is there – they have scampered off to the side to tease him. It reminds me of baseball when a rookie gets his first home run. The tradition is for his teammates to completely ignore him for a minute, then swarm him with bro-hugs and fist bumps. Oh, how I miss you, MLB! Lazy warm Sunday afternoons are just not the same. With the Survivors, now that Nick has immunity, the talk turns to which person is the next target. Sarah posits that Denise should go as an easy target. Yosemite Ben, on the other hand, feels a fairly solid alliance with Denise in that she will vote the way he wants her to vote, so he is less enamored of this plan and pivots back to his main target: Jeremy. His argument is the tired old meatshield one, but the numbers are dwindling here. How many shields are you going to need when you are, arguably, in the better physical shape and can make fire faster than the rest of them? It’s not like Michele will ever be able to form a coalition to vote you out at this point. Ben decides he wants to create some distrust between Jeremy and Michelle and goads Jeremy to get the 50/50 coin from Michele, then inartfully whispers to Michele that Jeremy was saying he could get her 50/50 coin. Nick and Jeremy recognize that Denise is a smokescreen as a vote, and when Michele and Jeremy compare notes, they laugh about Yosemite Ben’s attempt at subtle manipulation. Jeremy wants to get rid of Ben and he, Nick, and Michele try to rope in Tony to vote out Yosemite Ben…but Nick and Tony go to Ben and spill the beans and decide they are going to split the votes between Jeremy and Michele. Nick thinks he has some power here and is thinking ahead to winning the game, but the only power Nick has is around his neck. Well, that and turning into a bat that shits on Tony. Tribal Council time. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Mayan Treasure shirt, for those keeping score at home. The jury troops in and I swear at first I thought Boston Rob had duct tape on his cracked elbow. It was later determined to be a buff, which I blame on the terrible background color chosen for this season (brown? burgundy?). Much of the talk is about trust issues, and it very interestingly devolves into what happens post-Survivor, back in the real world. Every one of them experienced the same thing: having suspicions of everyone around them, from co-workers down to spouses. It seems like a very interesting dynamic that needs to be explored by a good counselor. Too bad Probst turned out to be so bad at a daytime chat show. It seems like there was a very specific form of PTSD and Jeremy specifically says he determined that this season was not going to get inside his head. I hope that stays true after this vote. Talk pivots to Michele’s advantage as it is the last time it can be used. She determines she will be using it, but does not specify who it will be for, which makes Yosemite Ben a little nervous. And miracle upon miracles, not one of these goombahs gets up to whisper to someone else. With that, it’s time to vote. We see three of them: Denise votes for Michele. Tony votes for Jeremy. Jeremy votes for Ben. Probst goes to tally the votes. But first he invites anyone who wants to play a hidden immunity idol to do so. All heads swivel to Michele, who brings her 50/50 coin to Probst. He explains how it works and asks if she is playing it for herself. She hems and haws for a few moments then decides she will play it for herself. She flips it and the coin lands on Safe. She asks Probst if she can keep the coin. He smiles and says, “No.” He starts reading the votes. Michele. Does not count. Michele. Does not count. Ben. Jeremy. Ben. Jeremy. Jeremy. And with that, the Boston firefighter is voted out and his torch is snuffed. He tells Tony it was a bad move and takes off down the Reem Daly Memorial Rejection Path. His two tokens are bequeathed to Michele and he is off to Dinosaur Island. Post-tribal, Ben and Tony delight in their gameplay. Yosemite Ben likens his rivalry with Jeremy to an old west shootout and he came out on top. I would like to remind Ben he is wearing a black hat, which means he is not the traditional good guy he thinks he is. Meanwhile, Michele is pissed at Nick for flipping the vote from Ben. She spills the complete plan to Nick, that she is on the bottom and then Nick is next. She calls him naïve, and she is not wrong. Not that she is going to go down without a fight. When Day 32 dawns, Denise is looking in a mirror and can someone please tell me when they got a mirror and why? (Message from Tsy: “More importantly, does Nick see himself in the mirror?”) Michele’s plan to wreak havoc is to try and sow seeds of unease with Sarah and Tony. Weak target, lady. She would have been better off with Denise and Ben, working the “Tony and Sarah are solid” angle. She acknowledges no one trusts her and she doesn’t trust anyone. She claims no one is talking to her as Sarah is TALKING TO HER. Ugh. So annoying. Michele does point out to Sarah that Tony is running the show, which Sarah doesn’t buy, but Michele accurately says that perception is everything to the jury. Sarah ends up telling the rest of her alliance about it and they all agree Michele must go. This telegraphs to us veteran Survivor watchers that the chances of Michele going home