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CycleRob

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Everything posted by CycleRob

  1. I'm late to the game, but thanks to everyone who gave me a shout-out this season. It was fun to be recapping again and seeing some old faces along with the new ones. Much appreciation to all the admins who do the nitty-gritty, day in and day out, season after season. I think I'll return for Season 25, although I'm not sure how we top this season's finale and winner. Taylor is a true BB icon.
  2. 8:35 PM HT The remaining hammies sans Brittany are now rehashing tonight's competitions, sharing strategies for how they maneuvered the rope for the veto competition, how they kept track of colors in the HOH competition. Taylor was counting her toes at one point? Huh? Surely CR misunderstood. "He won all the iconic comps," Alyssa observes--BB Comics, OTEV, the Pride Slide. "It wasn't even close," Monte says charitably now that Michael has been sent packing. "Happy to be here with you guys, though," Monte shares. "Great group." Talk about Brittany's distress and Michael tossing her under the bus in his speech. Chatter and conviviality mixed with solemn silences for their departed OGG. Now they're talking about when they'll see their beloved ones again. Taylor is pondering how long it's been since she hugged Momma Taylor. They compare notes about Terrance and his lies. Terrance called someone a brat at one point, maybe Taylor? CR checks the other feed, which has briefly switched over to Turner soothing the troubled, Michael-less Brittany. Turner lies and says Brittany is one of his favorite people. Brittany is deeply aggrieved by Michael's exit but she knows it was necessary and it was quick so it "hurt less." Turner continues to pump her up. Brittany still distraught that Michael tossed her under Diane's bus and didn't hug anyone. Turner points out a lot of people leave the house that way. Brittany promises to hug everyone if/when she gets evicted. Turner and Brittany hugaboos.
  3. 8:25 PM HT After the brutal (but necessary) Michael boot, Monte, Turner, Alyssa, and Taylor are in one of the bedrooms, singing Michael's praises. He was a great competitor, one of the best evah, and they had to do it! Twitter is probably blowing up right now, muses Taylor. They had to take a shot, but great competitor, great guy. Rehash about how much Michael smoked them in the last HOH competition. The others have to explain to Turner what Michael said on his way out. Turner thought Michael meant that he was going to have something to say in his exit interview. Monte explains that Michael was acting like he was going to say something to them, the HG, but then he just stormed out instead. They're packing up all of Michael's stuff. More eulogizing of The Great Competitor and OGG Michael. "I can't believe that just happened," quavers Alyssa. "It's all a blur," admits Monte. CycleRob's feeds, perhaps stunned by Michael's eviction, start acting up, so CR will post.
  4. 8:50 PM HT Let's leap forward in time again... and still all four feeds are on the ex-cringemance. "What's your favorite way to cuddle?" asks a mindful Kyle. Alyssa mutters something that CR can't make out, and then Kyle grunts something that CR can't make out. Silence. Spooning. Kyle now informs Alyssa that he values kindness in a relationship (over frugality, apparently) and she is very kind. She says, "Thank you," and he says, "No, thank you." Cuddlecakes. Sweet nauseating muttercakes. "The thing I'll miss most is you," Kyle reveals. "Just so we're clear on that." "Really?" coquettes Alyssa. "Um hmm," responds Kyle. She says she'll miss him too. Heartfelt Kyle tells her he hopes that's the truth. She repeats that she will miss him. "For about a week," she adds impishly. Giggles. Shifting of positions. Interlocking fingers. "I love these gold earrings," Kyle compliments, perhaps hoping to add a day or two onto how long she'll miss him for. Good OGG, this is lame. CR would rather switch feeds and watch Turner listen to music on his headphones. Or maybe CR should just call it a night?
