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  1. Yesterday
  2. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    Yeah, no hamburger is that good.
  3. Last week
  4. oh, my, GOD... that was just pathetic!! I mean, I can't throw worth shit, either, but then (a) I wouldn't go on Survivor, and (b) I'm not a big strong ex-military guy. And "shitload" is an official standard of measurement, don't you know. I think this might be Joe's problem, the other times he's played... I was commenting to my Aunt, that Joe doesn't really seem, well, particularly overly bright, or strategic; but he is very good athletically, and with puzzles, and with doing just about anything... plus seems to be very likable by either gender... and being good-looking doesn't hurt, either. But I've never really seen any major strategy or sharpness out of him, that I can recall. As for Keith taking the box after Reem Daly's screeching revealed it's existence... I mean, I would, to, on Survivor. Partly because I'd be so goddammed sick of Reem Daly and not really want to help her in any way. Thank you for a very pleasant Sunday afternoon read! Loved it! Oh, and the part about Wendy getting lost leaving Tribal... if that's ever happened before, they haven't shown us, but that was kinda funny. Even she's not stupid enough to just pick going home. Can't wait to see how the Jurassic Island thing plays out this week!
  5. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    Yeah, I figured they knew everyone would stay, too.... i mean, it was like the other option was only there as a legality or technicality or whatever. Who's really gonna do that?? Unless maybe they were legit hurt or sick or something?
  6. As usual, the episode opens on Extinction Island and now I’m bummed with have this twist because not only are we still stuck with the vocal fry stylings of Reem Daly but now we have Aubry crying about how she went home with an idol and an advantage in her pocket. As she put it, “that’s JT levels of embarrassment.” Oh, honey. As long as you didn’t write a love letter to your biggest enemy (Freckles) then you haven’t quite hit JT of Heroes vs. Villains bottom. Reward challenge time! Probst is wearing a Valspar paint Atlantic Schooner shirt, for those keeping score at home. The rest of the tribes get a gander of the new Manu that now has one less Aubry. Reactions range from shocked to happy to pensive. Probst asks Joe what he makes of it. He says that Manu was strong but is no longer so strong. Today’s challenge involves leaping over a series of tables, pull a lever and release a shitload of sandbags. They will then use those sandbags to throw at targets to release two flags. First two tribes to win get the reward. Want to know what they are playing for? Well of course you do because otherwise you would not be reading this, would you? First tribe to finish gets coffee, tea, pastries and cookies. Second tribe gets iced coffee and cookies. Since Kama has one extra person, Aurora sits out. Survivors ready? GO! Tribes are pretty much tied going over the tables and all three tribes release the sandbags around the same time. Kama of course has all theirs in the bin first and Joe immediately starts hitting the target. Finally both Lesu and Manu finish getting their sandbags in the bin and are able to start throwing at the target. Gavin throws for Manu and while he is no Joe, he at least hits it a couple of times. As for Lesu Dodo Birds, well…remember when Kelley was complaining about David being like a girl? Apparently she hadn’t seen Warthog throwing sandbags at a target. Yes, I know I’m a complete hypocrite after bitching out Kelley for her gender disloyalty, but that’s my jam. Also I have seen five year old girls who can throw better than Warthog. Still happy you voted out Chris, you losers? Joe drops the first flag for Kama, Gavin gets the first flag for Manu. Finally Lesu switches out Lauren for Warthog and she manages to at least hit the target a few times. Warthog eventually says he can go back in and he once again whiffs the targets completely. Probst has nothing for Team Dodo and dismisses them handily. And of course Kelley bitches and moans to us about how Kama is riding on Joe’s shoulders and she wishes she had that and I once again yell at my television, THEN WHY DID YOU VOTE OUT CHRIS, YOU DODO BIRD? Kama eats their feast and refuses to check their egos at the door. Julie butters Joe up with more grease than in your average croissant, complimenting his skill at challenges and how they rely on him so much. Joe is not actually fooled by this but he seems to desperately want to believe them. We even see him crying in a confessional to the camera later, clearly articulating how difficult it is to want to trust the people around you but knowing no one can be trusted. Joe wants to take out some of the targets on the other Manu tribe, because let’s face it, Lesu is going to self-immolate soon. Speaking of which, over on Loser Beach, David is marveling at what it must be like to be Joe and be just