at the next Tribal Council are pretty slim. Meanwhile, over on Exile Island, Jeremy is being treated to a typical meal: two tablespoons of cooked rice on a banana leaf. In Hollywood, they call that overeating at lunch. Yul, whose face is getting dangerously close to Danni’s Skeletor look, brings back a placard from the Reem Daly Memorial Surrender Flag. Parvati jokes that he needs to stop reading it and someone else jokes that he will drop it and run. Well, of course he won’t because he’s Yul. Not in his wheelhouse! The placard reads, “Every day on Extinction requires tremendous drive. You’re drawing on reserves to keep the dream alive. So an image for inspiration, it’s of you all alone, sporting the crown of Sole Survivor, sitting proudly on the Throne of Stone.” First of all, it’s the Stone of Scone and I don’t think any of these people are the Pretender to the Scottish throne. Danni tells us that every time there is a clue it’s like a bomb went off and everyone scatters. I personally liked Tyson’s analogy, which was a bunch of teenagers in front of a convenience store and when a cop pulls up, everyone scatters. I suspect Tyson had a lot of hands on experience at that particular activity. Rob and Danni both try to for a big rock in the water, while Wendell makes for the top of the mountain. Right behind him is Natalie, but when he heads up the hill, she keeps on going. As she puts it, she has been on Jurassic Island longer than everyone and she knew exactly what the clue meant: a throne-like rock along the beach beyond the stairs to the top of the mountain. Natalie thought briefly about keeping the box for herself, but decided to read it out loud with the whole group as a sort of exile activity box. The prize is to place a disadvantage on one player by selling it to someone else for as many tokens as she can get. But who to sell it to? Turns out to be Nick! He reads the parchment and finds out that the player will not know who put the disadvantage on him and it will cost him eight fire tokens. Nick has six tokens and he decides to hit up Michele for the other two tokens. Luckily, she has two she just received from Jeremy! She agrees to give the tokens because she figures if she doesn’t win immunity then she is going to Exile and tokens won’t matter. Immunity Challenge time. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Thundercloud shirt, for those keeping score at home. The challenge is a physical one: stack blocks like dominoes along a beam and then knock them over with the last one falling to hit a gong. The twist this time is that the Survivors will have to high step over a grid alongside the beam, and the grid itself is not stable, meaning if it gets bumped, it will bump the beam and possibly destroy any progress in setting up the blocks. So you have to be steady but speedy at the same time. Challenging! Two fire tokens will be won and this is also the last day those tokens can be spent. Probst announces the disadvantage, which is thirty percent more beam and blocks to stack, and Tony’s face falls. He is certain it is going to be him. But wait! It is Ben instead! Nick explains to us that he chose Ben in order to try and prevent him from winning and sow some chaos between Tony, Sarah, and Ben. For his part, Yosemite Ben makes a perfect case to Probst as to why he should be brought to the end: he has received no tokens from anyone, he has had disadvantages arrayed against him, and he assumes he has not made too many friends on this season. Well yeah. To have a friend you need to act like a friend, dumbass. Being abrasive, secretive, and rude will not win people to your cause. Just ask any available Hantz. Probst says they will pick for their spots, which makes me think there is not a height differential on this. Unfair to diminutive Tony against lanky Ben, but let’s watch the actual challenge before getting up in arms about it. Survivors ready? GO! The angles shown in the challenge are hard to tell but it does look like some adjustment was made. The grid comes up to the knees of both Denise and Yosemite Ben, so I don’t need to cry foul for that reason. All the Survivors start from the closest part of the beam and I wonder if it would have been better to start from the front, nearest the end, where they would have been fresher on the longer portions of the challenge. Since none of them try that, I am speculating that it was a rule they had to start from the same place. Well, except for Ben with his thirty percent extra. Sucks to be you, Ben. A few blocks get knocked over, requiring that player to bring the block back to the start before replacing it, but for the most part, everyone is very steady and methodical. Amazingly, even with the extra space, Ben is about one block away from winning but instead Michele manages to knock her blocks over and hit the gong before he can do it himself. There is general frowns and frustration from the rest of the players and when Tony tries knocking his blocks, they fail at about number five, so no way was he winning this thing. Michele gets her immunity necklace from Probst and she points out to Jeff that no one is clapping for her. Oh, boohoo. Put your big girl panties on. Post challenge on Day 34. Denise does something interesting: she says since she is most likely going