  5. 8:20-ish PM HT Let's leap a few minutes ahead and eavesdrop again on the ex-lovers, shall we? It's either that or trying to recap Monte snoozing in one of the bedrooms. Kyle and Alyssa are now talking about jobs. Kyle says he might be okay (CR assumes he means financially) when he leaves the BB house because he's frugal and had a very high-paying job for four years. "What does frugal mean?" questions our rather dim beauty. "It means when you don't spend a lot of money," Kyle explains, perhaps feeling rather professorial at this moment. Kyle says he only spends about $500 a month, which CR guesses is doable when you still live with mommy in Utah. But try living here in NYC on $500 a month, bitch! Alyssa confesses she spends more than that a month. Kyle projects that once he's banished from the house, he will continue to do Tik-Tok videos for all of his tween followers (okay, maybe Kyle didn't say the part about tween followers). "What about you?" Kyle asks expansively. "What are your big plans?" Alyssa ponders. The world yawns before her, ripe with possibility. "I want to be alone for awhile," she decides. "Yeah," Kyle says, deflated. She clarifies that she might only want to be alone for a few days. "I might want to get my own apartment in Tampa," she hints to her mommy-bound ex-love, but all he says is, "Really?" An apartment of one's own? This seems beyond Kyle's frugal imagination. "Who would you live with?" Kyle asks. "Myself," asserts Alyssa, feeling all Mary Tyler Moore. She might just make it after all, except in Tampa. "Do you have friends in Tampa?" questions Kyle, completely missing Alyssa's independent/modern girl theme. Alyssa says she doesn't, but she knows people in Orlando so it wouldn't be that long of a drive.
  6. 8:00 PM HT What? No one is recapping Kyle's final night in the house? Okay, CR will step up to the plate. Alyssa just went upstairs to the sofa outside the HOH to cuddle with her Dead Beau Walking. Except he's not exactly her beau anymore, since she supposedly broke up with him yesterday. But then after they broke up, they still did the unmentionable, apparently, perhaps as a "one more for the road" sort of thing? Now the doomed and spent lovers cuddle and giggle. They clasp each other in their arms, on the brink of romantic oblivion. "You're out of breath," Kyle informs her. More clasping. More sighing. They breathe together as one cringe-y entity. "Yeah, that sounded like fun," Kyle grunts, seemingly referring to something Alyssa was playing downstairs with Michael and Turner. "You missed out," Alyssa observes and then swings her hair back from her face to accommodate her ex-man in case he swoops in for any last night schmoopycakes. Finally, it's time for the ex-lovers to dig deep and reflect upon their experience together in this simulated environment that is BB. Kyle will start first. "How much gray is in my hair?" he queries. Alyssa mumbles something that sounds maybe like "kind of." She holds his face and neck in her hands in a way that looks like she's half ready to kiss him and half ready to choke him. "Wake up!" she insists to a groggy Kyle. "I'm an old man," he wisecracks to his Ex-Lady Fair. Now they're hiding behind their yellow bankie so they can (maybe) do some schmoopy away from CR's intrusive gaze. Behind the bankie, Kyle is talking about feeling frustrated and tired and Alyssa is so far away, even though she's right there under the bankie with him. "I wish we could have done our grilled cheese competition," Kyle sweet-talks Alyssa from behind the yellow bankie. This is CR's life, recapping this crud before bed on the east coast.
  7. 4:50 PM HT Kyle seems to be going on an apology tour around the house. Earlier he had a conversation with Taylor where he got quite weepy, and now he and Monte are talking and crying and wiping away their manly tears with bandanas and towels. Kyle is deeply remorseful and apologizes for what he said to Monte in the Have Naughty room, and he offers to let Monte punch him because "it will make me feel something other than what I'm feeling." Monte is a better man than CycleRob because he declines the offer. Monte now sharing his background and talking about his experience with race in America. He also talks about his friendship with Joseph and how he, Monte, was hurt by Kyle wanting to form an alliance that excluded people based on race. He tells Kyle that he doesn't hate him or even dislike him, he just didn't like his thought process about the Cookout 2.0 fears. Monte says that he "loves" Kyle as a person/human because he's solid and fun to be around and has relationships with everyone in the house, and these were all formed because of who Kyle is. It had nothing to do with skin color. Monte also mentions that he forgives Kyle for what he said in the Have Naughty room. (CR wishes he knew what Kyle said.) Monte is being very kind and genuine with Kyle. While Monte talks, Kyles fluctuates between acute listening and bowing his head in pariah shame. All in all, Kyle's apology tour is becoming like a Very Special Episode of Big Brother, or like an afterschool special focused on how to heal racial divisions.