amazing while barely breaking a sweat. While Lauren complains about being so hungry and getting sick from the rice to Warthog, David is out combing the tide pools, trying to spearfish them while Mr. Military Man sits on his ass because, as he puts it, he is the one putting all the effort out on the physical challenges. I would like to enter into evidence Prosecution Item One, tape of the challenge just finished where Warthog threw like a palsied koala bear. Anyway, Dickhead pulls David and Kelley aside to convince them that Lauren needs to be voted off next. Why do they keep listening to this moron? Nothing of what he has suggested has been helpful! David and Kelley immediately agree then go off to the well to complain about the monster they created. I have exactly zero sympathy. Back to Jurassic Extinction Island of the Damned. A mystery box has been delivered, containing five maps. Same as before but now with added moth-eaten holes. Horrid Reem Daly mentions no one should run off on their own so there is no paranoia, and Keith mutters, “No promises” at her. That made me laugh because considering how insane Reem Daly is, that response is pretty mild. “You aren’t the boss of me, bitch” would be my go-to response for anything she utters. Everyone goes traipsing off to the top of Mount Doom, but Dadbod Rick figures out the holes actually align and the item they are searching for is somewhere on the beach. He thinks it is by the surrender flag, so he sneaks back down to start digging. Eventually some of them return back to the beach. Reem Daly leeches onto Rick’s search area, but as she is looking at her own map, she figures out the item is actually among the rocks when the tide is out. She is wading through the water with Keith when she points at something and screeches, “What is that?” Way to be subtle. Keith, who has proven himself to be so trustworthy, heads right over to the object which turns out to be a box. Reem Daly tried reaching for it herself but the damage was done. The box contains a section of rope with some intricate knots and the clue tells the bearer that at the appropriate time their biggest threat can be assigned the knots. Keith is happy that he will be able to take out Chris, his biggest threat. Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched, Keith. The challenge you all face may happen in the water, in which case you should just nope out now and go get your burger. So perhaps you all think the worst part of Extinction Island this week was Keith getting the advantage over just about everyone else. Well, you would be wrong. Back at their meagre camp, Reem Daly tells Chris and Dadbod Rick how pissed she is that Keith touched the item first. They both laugh at her and then Chris says, “What the hell, Reem? You just gave it to him.” He is ruefully laughing as he says it, but of course Reem Daly is offended and tells us that Chris and Rick are “stupid” for thinking she just gave Keith the advantage. Now, if I’m going to be fair, which doesn’t happen often, I don’t actually blame Reem Daly OR Keith for what happened. Reem is someone prone to outbursts, outbursts of any variety. “Look at that giant blister on my toe!” “I like cheese!” “Animals are great.” You get the idea. So for her to blurt out “What is that?” is a natural thing for her. Keith, as has been shown, is a shady motherfucker so for him to pick up the item first is a natural thing for him. However, Chris is also entirely right in by pointing out the box while Keith was in the vicinity, Reem Daly unintentionally gave it to him. So for Reem Daly to have a temper tantrum at Chris, yelling at him that he has the biggest effing mouth in the whole country, while she is pointing a finger at him, getting up to go over and yell at him in close proximity, stalking back to her perch, all the while continually yelling at mild mannered Chris, who finally asks her, “Why are you still talking about it?” Her response? “You are getting on my nerves!” I have some sympathy for Aubry at this point, as she is entirely confused as to what kind of a live-action Chekov play she has just walked into. Let me sum up Reem Daly for you, Aubry: Bitch be crazy and loud. But mostly crazy. Immunity challenge time! Probst is wearing a Valspar paint Sea Sparkle, for those keeping score at home. The Survivor tribes with climb a latter, maneuver a bag attached to a rope while crawling on a net. They will then use the ball inside the bag to loop onto a hoop and drop a cage door. They will then sprint to the finish to solve a slide puzzle. Kama is the only tribe with one extra member so Ron sits out. Oh, and Probst has one more surprise for them. He removes the second immunity idol and informs the tribes there will be only one immunity winner tonight. The two losing tribes with BOTH be going to tribal council and only ONE person will be voted off from both tribes. Oooo, new twist that is actually interesting! I love it! Survivors ready? GO! Kama, aka the tribe with Joe, is in the lead from the beginning and of course they fly through