home that night, she is going to use all her fire tokens to buy a big bag of rice so she can go to Dinosaur Island with a full belly. Um…okay. That is rather defeatist but perhaps it is part of her new let go philosophy? Nope. Total fake out. She knows she isn’t going home but was pretending so Nick would just relax at camp that afternoon. PSYCH! Oh, sure there is some distraction at pretending there really will be a Denise vote when Tony climbs into his spy nest and overhears a conversation at the watering hole between Sarah, Yosemite Ben, and her about possibly voting Tony out. Nick is very relaxed now and feels he is in power, since his plan worked to keep Ben from winning. Nick goes to Tony and discusses what a bad idea it is to keep Ben in the fire making challenge, which Tony does actually consider. He works on Sarah to convince her to vote out Denise instead of Nick. Now, I actually agree with this because Denise is much more of a jury threat than Nick is, though Sarah thinks his underdog story is worth consideration. This group, however, I think will be much more interested in what a Survivor has accomplished during the season and Denise is right on point with doing what she needed to do, with outwit, outlast, outplay. Tribal Council time. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Laguna Blue shirt, for those keeping score at home. He starts with Michele and asks her how much she needed immunity. She likens her need for the necklace to Probst’s need for a blue button down and khakis, which is one of the funniest things I’ve heard all season. Even the jury likes it as they are all smiles. Ben talks about getting the disadvantage and where it came from: someone on the jury or someone still in the game. Nick glances furtively at the jury, and he looks guilty enough to need a public defender of his own. Talk turns to Denise choosing to buy a big bag of rice and she brings up not wanting to scramble in the last few days, although she does not want to be exiled, she is not going to try and stir up anything as she feels her moves are limited at this point. Over on the jury Adam whispers to Kim and Sophie that he has to be a fake out by Denise and both women look irritated that they have to sit near Adam in the first place and ignore his comment. Ha! And now it’s time to vote. We see Nick vote for Denise and say she's the Queenslayer but he is slaying the Queenslayer and it was pretty awkward for a closing argument. I’m going to need to upgrade my lawyer, please. Also I am pleased to report no one whispered during this Tribal Council, either. Two in a row! New world record! Probst goes to tally the votes. No one, and by no one I mean Ben, plays an immunity idol. Nick. Denise. Denise. Nick. Nick. Nick. For the first time, Nick gets his torch snuffed and makes his way down the path. Probst promises that the next day someone from the Edge of Extinction will be back competing for the two million dollars. Jurassic Island, Day Thirty five. Last morning of exile. We actually get a talking head from Ambuh and how this has forced her to slow down and think about life and what matters most. Geez, it’s like the editors knew many of us are experiencing that sort of thing right now ourselves on our own little Exile Islands. The difference is we can’t climb to the top of the mountain in Fiji to watch the sunrise. As for the rest of this last fifteen minutes of the show, there is a lead up to the final challenge for the Dinosaurs but do we see it? Nooooooo, we’re holding off until the finale before we find out which person is sneaking their way back onto the main island. Nick is given the honor of marking the final hashmark . Wendell brings scrolls to everyone, which is the list of what their tokens will buy them. He tells us he has two tokens which will buy him one advantage in the challenge. I paused the screen while Tyson was reading it and it looks like two tokens is one advantage, four tokens is two advantages, six tokens is all three advantages, while six tokens gets you a hidden immunity idol. Yul gives a thoughtful rumination on the introduction of fire tokens in the game and if I only listened to him, I would be totally pro-fire token. He uses phrases like, “It brings a complexity to the game” and erudite shit like that. Never change, Yul. Ethan laughs about having nothing and Natalie having a zillion tokens, enough to buy everything on the list and more. She has fourteen – FOURTEEN! – tokens! Wandering off by herself, she purchased peanut butter and all the advantages. She has an immunity idol she purchased earlier, so she buys a second one and gives it to Tyson. He promises that if he doesn’t make it back in the game, he will save the token for her after the game. He tells us, in an emotional aside, that he never felt that kind of generosity from another player in the game before, which is pretty sweet. It also makes me suspect that Tyson will once again be the one coming back in the game when we get the challenge. I’m okay with that. Next week: the finale and God-knows-what kind of chaotic Zoom meeting with the Survivors. At least Probst won’t be torturing us by talking to random pre-selected audience members in painfully awkward conversations. And for that I raise a glass of Corona Extra with a lime on the rim.