  8. 11:10 AM HT Kyle and Taylor in the bathroom. Taylor chats amicably with him. Then she works on her lashes and brows while Kyle brushes his teeth white. Now Kyle is telling a story about how he had to learn a cheer at one point and botched it miserably. Taylor laughs, perhaps trying to help cheer up the gloomy lug. Now Kyle is lathering up for a shave, though his face already looks pretty hairless to CR. Cut to the BY couches. Alyssa sharing a story to Terrance and Monte about how she was a drama queen when she was little and fell off her bike. Now she shares that her knees are all scarred up from when she'd fall as a child, a most unwieldy child, apparently, and even as a flight attendant, she was a clumsy beauty, and would trip all the time. "One time I spilled red wine all over someone's iPad!" she confides. The guy was a wealthy businessman and Alyssa was deeply humiliated and traumatized. Her trainer has worked with her on ways to improve her balance. Taylor strolls out regally to the BY with perfect balance and posture to join them. Kitties.
  9. 10:35 AM HT The feeds are up, which means nothing much of interest is happening. Whenever something good is going on, the feeds shut down. Terrance, Alyssa, and Michael lounge outside on the Couches of Skank or whatever it is we used to call them. Monte is working out and Kyle is working out, but they are not working out together, even though they're near each other. A chopper overhead. Monte cracks a couple of unfunny jokes about them. "Oooo, a dog!" exclaims Alyssa. Where, where? CR strains his eyes. Has a random dog wandered onto the BB set? But no, CR guesses that Alyssa heard a dog barking somewhere. Taylor lounging, sans Lays, in the hammock. Alyssa chats prettily with Michael and Terrance, as if her man isn't Dead Beau Walking. Kyle is sitting off alone in serious defeated posture, head bowed, awaiting the next crack of the karmic whip. How quickly the BB kingdoms crumble! When Alyssa isn't chatting with Terrance and Michael, she stares off with a touch of melancholy and regret. She strains to pay attention to Terrance's detailed instructions about how he makes mashed potatoes.
  10. 4:50 AM HT While hammies slumber, a quick update on what happened late last night when the feeds finally returned. Well, not all that much happened! Most of the hammies were outside enjoying the BY, except for Kyle, who stayed inside and stewed in his shame and avoided the happy-go-lucky crowd. Even his Lady Fair is no balm for him now! The BB karma has snapped back at him with a vengeance. Turner confirmed with Monte that he's putting up Kyle as the replacement nominee, and the house seems united (at the moment) to boot Kyle. Turner also told Kyle that he would be the replacement nomination. Apparently, at some point during the numerous times the feeds were down, the After Party alliance got exposed. Turner speculated with Monte about Terrance and Alyssa going next and a F5 of Turner/Monte/Michael/Brittany/Taylor. So an all-Leftover F5? Will Michael go for that when he knows Turner tried to backdoor him this week? This is another week where Taylor became the target (after Michael won veto) and then fate intervened and offered a reprieve. Taylor Karma is real!
  11. 6:30 PM HT Just so HT knows, the feeds are still down and have been for nearly two hours.
  12. 4:45 PM HT For the past hour, the feeds have been going on and off. When we get brief return of feeds, it's been mostly Monte and Terrance in the kitchen doing chitchat, with an occasional additional hammie passing through--Michael, Alyssa. Sounds like Turner is considering tossing Kyle up on the block when Michael uses veto tomorrow. Which is almost too good to be true, so CR won't get his hopes up.
  13. 3:15 PM HT All four feeds are on WBRB. CycleRob missed a lot of this on the feeds, but sounds like the Kyle/white alliance thing has spread through the house like wildfire. First Michael and Brittany told Taylor and Monte about it in the Have Naughty room (thanks, Sophy!). Then they told Alyssa about it. Kyle started nervousing and went up to the HOH to talk to Turner. After Michael/Brittany had filled Alyssa in, she scurried up to HOH, but when Kyle asked her what Michael/Brittany wanted, she just said they were "sharing information" and would talk to Turner. Eventually, Michael/Brittany talked to Turner alone up in the HOH and filled him in. Kyle reached nervousing overload. Finally, Alyssa filled Kyle in on what Michael/Brittany said. Kyle angst-ed that he was being perceived as a racist and even mentioned the SE word--self-eviction. Finally, he went to the DR on the verge of tears. Somewhere along the way, Monte filled Terrance in on it all, too. WBRB continues.