the course and Joe hits the hoop on his first try, so they have a good jump on the other two tribes with the slide puzzle, which is being worked on by the Jules (JuliA and JuliE. Why are they on the same tribe?). Manu has Gavin tossing the ball and their gate drops. Bringing up the rear is our hapless Lesu. Warthog is tossing the ball, which Probst calls a monkey’s paw. I thought that was for granting wishes that turned out to be horrible but oh well. Warthog’s throwing skills have not improved since last time, so you can guess what happens. If your guess was “Warthog looks like an idiot” you would be correct. David very calmly instructs him to give the rope some slack, which actually work and the ball is through the hoop. Unfortunately, Warthog forgot to hold on to his end of the rope and runs to pull it but the rest of Lesu screams at him to do it from the throwing spot, which is a rule. Finally their gate it down and they run to the slide puzzle. David and Kelley work on the slide puzzle. Meanwhile, over on Kama, Joe switches out with Julie and what do you know….Joe figures out the slide puzzle and Kama wins immunity. I honestly think if Lesu had had a little more time, they might have pulled it off but Joe is too damn good. So Kama and Joe is safe, while Manu and Lesu have a date with Probst. David is apprehensive for tonight’s tribal. Four Manu and Four Lesu, and if they can’t agree on which person to vote out, they all go to drawing rocks. He says that as a player it is nauseating but for a viewer it is exciting. I beg to differ with him. Drawing rocks is terrible. It is random and can remove someone who has totally earned his or her place at the table. The first time they drew rocks, on Season Five, Pascal went home and we ended up with a final two of Neleh and Vecepia. That was one of the worst final twos we’ve had in thirty eight seasons. Post challenge strategies follow the same basic line: we vote together and say we are willing to go to rocks. Manu finds Wendy telling the former Kama people that David is “wormy” and will be willing to switch sides. Eric doesn’t buy that any returning player would be willing to go to rocks. Freckles agrees and thinks they are better off because they do not have returning players. I don’t really know how that gives you an advantage, because you really don’t know what the returning players will do or what they think. Eric and Gavin try to figure out if the Lesu tribe will put votes on which one of the two of them and they pledge their undying loyalty to each other. I do like both of these fellows (so far) and not just because Eric is kind of hot in a Hugh Jackman sort of way. Gavin tells us later that he is willing to draw rocks for any of his Manu tribe and he thinks they are willing to do the same for him. Well, not so fast there, kid. Freckles has something to tell us about it. She is much more vote-flexible than any of her current tribemates realize. As she puts it, she is willing to betray her alliance in order to get further in the game. She outright says she is not trustworthy, because she can always find an in somewhere else. Oh, please, oh please let this one’s downfall be a spectacular blindside, preferably at the hands of Joe! Meanwhile, over on Lesu, Kelley suggests that while she would like to take out one of their guys, it might be better to target Victoria as that would be unexpected. Warthog then says a better idea is to throw four votes on Wendy and that way there is a chance that the four Manu would not be willing to draw rocks for their one outlier. Kelley is angry that once again Warthog did not listen to anything anyone else said and also that his logic is sound. I agree, it is very annoying when someone who annoys you makes a valid point, though I usually reserve my annoyance for when my husband is right. Lauren feels certain the Manus will be voting for her. David volunteers to talk to Wendy and tell her they are voting for someone other than Wendy, so that the vote may come up 4-3-1, which is also a good plan except that it relies on Wendy retaining her sense of loyalty to the old tribe. “Rely” and “Wendy” appear to be anathema. Lesu agrees they are willing to go to rocks if it becomes necessary. Warthog decides he is going to the beach to dry out his feet after David said they need more firewood. The non-Hog Lesu members all gripe about how Warthog does nothing to contribute to camp life. What he does instead is go off to look for an idol. The rest of them decide they are going to go look for it, too. The result? Kelley finds the idol right under Warthog’s nose and I bet as he watched that at home he felt like a complete doofus, which of course was the editor’s intention. Lauren tells Kelley that she, too, has an idol but she doesn’t want to play it tonight. The veteran player admonishes Lauren, reminding her it’s not worth going home over an idol (or as we know, going to Extinction Island of the Misfit Toys). Lauren assures Kelley she will not go to rocks over Warthog, if it comes to that. Smart move, girl. He