CycleRob

I'm late to the game, but thanks to everyone who gave me a shout-out this season. It was fun to be recapping again and seeing some old faces along with the new ones. Much appreciation to all the admins who do the nitty-gritty, day in and day out, season after season. I think I'll return for Season 25, although I'm not sure how we top this season's finale and winner. Taylor is a true BB icon.

8:35 PM HT The remaining hammies sans Brittany are now rehashing tonight's competitions, sharing strategies for how they maneuvered the rope for the veto competition, how they kept track of colors in the HOH competition. Taylor was counting her toes at one point? Huh? Surely CR misunderstood. "He won all the iconic comps," Alyssa observes--BB Comics, OTEV, the Pride Slide. "It wasn't even close," Monte says charitably now that Michael has been sent packing. "Happy to be here with you guys, though," Monte shares. "Great group." Talk about Brittany's distress and Michael tossing her under the bus in his speech. Chatter and conviviality mixed with solemn silences for their departed OGG. Now they're talking about when they'll see their beloved ones again. Taylor is pondering how long it's been since she hugged Momma Taylor. They compare notes about Terrance and his lies. Terrance called someone a brat at one point, maybe Taylor? CR checks the other feed, which has briefly switched over to Turner soothing the troubled, Michael-less Brittany. Turner lies and says Brittany is one of his favorite people. Brittany is deeply aggrieved by Michael's exit but she knows it was necessary and it was quick so it "hurt less." Turner continues to pump her up. Brittany still distraught that Michael tossed her under Diane's bus and didn't hug anyone. Turner points out a lot of people leave the house that way. Brittany promises to hug everyone if/when she gets evicted. Turner and Brittany hugaboos.

8:25 PM HT After the brutal (but necessary) Michael boot, Monte, Turner, Alyssa, and Taylor are in one of the bedrooms, singing Michael's praises. He was a great competitor, one of the best evah, and they had to do it! Twitter is probably blowing up right now, muses Taylor. They had to take a shot, but great competitor, great guy. Rehash about how much Michael smoked them in the last HOH competition. The others have to explain to Turner what Michael said on his way out. Turner thought Michael meant that he was going to have something to say in his exit interview. Monte explains that Michael was acting like he was going to say something to them, the HG, but then he just stormed out instead. They're packing up all of Michael's stuff. More eulogizing of The Great Competitor and OGG Michael. "I can't believe that just happened," quavers Alyssa. "It's all a blur," admits Monte. CycleRob's feeds, perhaps stunned by Michael's eviction, start acting up, so CR will post.

8:50 PM HT Let's leap forward in time again... and still all four feeds are on the ex-cringemance. "What's your favorite way to cuddle?" asks a mindful Kyle. Alyssa mutters something that CR can't make out, and then Kyle grunts something that CR can't make out. Silence. Spooning. Kyle now informs Alyssa that he values kindness in a relationship (over frugality, apparently) and she is very kind. She says, "Thank you," and he says, "No, thank you." Cuddlecakes. Sweet nauseating muttercakes. "The thing I'll miss most is you," Kyle reveals. "Just so we're clear on that." "Really?" coquettes Alyssa. "Um hmm," responds Kyle. She says she'll miss him too. Heartfelt Kyle tells her he hopes that's the truth. She repeats that she will miss him. "For about a week," she adds impishly. Giggles. Shifting of positions. Interlocking fingers. "I love these gold earrings," Kyle compliments, perhaps hoping to add a day or two onto how long she'll miss him for. Good OGG, this is lame. CR would rather switch feeds and watch Turner listen to music on his headphones. Or maybe CR should just call it a night?

8:20-ish PM HT Let's leap a few minutes ahead and eavesdrop again on the ex-lovers, shall we? It's either that or trying to recap Monte snoozing in one of the bedrooms. Kyle and Alyssa are now talking about jobs. Kyle says he might be okay (CR assumes he means financially) when he leaves the BB house because he's frugal and had a very high-paying job for four years. "What does frugal mean?" questions our rather dim beauty. "It means when you don't spend a lot of money," Kyle explains, perhaps feeling rather professorial at this moment. Kyle says he only spends about $500 a month, which CR guesses is doable when you still live with mommy in Utah. But try living here in NYC on $500 a month, bitch! Alyssa confesses she spends more than that a month. Kyle projects that once he's banished from the house, he will continue to do Tik-Tok videos for all of his tween followers (okay, maybe Kyle didn't say the part about tween followers). "What about you?" Kyle asks expansively. "What are your big plans?" Alyssa ponders. The world yawns before her, ripe with possibility. "I want to be alone for awhile," she decides. "Yeah," Kyle says, deflated. She clarifies that she might only want to be alone for a few days. "I might want to get my own apartment in Tampa," she hints to her mommy-bound ex-love, but all he says is, "Really?" An apartment of one's own? This seems beyond Kyle's frugal imagination. "Who would you live with?" Kyle asks. "Myself," asserts Alyssa, feeling all Mary Tyler Moore. She might just make it after all, except in Tampa. "Do you have friends in Tampa?" questions Kyle, completely missing Alyssa's independent/modern girl theme. Alyssa says she doesn't, but she knows people in Orlando so it wouldn't be that long of a drive.