  14. 7:15 AM HT While the hammies slumber, CR will give you a quick rundown of what happened last night, post-nomination ceremony: As expected, Turner nominated Brittany/Taylor. He used as Vanessa's Reason that Joseph said he had a F3 with Brittany and Taylor. Of course, his real reason is that he just wants Michael backdoored. Michael and Turner had a quick cagey conversation with Turner apologizing for putting up "Michael's friends" but reassuring Michael that he and Michael were cool. Michael didn't buy this for a second and knows that Turner wants to try and backdoor him. Michael told Brittany soon after the nominations that they have to "play nice," but then later started pondering the possibility of going scorched earth on Kyle and exposing the proposed white alliance if veto "doesn't go our way." Brittany did not take nominations well. She wept! She kvetched! She declared her innocence of all things. She bawled to Alyssa that she never, never talked evah, EVAH about her going on the block. She doesn't know why Pretty Joseph would throw her under Diane's bus, or Terrance's bus, or someone's bus, or any bus. How horrifying, how unfair, how downright unconscionable. How is she supposed to enjoy Zingbot now? (The hammies seem to think today will be Zingbot Day!) Brittany turned into such a mess that Michael, apparently, started pondering taking Taylor off the block if he plays veto and wins. Which CR would love to see happen just for more Brittany betrayal meltdowns. Taylor wasn't happy about noms either, and she also cried a little, but she overall was much calmer than Brittany, probably due to Taylor's vast experience with the block. At one point she mentioned that the outsiders stories were just a little too similar and coordinated. Monte told Taylor (or was it Michael?) privately at one point that he doesn't believe that Joseph said all those things the outsiders claim he did, and that he, Monte, thinks Kyle probably blew up The Leftovers, and the outsiders are just blaming it on Joseph. Bingo! Nonetheless, Monte is onboard with joining the outsiders, and he/Turner/Kyle reaffirmed some post-Pound alliance, which CR is sure Kyle, at least, will never honor. Monte still goes back to Michael/Taylor/Brittany occasionally and shares scraps of intel with them, such as how everyone knows about The Leftovers now, and so on. As hammies filed off to bed, the target was the same: Michael. At the moment, it's Michael/Brittany/Taylor against the rest of the house.
  15. 12:45 PM HT Drive-by recap: A couple of hours ago, Monte met with Kyle and Turner, The Pound sans Joseph, and they compared notes and got Monte to agree that Michael should be the target this week. Turner will likely nominate Brittany and Taylor so they can hopefully get Michael not to play veto so they can backdoor him, though since we're down to eight people, chances Michael plays is still relatively high. Turner also sounds like he wants to pull Monte (for now) into the outsiders group while they target Michael/Brittany/Taylor, which they refer to as "a cluster."
  16. 8:55 PM HT Feeds back! Turner wearing the HOH key.
  17. 7:40 PM HT Back to the bedroom where Taylor has now joined Alyssa, Michael, and Brittany. Alyssa looks at Taylor with faux concern and asks her if it's hard that Joseph is gone and she didn't get to say goodbye. "That's the hardest part," Taylor admits, not getting a chance to say a heartfelt goodbye to her faux showmance. "He left happy!" chirps Alyssa and then prattles on about how Joseph was saying stuff that "wasn't adding up" (that phrase again) and it wasn't best for her game to keep him. Babble, babble, babble. She mentions the difficult times the outsiders had but Joseph and others made it bearable. Now discussion about how well they think they would have done as an outsider. "Do you know who you're talking to?" laughs Taylor, and Alyssa takes that opportunity to smugly reveal to Taylor that Joseph said if he could pick who had to suffer outside, he would have picked Indy, Jasmine, and TAYLOR to see how they would handle it. Back to Monte and Turner still playing Chinese Checkers. Whoever wins this will surely forecast who will win the season, an insider or outsider.