would not do the same for you. Tribal council time! Probst is wearing a Valspar paint Sea Sage shirt, for those keeping score at home. He directs his first question to Freckles, who claims the difference with post-challenge camp time is that there were no side conversations. Well, there were no side conversations that SHE knows about. We did see Eric and Gavin talking away from the tribe so she is already wrong. Lauren says that the Lesu tribe didn’t even have to talk about it, they already knew they were going to stay united. Warthog goes into a long speech about how he’s got his Earp Gang there and proceeds to name them: Wyatt (David) , Virgil (Lauren), and Morgan (Kelley). He then realizes he has made himself Doc Holliday, which Probst finds very amusing. Kelley proclaims that they welcome any of the Manu people with open arms. Wendy responds to Jeff by saying she is once again in the middle, like she was on the old tribe. Probst catches that she didn’t say she USED to be with the Lesu people, which may be a telling different or he may be picking at nits that aren’t really there because people are tired and hungry. David smoothly invites Wendy back to their side, but Eric interjects, noting that Wendy spilled the beans about all of her old tribe mates because she never felt part of their group. Talk then switches to drawing rocks, and David basically throws down by saying he’s done it before and he’ll do it again. Freckles isn’t buy it still because she cannot understand why a vet would ever return just to go out on a rock draw. Well, since she wouldn’t do it, it isn’t possible for anyone else to have a different take on the matter. And take off that stupid knit hat. No one wears wool in the tropics. You just look like a Brooklyn hipster doofus. Wendy whispers to David that she has a place with them if he wants it. Then Lesu starts whispering to each other and David invites Wendy to a private discussion over to the side. They whisper with each other and then go back to their seats. Probst pauses for a minute and says, “Is that it? Is it time to vote.” Kelley says yep, so that’s what they do. Time to vote. Time to go tally the votes. Probst invites any hidden immunity idols to be used but neither Lauren nor Kelley play theirs. Jeff reads the votes. Wendy. Lauren. Wendy. Luaren. Wendy. Lorine. Wendy. Lauren. It’s a tie. So a revote is about to happen. Neither Lauren nor Wendy will vote, everyone else can only vote for one of those two candidates. All of a sudden, whispering is going on: Wendy and Eric, Kelley and Warthog, Warthog and David, Eric to Warthog and David, Kelley and Lauren to Gavin and Freckles. No one is talking to Wendy. It’s kind of sad but at the same time what you would expect for a person who has put herself clearly in the chaos-neutral camp. David says to Probst, “It’s like the worst cocktail party ever” but Jeffy is not amused. He calls an end to the shenanigans and says it is time to revote. Kelley takes the urn back to the voting booth and everyone other than the two candidates revotes. Now let’s tally THOSE votes. Wendy. Wendy. Big Wendy. Wendy. That’s enough. She smiles and giggles and says it’s cool, it’s cool. She asks Probst to call her Big Wendy. He obliges her and she loves it! Once her torch is snuffed, she demands a hug from Jeff, who willingly complies, grinning the whole time, then tries to pretend he is a curmudgeon again and tells her to get out of there. He obviously is very fond of her and it looks like just about everyone on both tribes is as well as they all smile and wave goodbye. Wendy skips off down the path to her cheeseburger and shower….and promptly gets lost. Apparently following a line of torches is a lot more difficult than one supposes. Eventually she makes her way back to the lighted path, undoubtedly with the help of a few production assistants, and comes across the directional sign. She snorts and grabs the torch to head off for Charon’s boat to reunite with the rest of the damned on Extinction Island. Next week, a repeat of Drop! Your! Buffs! …. But wait! There’s more! “Come on in, guys!” FINALLY something more interesting than counting the number of times Reem Daly says, “Dude” will happen with Extinction Island!
  7. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    Nah, they knew everyone would stay. Think of the number of people who have actually quit, versus the number who have played.
  8. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    I'm thinking this idea is backfiring on the producers. I doubt they figured ALL of them would choose to go to dinosaur island. I was surprised that not even Keith bailed.
  9. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    It has to be only one person, otherwise the complete first half was a waste of time. As long as someone drowns Ream Daly in the ocean or sets her on fire or something, I’m fine. Maybe throw Keith in for good measure.
  10. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    If that's the case, I hope the one returnee is Dadbod Rick.