  17. In case you haven't noticed, Fisty now has masks in his shop. Stay safe and grouchy
  18. Yeah, Parvati said it best from the Jury box: "Oh, Kim! Why?" And Kim tweeted a picture of the peanut butter and cookies and called it "Two million dollars."
  19. Happy Survivor Day, the only reason I know it’s Wednesday. Post tribal council after Sophie’s surprise ouster finds Sarah PISSED! OFF! She pulls Tony aside and pretty much screams at the top of her lungs at him. Girl is angry that he has, as she calls it, screwed up her game. Every time I hear someone on Survivor make this argument, I have to increase my alcohol load because he isn’t there to ensure she wins two million bucks. He is there to play is own game and that will include moves that are not beneficial to her. The fact that a previous winner uses that argument frosts my earlobes. With Tony and Sarah, their relationship feels like a natural sibling rivalry and respect, at least until Sarah mentions to us that if she and Tony were partners on the job, one of them would be fired. Or did she mean fired upon? I know what I would pick if I had to spend eight hours in a car on patrol with Tony. In other news, Yosemite Ben takes everything personally. I’m with Jeremy when he calls Ben “a big baby.” Not to his face, you understand, because Jeremy isn’t totally stupid. But yeah, that frustration with Yosemite Ben acting like a petulant teenager is getting old real fast. When Jeremy asks him if he wants to talk, Yosemite Ben just says no. No reason given, he just doesn’t want to talk. And that, my friends, is how NOT to manage a jury. Even in his winning season, this was not Ben’s strong suit, but he was up against the unlikeable Chrissy and wet noodle Ryan, which is why he won. And, I suspect, is why Yosemite Ben is out to get Jeremy: the firefighter has an easygoing charm and is well-liked by everyone. Even Tony says Ben needs to put his big boy panties on. Though he may have been referring to Sarah in that moment. While Ben and Tony talk to try and repair their trust, Tony gets pooped on by a bat, so now he is legitimately batshit crazy. Want proof? His spy shack is now a treehouse. Sarah knows it is there. And for some reason that is all we see of the spy shack. I hope it gets some play in a future episode because otherwise it feels like filler. On the other hand, it’s better than listening to Yosemite Ben complain about Jeremy for the umpteenth time. Kim decides it is time for her to make a move and her plan is to get rid of Tony. We see a segment of her going around talking to many other people about the need to get rid of the Batshit Crazy Boss. Yosemite Ben concedes she has a good point, Michele and Denise are totally on board, and Nick just looks happy someone it talking to him. He really wants to make a big move, but he is playing this season with professionals and is outmatched by many of the former winners. What is with Vampire Boy and his constant dumbstruck, eager-to-please expression that seems to perma-plastered to his face? I mean, Nick is not my favorite winner out of all of them or even on this particular tribe, but I do like his personal story and the fact that he came from extreme poverty and has made something of himself through hard work and education. Oh, and winning a million dollars on a prestige TV game show. He just seems to be constantly reacting to what is happening around him rather than making decisions and making moves himself. This does not get you a second win, sir. Jurassic Island and the Reem Daly Memorial Surrender Flagpole. Rob has a placard that gives the dinosaurs their challenge and a chance to earn two fire tokens: they must circle the island to find a lovely bunch of coconuts and bring them, one at a time, back to the Reem Daly Memorial Shelter. The first six to carry twenty coconuts wins two fire tokens. The other five get nothing. My first thought it this: have the challenge makers completely run out of ideas here? This is exactly the same as climb the mountain and bring back firewood. However, after some consideration I think this challenge is twofold: first, it gets them all up and out of the shelter and in motion. That is much better for filming them than just laying around doing yoga or meditating on the sand. Second, it actually is a way to get food to the now eleven persons stuck on the small island with not a whole lot of other resources to utilize and yet still stay within the rules of the game of not directly providing them with sustenance other than a tiny bit of rice. Sneaky devils, those Survivor producers! The exiles are up and running down the beach to get to the task. Rob is out first and sets a pretty fast pace but then he slips on some rocks and scrapes up his elbow pretty badly. We get a lot of juicy close ups of the blood running down his arm, which none of us really needed to see. Danni decides she is going to pace herself and funny enough we find out that she does endurance challenge races. Okay, while