  18. 7:30 PM HT Kyle quickly departs the bedroom and leaves Brittany, Michael, and Alyssa to continue on their own. Alyssa says she couldn't trust Joseph but she knows she can trust them (Michael/Brittany) and there's a lot of talking between the lines in this conversation. She listened to Joseph and let him plead his case but "something was not adding up." "Eight freaking people, guys!" gloats Alyssa. She can't believe she made it this far, carried on the back of her NeanderTAL, when she thought she would go pre-jury. All four feeds now switch to the kitchen. Taylor, Monte, Turner, and Terrance. Monte and Turner are playing Chinese checkers. Well, this has turned boring quickly.
  19. 7:10 PM HT Alyssa and Brittany talking in the bedroom. Brittany seems to be still trying to play the fence with Alyssa and pretending that she and Michael are still fine with Kyle and Alyssa. Brittany tells Alyssa that Taylor is pissed that Joseph is gone. In the kitchen, chatter about "meeting" Tiffany. Kyle asks pertinent questions but CR is sure he's seething that the insiders got to mingle (so to speak) with Tiffany during veto and the grubby outsiders did not. Michael now in the bedroom with Brittany and Taylor, and Michael is discussing their decision to vote out Jasmine. Michael mentions Jasmine had all these alliances that he wasn't a part of and was lying about it, which leads Alyssa to prissily point out that that's so weird, because Joseph was acting like he wanted her on the block so they could get her out, and Joseph suggested he was working with other people whose backs he had to protect, and that made Alyssa feel so strange, because is there something going on that she doesn't know about? She's toying with Michael/Brittany here, and surely Michael is going to see through this. Alyssa says she's an island (?) in the game now, a tarnished beauty all alone. She continues to throw Joseph under the bus. "I trusted him, but clearly there's something bigger going on," Alyssa says, slyly alluding to what she can't say. Oops, she mentioned "sides" of the house and then backtracked and said, "Not that there are sides to the house." Jasmine chatter now. Alyssa thinks Jasmine being gone is good for her game. Now Kyle walks in.
  20. 8:20 PM HT Yeah! Back to the outsiders. Pretty Joseph is now in the hammock with Turner. Kyle is sprawled on the ground and cockblocking game talk. The boys ponder how different Michael would play the game if Brittany wasn't here. Turner wonders how Brittany would play without Michael. More Michael/Brittany chatter, where both Turner and Kyle are subtly trying to place a target on Michael for how good he is at so much. Kyle surmises he might have been a swimmer in college because he's so tall and thin. "Yeah, dude, he's really smart," Kyle observes dumbly. "He doesn't talk much either." They all stop talking to ponder this. Now they rehash alliances. The boys are deeply confused about Daniel's placement in the old Oasis alliance. Was he first in or last? Debate. Subpoints shared and refutation offered. Joseph reveals that Pooch said he came up with the name and the group for the Oasis. Turner is taken aback. "He came up with the name," Turner says. "I came up with the group." Joseph shares that Pooch was definitely taking credit for forming the group. CR isn't sure why Turner is invested in people knowing he formed the group for that failed alliance, but whatevs. Now they're trying to untangle chronology to determine which was formed first: Oasis or Po's Pack. After careful analysis, they decide Po's Pack was first at about Day 3, while Oasis was more Day 4. A discussion ensues about the origin of the name for the Po's Pack alliance. They find it peculiar that the alliance was named after someone in the alliance. Kyle claims that Monte came up with some other name for that alliance first, but it was a copyrighted name, so they had to change it to a different name, and thus Po's Pack was born. Turner departs the hammock for an unknown reason. Oh wait, Kyle is gone too. Pretty Joseph all alone. He rubs his eyes, flashes a little armpit, and meanders off. Now the three boys are playing that tossing game that has a name that CR forgets. Cornrow or cornho or something. Unless things perk up a bit, CR is out for the night.
  21. 8:10 PM HT What evil and malevolent force heard that CR was about to join the outside feeds? Now all four feeds are on the bumper pool. Sigh! Did Michael leave? CR does not see him. Monte shoots a bit of bumper pool on his own. Taylor, Jasmine, and Brittany observe and offer desultory commentary. Taylor looks like she's sneaking in a snooze. This is tragically boring.