  11. Talk/Chat Shows

    It's been nearly a year since I posted here on this topic, but I have something to say. David Letterman was on the Ellen show this week, saying that he thought he was on TV for about ten years too long, and no one had the guts to fire him. Ellen reassured him that everyone loved him, but he probably had a good point. I think Colbert gives new energy to the show that was lacking, and maybe Dave was just hanging on to try to outlast Leno, just out of spite. He retired right after Leno was replaced by Jimmy Fallon.
  12. Survivor 38: Edge of Extinction

    According to the previews, an entire tribe of eliminated rejects is coming back, complete with Keith having some sort of advantage. All I can say is that I hope only one gets back in the game, and the rest go off into the oblivion of Survivor history, never to return.
  13. Hamster Headlines and Past BB Seasons

    Dammit, I kinda liked these two crazy cats. Neither are the quickest wits, but they do seem to fit together. Maybe they'll go with "Maeve" as a nickname.....because changing the short "a" in Mav to a long "a" seems to fit their vibe. That little blessing now faces a lifetime of having her name misspelled and/or mispronounced and certainly misinterpreted as male on documents.
  14. I totally get that! Ugh. At least my Spring Break just started...
  15. Hamster Headlines and Past BB Seasons

    Ha! Maybe Goose is the kid's middle name.
  16. Thanks! I'm working on it but life got in the way this week.
  17. I was totally surprised that it was a 2-hour episode, too... I was ready to get up and do something, and then, the show just continued! I checked the "info" and sure enough! Love this one and can't wait for Part Two!
  18. Hamster Headlines and Past BB Seasons

    Goose might have been another option. I liked Goose better!
  19. Hamster Headlines and Past BB Seasons

    To make matters even worse, if you don't see that name in writing and only hear it, you would think it's Maverick Nixon.
  20. Hamster Headlines and Past BB Seasons

    Not that the name isn't completely stupid, but wouldn't Maverick be a better name for a boy?
  21. Hamster Headlines and Past BB Seasons

    bwah! perfect response Magpie.
  22. Hamster Headlines and Past BB Seasons

    They're saving that name for their second child.
  23. Hamster Headlines and Past BB Seasons

    Jesus fucking Christ
  24. Hamster Headlines and Past BB Seasons

    Nah, that one still wins the prize, jak. Baby's name is Maverick Nickson.
  25. Hamster Headlines and Past BB Seasons

    I didn't read the article because I don't give a shit about those people, but worse than Ream Daly?
  26. Two hour episode in the middle of the season? What is Probst trying to do? I have to work in the morning! Better get going on this bloated extravaganza… Jurassic Island, Day 12. Speaking of going to work, Dadbod Rick is wearing his French blue button up shirt and skinny dark blue tie as if he is about to step into the studio and deliver the morning news. Well, I guess under these circumstances, it would be a remote on location. “We’re here in Fiji, Holly, gathering driftwood for the fire and lamenting the fact that everyone on Close-To-Death Island hates your intrepid reporter because he was better at Survivor than they were.” There is a close up of Reem Daly’s face that I could have done without, as it seems she has eaten her lower lip. Rick is actually pretty happy that he still has a chance in the game while the rest of the morose bunch of losers is, well, morose. A challenge already! It is a reward, and Probst is wearing a Valspar paint Ballroom Dancing shirt, for those keeping score at home. Survivors are going to race through a series of obstacles – which on this show could mean anything from a one foot tall hurdle to surfing a tsunami to shore – collecting bolos along the way. Once they have collected all the bolos, they will attempt to land those bolos on a horizontal post. Want to know what the first two tribes to finish will win? Well, I should just say what will Manu and Kama win, because we know Lesu the Losers ain’t winning squat tonight. First tribe to finish gets peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, jars of PB and J and a bottle of cold milk. Second tribe to complete the task gets a few sandwiches. Lesu gets nothing. Okay, let’s get this farce over with. Survivors ready? GO! The first obstacle is a rope crawl which they all get through fairly evenly. To gather the first bolos, one tribe member needs to be boosted up to untie said bolos. Kama and Manu finish fairly quickly, but Lesu tries lifting David on Warthog’s shoulders while the girls support him and unsurprisingly it does not work. After a couple of tries, David being unceremoniously dropped on the ground, and Probst gleefully announcing it’s a