yes I have been making fun of how very, very thin she is, hearing the endurance race thing it now all makes sense that she is nothing but lean, ropey muscles with a BMI of 0.7%. According to Parvati, Tyson also does extreme sports, however Tyson himself said he could tell immediately he would never keep up with a couple of the women. And you all know who he is talking about: Natalie Beastmode. That girl is something else. She just powers through anything and manages to finish gathering the twenty coconuts first. Number two surprised me with Sophie finishing next. I did not see that coming! I had her pegged as strictly cerebral, but this proved me wrong. The girls lapped everyone else and then they have to wait to see who else will finish in the top. Yul is third and he actually seems surprised by this development. Tyson and Parvati walk in together holding coconuts up in triumph. The final slot is up for grabs, but it is a race between Wendell and Danni and when Danni takes a slip on the rocks – bad enough that the cameraman asks if she is okay – Wendell manages to complete the coconut pile. And while the race is over, Boston Rob keeps going until he gets his twenty count. A couple of the others are confused as to why he keeps going, but Wendell gets it: “He has pride.” Well, you say pride, but I say ego. As for Amber, she doesn’t even try to stop him. Like every wife out there, she knows perfectly well when to say something and, more importantly, when not to say something. At one point Adam spoke but I had forgotten he existed and I would like to keep it that way. Koru beach, Day 29. Everyone knows Sophie’s idol is back in play. Sarah continues her scolding of Tony and tells him, in essence, that he had better find that idol in order to protect her at the next vote. All the players are out wandering the jungle looking for the re-hidden idol and while Tony and Yosemite Ben and walking along, discussing Kim’s desire to get more aggressive and Tony’s complete trust in Nick, Ben casually moves a piece of bark and finds the idol. He makes an attempt at secreting it in his pants but Tony gleefully calls him out. In fact, Batshit Crazy Bossman Tony cannot control himself and runs his mouth continually about Yosemite Ben’s pitiful attempt at trying to hide the idol. If Tony were a more subtle player rather than the crazypants goofball that he is, he might have pretended not to notice, then worked to flush out the idol at tribal council. That is something Sarah would have done, but Tony just can’t help himself. He is so overly delighted at having some knowledge that he cannot help but blab it out over and over again. Ben rightfully points out to Tony that he really doesn’t have a reason to trust the cop after the blindside at the previous vote, but Tony pooh poohs that, saying it’s over, it’s in the past! They make up, then for some weird reason, Yosemite Ben picks Tony up like a bride and runs through the jungle with him. I mean…I know you have to make your own fun out there but that was just weird. Immunity Challenge time. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Hacienda Blue shirt, for those keeping score at home. For this challenge, there will be both a female and a male winner, so we know it is physical in some way, and both winners will get two fire tokens. With the numbers dwindling, it seems odd to have a dual winner challenge, thus narrowing the pool of potential candidates to boot, but I am just an observer here. The challenge itself is simple enough: tethered to a large overhead bucket, the Survivors must stand on a narrow beam and hold their arm up. If they move, the bucket will dump water on them. If they use the structure holding the bucket for support or if they touch it, they are out. Probst mentions that in previous seasons, this challenge took six hours, then they made it a little harder and it took less time. Now they have made it even more difficult because he has a tee time at four o’clock and this challenge needs to move along. Survivors ready? GO! Five minutes in, Yosemite Ben asks if Probst will be offering them food. Jeff smirks at the question and claims, “Not this early.” Ben wants peanut butter and cookies and the suggestion distracts Jeremy enough that he moves his arm and the bucket of water drenches him. Yosemite Ben, right next to Jeremy, loses his balance and briefly touches the support stricture. Probst is not certain if he actually touched the beam or not and asks for clarification. Ben sheepishly outs himself and steps off the platform, thus ending his go at immunity. Probst appreciated his honesty. I suppose Yosemite Ben might have gotten away with it, but would cheating be worthwhile? Let’s ask Felicity Huffman or Lori Laughlin! So the only guys left are Nick and Tony. All four women are still in it and looking strong. Oops! Spoke too soon! Sarah’s bucket moves and splashes her from head to toe. She’s out. And not bargaining starts. Nick offers Tony one of his fire tokens if he