  22. 8:00 PM HT Let's take a peek inside to see how the tony hammies are faring, shall we? Michael and Jasmine are playing bumper pool. Taylor watches from the sidelines. "Wawn, teww, three!" exclaims Jasmine. CR expected her shot to be lame and hambone-ish, but judging by the response from Taylor, the shot was pretty good. Oh, wait, Brittany and Monte are also watching the bumper pool. "Ohhh!" Taylor marvels. "Defense, defense!" "Yeah!" cheers Monte from off-camera. How novelistic Big Brother is tonight. While the Haves are lounging and unbothered and wiling away their hours of bounty, the Have Nots in the backyard hovel are scrambling and feinting and fighting to survive. Definitely a mistake for CR to join the insiders. Let's go back to the outsiders where there's at least some strategy talk amidst the Tarantino fanboying.
  23. 7:30 PM HT Joseph just mentioned The Leftovers to Terrance, so CR guesses Joseph knows that Terrance knows about The Leftovers. But does Joseph know that Terrance knows that Alyssa knows about The Leftovers? This is like a Henry James novel, where someone knows that he knows that she knows that they know that we know... Terrance told Joseph that if he can get Alyssa/Turner to flip, then he's on board. Joseph says he will get them to flip, though CR has his doubts. Joseph tells Terrance that he can give him a second life in the game with the insiders. Now Terrance seems a bit indifferent to the pitch. "This is Big Brother Part II," Joseph insists. "I have to go in there to play the second part of the game. Especially with those who gave me life." Pause. Silence. Planes overhead. "Yup," says a pitch-weary Joseph. Pretty Joseph goes back to looking defeated. Joseph announces he's going over to hang with the others. "Pray for me," he says. "I got you, bro," Terrance says, perhaps disingenuously. Joseph walks off, and Terrance heaves a sigh. "I need your help, babe," Terrance says to an absent lovely. His wife? Then he says something about his heart and making Big Brother decisions. Good OGG, Terrance! You don't need advice from your wife or some mysterious "babe." Listen to CR! Save Joseph and kick 10 Second Kyle to the curb!
  24. 7:20 PM HT How about a little of As the Hammies Turn, HT! Backyard feeds! Turner and Alyssa are in the hammock and Kyle is lounging beneath them. They're talking movies. Django Unchained is discussed. Turner reveals it's one of his favorite movies of all time! Kyle says he can't deal with the gore. Turner pontificates about the history of Django--damn, he knows all the details, including the name of Django's wife! More Tarantino discussion. CycleRob sort of wishes Alyssa would steer the conversation to obscure French films to confuse the Tarantino bros, but she just pipes in about her love for Leonardo DiCaprio. "I would recommend every fucking one of them," Turner says about Tarantino movies. He has made Turner want to be a filmmaker. Blah blah blah worship Tarantinocakes! Cut to Joseph and Terrance chatting. Joseph is shirtless and pretty and doomed. Joseph is begging for his BB life to Terrance. He pledges allegiance to Terrance and Alyssa if he stays. Terrance says no one has told him how they're going to vote. Joseph seems to sense he's probably going home, but he's fighting all the same. Joseph pledges eternal loyalty to Terrance if he saves Joseph. Loyalty, protection, Joseph promises all of it. CR can't tell if Terrance is all that receptive to the pitch. "Why do you think they betrayed you?" queries Terrance. He seems to be trying to see if Joseph will out The Leftovers. But Joseph kind of dances around the question. Oh, wait, now he's saying he'll never forgive Michael for... what? Not picking him? CR is confused. CR did not watch Sunday's show. Is there something he's missing? Joseph seems to be telling Terrance that if he saves Joseph, Joseph will charge into the house and lead the fight against Michael? "It's a new game," asserts Joseph. "The people inside, they're laughing and drinking and I'm not a part of that." Terrance listens stonily.
  25. 6:55 AM HT In case anyone is wondering why there are no recaps: Last night at about 8:15 PM HT, the feeds went down. They've been down ever since. Right now the feeds are still highlighting adorable kitties. A couple of kitties are grooming themselves. Oh wait, now a kitty jumped up onto an elevated table and glances about from this lofty position. Grooming and gamboling seem to be the order of the day. Feeds switch to frisky puppies. One puppy is trying to get something from under the bed. Other puppies are wrestling and jumping on each other, but not in a Kyle and Alyssa way. Birds flit picturesquely about. Kittycam and puppycam is more riveting than hammiecam.
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