8:00 PM HT What? No one is recapping Kyle's final night in the house? Okay, CR will step up to the plate. Alyssa just went upstairs to the sofa outside the HOH to cuddle with her Dead Beau Walking. Except he's not exactly her beau anymore, since she supposedly broke up with him yesterday. But then after they broke up, they still did the unmentionable, apparently, perhaps as a "one more for the road" sort of thing? Now the doomed and spent lovers cuddle and giggle. They clasp each other in their arms, on the brink of romantic oblivion. "You're out of breath," Kyle informs her. More clasping. More sighing. They breathe together as one cringe-y entity. "Yeah, that sounded like fun," Kyle grunts, seemingly referring to something Alyssa was playing downstairs with Michael and Turner. "You missed out," Alyssa observes and then swings her hair back from her face to accommodate her ex-man in case he swoops in for any last night schmoopycakes. Finally, it's time for the ex-lovers to dig deep and reflect upon their experience together in this simulated environment that is BB. Kyle will start first. "How much gray is in my hair?" he queries. Alyssa mumbles something that sounds maybe like "kind of." She holds his face and neck in her hands in a way that looks like she's half ready to kiss him and half ready to choke him. "Wake up!" she insists to a groggy Kyle. "I'm an old man," he wisecracks to his Ex-Lady Fair. Now they're hiding behind their yellow bankie so they can (maybe) do some schmoopy away from CR's intrusive gaze. Behind the bankie, Kyle is talking about feeling frustrated and tired and Alyssa is so far away, even though she's right there under the bankie with him. "I wish we could have done our grilled cheese competition," Kyle sweet-talks Alyssa from behind the yellow bankie. This is CR's life, recapping this crud before bed on the east coast.

4:50 PM HT Kyle seems to be going on an apology tour around the house. Earlier he had a conversation with Taylor where he got quite weepy, and now he and Monte are talking and crying and wiping away their manly tears with bandanas and towels. Kyle is deeply remorseful and apologizes for what he said to Monte in the Have Naughty room, and he offers to let Monte punch him because "it will make me feel something other than what I'm feeling." Monte is a better man than CycleRob because he declines the offer. Monte now sharing his background and talking about his experience with race in America. He also talks about his friendship with Joseph and how he, Monte, was hurt by Kyle wanting to form an alliance that excluded people based on race. He tells Kyle that he doesn't hate him or even dislike him, he just didn't like his thought process about the Cookout 2.0 fears. Monte says that he "loves" Kyle as a person/human because he's solid and fun to be around and has relationships with everyone in the house, and these were all formed because of who Kyle is. It had nothing to do with skin color. Monte also mentions that he forgives Kyle for what he said in the Have Naughty room. (CR wishes he knew what Kyle said.) Monte is being very kind and genuine with Kyle. While Monte talks, Kyles fluctuates between acute listening and bowing his head in pariah shame. All in all, Kyle's apology tour is becoming like a Very Special Episode of Big Brother, or like an afterschool special focused on how to heal racial divisions.

11:10 AM HT Kyle and Taylor in the bathroom. Taylor chats amicably with him. Then she works on her lashes and brows while Kyle brushes his teeth white. Now Kyle is telling a story about how he had to learn a cheer at one point and botched it miserably. Taylor laughs, perhaps trying to help cheer up the gloomy lug. Now Kyle is lathering up for a shave, though his face already looks pretty hairless to CR. Cut to the BY couches. Alyssa sharing a story to Terrance and Monte about how she was a drama queen when she was little and fell off her bike. Now she shares that her knees are all scarred up from when she'd fall as a child, a most unwieldy child, apparently, and even as a flight attendant, she was a clumsy beauty, and would trip all the time. "One time I spilled red wine all over someone's iPad!" she confides. The guy was a wealthy businessman and Alyssa was deeply humiliated and traumatized. Her trainer has worked with her on ways to improve her balance. Taylor strolls out regally to the BY with perfect balance and posture to join them. Kitties.

10:35 AM HT The feeds are up, which means nothing much of interest is happening. Whenever something good is going on, the feeds shut down. Terrance, Alyssa, and Michael lounge outside on the Couches of Skank or whatever it is we used to call them. Monte is working out and Kyle is working out, but they are not working out together, even though they're near each other. A chopper overhead. Monte cracks a couple of unfunny jokes about them. "Oooo, a dog!" exclaims Alyssa. Where, where? CR strains his eyes. Has a random dog wandered onto the BB set? But no, CR guesses that Alyssa heard a dog barking somewhere. Taylor lounging, sans Lays, in the hammock. Alyssa chats prettily with Michael and Terrance, as if her man isn't Dead Beau Walking. Kyle is sitting off alone in serious defeated posture, head bowed, awaiting the next crack of the karmic whip. How quickly the BB kingdoms crumble! When Alyssa isn't chatting with Terrance and Michael, she stares off with a touch of melancholy and regret. She strains to pay attention to Terrance's detailed instructions about how he makes mashed potatoes.

