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spartini

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  1. Previously on Big Brother, Candice kept it real, VGM showed just how classy a lady she is, and Poland collectively crapped their pants when Aaryn won HOH. Judd found himself on the losing end of the good ol' blindside and according to Amanda, left instructions to evict Jessie next.

    Before we begin, rumor has it that Nick is currently hanging out in the Moscow airport desperately seeking asylum. Discuss.

     

    We begin by reliving the Candice/VGM smack down, which continued while the vote was taking place. While the other hammies are sitting there with stunned looks on their faces they just keep going at it.

     

    Now for Aaryn's brief, but deadly HOH. It's a mad scramble for Aaryn to choose her nominations, and she mentions that she'd love to put up...GM, wait a minute, what? Yes, she said GM. Helen goes up to Aaryn immediately after she wins veto and asks if Aaryn will backdoor Judd. Cue the clip that shows the catalyst to this stunning turn of events. Cut to Helen, Amanda and Aaryn in the HOH discussing how sketchy Judd is. Just before the veto ceremony begins Helen offers Aaryn two weeks safety and Aaryn can't resist. Poor Judd is Judding out (it's a thing!) thinking that they're all wanting to keep Jessie and has no idea what's coming his way.

     

    Judd is put on the block and is begging to stay, slowly everyone begins tearing up. Judd walks out and we didn't get confirmation on what he told Amanda. Excuse me, I have a little something in my eye, let me just find my red shorts. *sniff*

     

    Helen pisses off BB nation by comparing Aaryn to Janelle. Hey Helen, Nick has a ticket waiting for you at LAX. McCrae's upset over Juddy's eviction. Judd's funeral continues, with McCrae and Andy sniffing and crying and Helen insisting that this helps everyone's game, not the best time for an inspirational speech Hel's.

     

    The second HOH comp of the night is the, in Helen's words, "Classic BB" game where they have to balance a ball on a pivoting piece of wood and drop the ball into a hole. It's a competition of both speed and accuracy as they are playing rounds head-to-head, with the winners advancing to the next round, and so on and so forth.

     

    The actual competition itself is boring, until it comes down to McCrae v. Amanda. McCrae wins and Amanda is not happy. No forced sex for you tonight young man! Andy wins, and the montage of houseguests claiming how they all feel safe since they're such great friends with Andy is quite funny. Amanda begins blubbering and here comes Helen spreading sunshine and rainbows and bullshit. The snotting continues in the bathroom, I love watching Amanda freak out and all, but come on. McCrae smartly points out that they don't get any blood on their hands, and aren't seen as competitive threats, so it's better that she didn't win.

     

    Helen wants to go after Amanda and McCrae, but that's just not going to happen Helen. Andy doesn't want to have to choose a side and wants to play it safe, which is maddening. He nominates Spencer and Jessie, if you listen closely you hear what sounds like a bottle dropping on the ground when Spencer's key isn't drawn. Helen redeems herself by DRing that she will still try to get Amanda or McCrae nominated if the veto is used, she claims it will be very telling as to where Andy's loyalty lies. There's hope for you yet Helen.

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