disaster for Lesu, Lauren gets up on Warthog’s shoulders and grabs the bolos. Why didn’t you idiots do that in the first place? Kama and Manu are both throwing bolos when Warthog drops Lauren, too. Probst shouts out that each tribe member has to land a bolo, which is an interesting twist. Kama wins easily enough, giving Lesu a chance to catch up as Freckles on Manu is having trouble. But of course, this is Lesu so they lose. The other tribes leave with their stuff while David sadly laments how they keep trying to think positive but it’s so hard when they keep losing. Probst is all, wow I didn’t even have to ask a question. He still needles them with his standard, “Got nothing for you.” Kelley manages to piss me off by whining to the camera later about how David is “basically a girl” because he weighs less than she does and is not a caveman strong-like-bull sort of fellow. Really, Wentworth? Calling David a girl as an insult? Truly rude. Kama eats their rewards, but the game never ends, so Julia tells us how much she wants to get Joe out. Then while Joe is out fishing, and may I say diving pretty freaking deep and catching what looks like a nice red snapper, back at camp, Julie, Julia, and Ron plot Joe’s demise. Well…that’s what it seems is happening. Ron is having second thoughts about getting rid of the one guy who actually knows what he is doing to provide for the rest of the useless blobs on his tribe. Ron recognizes that camp life is pretty sweet with Joe doing the work, AND providing a meat shield along the way. When he mentions that to the Julie/a, they are not happy about it. Joe needs to go now! Manu also enjoys their reward, and also enjoys fantasizing about eating chickens. Both Freckles and Hellooooo Eric really want chicken. Eric also considers that getting rid of the returning players as well. Aubry continues her streak of annoying me by complaining that no one is talking game, they only want to talk chickens! It seems if Aubry had her way, there would be nothing but strategy talk, 24/7. That seems like a recipe to get voted out at the first opportunity if ever there was one. Freckles, Eric, and Gavin discuss which person they would vote out between Wendy and Aubry, and amazingly Freckles comes up with a slightly brilliant plot. She volunteers to offer a girls’ alliance to Aubry so that if the returning player has an idol, she would never play it. Smart and sneaky! I like it! However, Eric then shows he’s just a pretty face but saying they should just tell Wendy they are voting for Aubry. Seriously? Three to two votes. Why would you risk Wendy spilling the beans? Dumbass. Anyway, Freckles does a good job pulling Aubry in. Works like a charm. Lesu. David asks Warthog if he wants to try and go fishing with David, but Mr. Military man passes because he has only had a handful of rice and has no calories left. David graciously accepts Warthog’s willingness to lay down and die. He compares the Lesu tribe to being so extinct, no one is even looking for them anymore. They are the last four dodo birds in existence. He says he will go look for snails but actually sneaks off to look for the hidden immunity idol. Meanwhile, his worthless tribemates complain to each other about how worthless David is at challenges. Lauren feels she is sitting pretty because she has Kelley and Warthog. Meanwhile, Warthog suggests to Kelley that taking out Lauren is a better option because David is more of a risk to have an idol. Ha! Except it is Lauren with the idol, so once again Warthog is WRONG! Also I wonder if he is sorry now that he engineers Chris’ ouster two weeks ago. He should be. Back to Edge of Jurassic Extinction Island. OH GOD SOMETHING IS HAPPENING! Chris finds a box and it turns out to have four notes addressed to each of our previous losers. They all read them together and the notes are all the same: the back page of a classic Mad Magazine. Rick, whom I am certain has spent a lot of his youth chortling over “Spy vs. Spy” and film spoofs like “The Hunger Pains” immediately realizes the clue means to fold the magazi…uh, the map in thirds. Thus the arrows are pointed at two different trees at the top of the island. Reem Daly and her loud voice make them agree to all go together, but she was not watching Keith’s eyes as they roll around in his head like the teenager he is in reality. At the first opportunity, he sneaks off to search for whatever is hidden alone. Well, duh, of course he did. This is SURVIVOR! It takes the rest of them far too long to figure out that Keith is a Sneaky Pete, but they do finally catch up and Chris manages to push Keith out of the way at one tree, while Dadbod Rick goes to the other. Chris finds three slats and a string with the instructions to practice (practice what? Thanks for being so clear there, Probst). Dadbod Rick, meanwhile, finds at the other