steps off, but Tony wants three immunities in a row, so he passes. After fifteen minutes, Probst brings out a big glop of peanut butter and chocolate along with cookies and milk. He offers anyone who wants to step out the chance to eat until the challenge is over. Kim almost immediately says she will do it, which come on, girl! You have been on the bottom, you know you have been on the bottom and out of the loop on a number of votes and yet you still manage to make the terrible decision to step down? Michele decides to jump off the same bridge as Kim, leaving Denise as the female winner. Literally two seconds later, Nick asks Tony for one of his tokens, to which Tony agrees and Nick steps off. This gives Tony the third immunity win in a row and also ends the food reward almost as soon as it started. Kim grabs the bottle of milk from Probst and the three sell outs shovel as much peanut butter and cookies into their mouths as quick as they can. Tony asks if he can eat too and Probst takes delight in denying him the pleasure. Post challenge. Kim is not happy her plan to backdoor Tony has been foiled. Nick isn’t so upset as he knew he was about to fall off and Jeremy is going home anyway, so he’s good. Meanwhile, Yosemite Ben outs the plan to vote out Tony to Batshit Crazy Boss himself. And now Kim is public enemy number one. Tony is worried about the “lower rent threats” banding together and coming after him. He wants Yosemite Ben to vote Kim and have a final four of Jeremy, Sarah, Ben, and Tony sticking together until the end. Ben, however just does not like Jeremy and will never like Jeremy, even to the point of refusing to look him in the eye when Jeremy tries to discuss putting their differences aside to work together. This is like watching a love affair gone awry. Michele is distraught at the thought of Jeremy going home, even though she feels compelled to vote for him. She gifts him with her fifty/fifty advantage to play tonight, which makes, what, the third time someone has played a token or advantage for Jeremy? Kim should have gladly voted to get rid of him after he foiled her plan of saving his ass by absenting himself a couple of tribal episodes ago. Anyway, to recap the recap: candidates for exile are Jeremy and Kim, with the small possibility of Nick thrown in for good measure. Tribal Council time. Probst is wearing a Behr Paint Secret Meadow shirt, for those keeping score at home. The active players are seated while the jury marches in and settles down. The tribal starts benignly enough with the usual questions about what happened at camp after the vote and Denise likens it to bad family therapy. Soon, however, we morph into the same old shit that has been happening at every tribal: people are out of their seats and whispering in each other’s ears about the vote, changing, reconfirming plans, reconfiguring plans, whisper whisper whisper. Probst starts narrating the action like he is calling the Kentucky Derby and please dear God in heaven do not EVER give Jeff that job. He is about as good at it as he is at talking to live audiences on finale night. I am SO over this crap. There needs to be a rule that whispering is not allowed. It is insulting to the viewers, it is insulting to the jury, and it is just really, really annoying to watch. Denise says it all right here. And then Jeremy reminds her – in full view of the jury, mind – that she is only safe on this vote. Wow, sounds like a threat. Denise gives no fucks and rolls her eyes at the jury. Time to vote because the whisper campaign is done. Probst goes to tally the votes. Anyone have a hidden immunity idol they want to play? Tony interrupts and asks Sarah if she feels safe. When she doesn’t answer, he digs into his bag to get his idol, but Sarah stops him and says she feels okay. Then Jeremy starts grinning and asks Tony if he should do it, while reaching into his pocket. Nick and Kim and Ben look confused as Jeremy vacillates on using the fifty/fifty advantage. In the end, he decides not to use it, but no one, other than he, Michele and Tony know what the hell just happened. Probst commences with reading the votes. Jeremy. Kim. Jeremy. Jeremy. Kim. Kim. Kim. Kim. And with that, Kim is voted off the main island. She is polite on her way out and gives her three tokens to Sarah, Michele, and Denise on her way to the Reem Daly Memorial Transport Skiff. So the three Jeremy votes were Denise, Kim, and Michele. The rest voted for Kim, including Nick. Rob calls Tony a boss. He forgot to add the “Batshit Crazy” honorific to that title. Next week, two hours! Well, why not? What else am I doing with my time?
  20. Ah, good to know.
  21. Okay so we just started watching "The Magicians." About four episodes in so far. Is anyone a fan of this show? Also watched the first episode of "The Last Kingdom" which is based on some Bernard Cornwall books. I like it!
  22. This Natalie was petite and from...Brazil? Argentina?
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