4:50 AM HT While hammies slumber, a quick update on what happened late last night when the feeds finally returned. Well, not all that much happened! Most of the hammies were outside enjoying the BY, except for Kyle, who stayed inside and stewed in his shame and avoided the happy-go-lucky crowd. Even his Lady Fair is no balm for him now! The BB karma has snapped back at him with a vengeance. Turner confirmed with Monte that he's putting up Kyle as the replacement nominee, and the house seems united (at the moment) to boot Kyle. Turner also told Kyle that he would be the replacement nomination. Apparently, at some point during the numerous times the feeds were down, the After Party alliance got exposed. Turner speculated with Monte about Terrance and Alyssa going next and a F5 of Turner/Monte/Michael/Brittany/Taylor. So an all-Leftover F5? Will Michael go for that when he knows Turner tried to backdoor him this week? This is another week where Taylor became the target (after Michael won veto) and then fate intervened and offered a reprieve. Taylor Karma is real!

6:30 PM HT Just so HT knows, the feeds are still down and have been for nearly two hours.

4:45 PM HT For the past hour, the feeds have been going on and off. When we get brief return of feeds, it's been mostly Monte and Terrance in the kitchen doing chitchat, with an occasional additional hammie passing through--Michael, Alyssa. Sounds like Turner is considering tossing Kyle up on the block when Michael uses veto tomorrow. Which is almost too good to be true, so CR won't get his hopes up.

3:15 PM HT All four feeds are on WBRB. CycleRob missed a lot of this on the feeds, but sounds like the Kyle/white alliance thing has spread through the house like wildfire. First Michael and Brittany told Taylor and Monte about it in the Have Naughty room (thanks, Sophy!). Then they told Alyssa about it. Kyle started nervousing and went up to the HOH to talk to Turner. After Michael/Brittany had filled Alyssa in, she scurried up to HOH, but when Kyle asked her what Michael/Brittany wanted, she just said they were "sharing information" and would talk to Turner. Eventually, Michael/Brittany talked to Turner alone up in the HOH and filled him in. Kyle reached nervousing overload. Finally, Alyssa filled Kyle in on what Michael/Brittany said. Kyle angst-ed that he was being perceived as a racist and even mentioned the SE word--self-eviction. Finally, he went to the DR on the verge of tears. Somewhere along the way, Monte filled Terrance in on it all, too. WBRB continues.

7:15 AM HT While the hammies slumber, CR will give you a quick rundown of what happened last night, post-nomination ceremony: As expected, Turner nominated Brittany/Taylor. He used as Vanessa's Reason that Joseph said he had a F3 with Brittany and Taylor. Of course, his real reason is that he just wants Michael backdoored. Michael and Turner had a quick cagey conversation with Turner apologizing for putting up "Michael's friends" but reassuring Michael that he and Michael were cool. Michael didn't buy this for a second and knows that Turner wants to try and backdoor him. Michael told Brittany soon after the nominations that they have to "play nice," but then later started pondering the possibility of going scorched earth on Kyle and exposing the proposed white alliance if veto "doesn't go our way." Brittany did not take nominations well. She wept! She kvetched! She declared her innocence of all things. She bawled to Alyssa that she never, never talked evah, EVAH about her going on the block. She doesn't know why Pretty Joseph would throw her under Diane's bus, or Terrance's bus, or someone's bus, or any bus. How horrifying, how unfair, how downright unconscionable. How is she supposed to enjoy Zingbot now? (The hammies seem to think today will be Zingbot Day!) Brittany turned into such a mess that Michael, apparently, started pondering taking Taylor off the block if he plays veto and wins. Which CR would love to see happen just for more Brittany betrayal meltdowns. Taylor wasn't happy about noms either, and she also cried a little, but she overall was much calmer than Brittany, probably due to Taylor's vast experience with the block. At one point she mentioned that the outsiders stories were just a little too similar and coordinated. Monte told Taylor (or was it Michael?) privately at one point that he doesn't believe that Joseph said all those things the outsiders claim he did, and that he, Monte, thinks Kyle probably blew up The Leftovers, and the outsiders are just blaming it on Joseph. Bingo! Nonetheless, Monte is onboard with joining the outsiders, and he/Turner/Kyle reaffirmed some post-Pound alliance, which CR is sure Kyle, at least, will never honor. Monte still goes back to Michael/Taylor/Brittany occasionally and shares scraps of intel with them, such as how everyone knows about The Leftovers now, and so on. As hammies filed off to bed, the target was the same: Michael. At the moment, it's Michael/Brittany/Taylor against the rest of the house.

12:45 PM HT Drive-by recap: A couple of hours ago, Monte met with Kyle and Turner, The Pound sans Joseph, and they compared notes and got Monte to agree that Michael should be the target this week. Turner will likely nominate Brittany and Taylor so they can hopefully get Michael not to play veto so they can backdoor him, though since we're down to eight people, chances Michael plays is still relatively high. Turner also sounds like he wants to pull Monte (for now) into the outsiders group while they target Michael/Brittany/Taylor, which they refer to as "a cluster."