tree an advantage which is to secretly give someone headed to Tribal Council an extra vote. So basically, they got something they will share with each other and an advantage that is really an advantage for someone else. So was it worth it, Keith? Immunity challenge time! Probst is wearing a Valspar paint Stormy Cove shirt, for those keeping score at home. This one is over the water and involves the Survivors racing up a ramp, diving down to retrieve a puzzle piece, and once they have all their pieces, they will pull their pontoon to the final platform and use the pieces to build a three dimensional pyramid puzzle. First two tribes to finish win immunity, Lesu will go back to tribal council. But let’s go through the formality, shall we? Survivors ready…GO! Kelley starts off for Lesu and for all her vaunted athleticism, she cannot swim worth shit. She is unable to release the puzzles pieces. Manu finishes rather quickly and gets to the final platform, while Kelley gives up and Lauren swims out to try and get the puzzle pieces. Kama takes longer but finally gets their pieces. Lauren gives up and Warthog finally gets one of their pieces. David tries, but is, unsurprisingly, unable to get it. So Lauren goes back and gets the second piece. Amazing! They pull the platform and actually are able to start working on their puzzle. Both Kama and Manu are still working, but then Kama manages to finish. Aurora gestures over to Aubry about what pieces go where but it doesn’t matter. Lesu manages to finish second thanks to Lauren and David taking the lead on the puzzle. Thus Manu loses and Lesu doesn’t have to go to Tribal for the first time the entire season. Needless to say, they are happy and you know Probst. He LOVES a good comeback story. Manu finds the four original Kama meeting and agreeing to vote out Wendy, however Aubry really wants to do something strategic, so she and Freckles talk about the advantages of voting out Eric versus voting out Wendy. The two corner Wendy and try to get her to commit to voting out one of the guys, but Wendy is only committed to fowl freedom and she demurs. This offends Super Strategist Aubry because how do you work with someone who won’t commit to an alliance? My feeling is more how do you work with someone who has shown herself to be a flibbertigibbet the entire time she has been on the island. But of course, Aubry is stuck on that “make a big move for your Survivor resume” crap, a topic on which I have ranted numerous times. Anyway, she goes off to check and make sure her idol is in her bag, when lo and behold, she finds out someone has given her an extra vote. Thanks a lot, Dadbod Rick. Although I understand his choice here. Wendy is too much of a loon to trust with an extra vote since she will probably cast it for Colonel Sanders. Dadbod Rick’s best option is the one returnee on the tribe as being most likely on the outs with the others. The question is, will Aubry get a clue that Gavin, Freckles and Hellooooo Eric are plotting her demise tonight or will she spill the beans to her alliance/not actual alliance? The note says the extra vote can be used until there are seven people left in the game. Anyway, Aubry keeps talking but I don’t want to listen. Hooray for fast forward! Tribal Council, now with an all-new cast! Probst is wearing a Valspar paint Royal Gray shirt, for those keeping score at home. He is very excited because he finally gets to say again that fire represents your life on the island and once that fire has gone out, so have you, except in cases of Exile, Redemption, or Extinction Isle. Gavin tells Jeff that the mood was relaxed back at camp so he is curious to see what happens tonight. Aubry says of course people were talking. Probst asks Wendy WTF is up with her game play and Wendy, who really is a delight, just smiles her way through her answer of it’s great just to be here, Jeff, so why be sad? You are gonna love the vibe on the Edge of Extinction Island, Wendy. She does admit that she has a hard time separating her actual self and her morals to the gameplay part of Survivor. Honestly, I’m not seeing even a scooch in that direction Huh, who knew “scooch” is an allowable word according to Spellcheck? I did not. Gavin smooth talks his way through a minefield of Probst questions in order to make Aubry feel very comfortable. And with that, it’s time to vote. Time to tally the votes. But does anyone want to play a hidden immunity idol? No. Aubry. Big Wendy. Aubry. Oh, her face fell. Aubry. Oh, yeah, she’s shocked. She says they are unbelievable players. She tells them good luck and to go kill it and walks off. At the crossroads, she notes that it is an easy decision, grabs the torch and walks off down the path to see the ferryman. Thus endeth hour one of tonight’s marathon.
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